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Becca
Dedicated July 2020

Wedding Guests Professional Makeup and Hair

Becca, on March 13, 2020 at 10:38 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 28
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Does anyone else have wedding guests talking about getting their hair and makeup professionally done for your wedding? How does that make you feel?

Because for me, honestly it upsets me that I'm going to put out a bunch of money for me, my bridesmaids, the mothers of the groom, and the flower girl to get their hair done so we can stand out and look extra beautiful only to have a guest (coworkers and non-close friends) come trying to upstage us. I'm just, kind of upset because while I understand it is a petty thought, it's my day and I feel like fancy hair should be reserved for the bridal party...

28 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs. Coakley, on March 15, 2020 at 3:21 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online ·
    • Flag
    A guest looking and feeling good takes nothing away from you looking and feeling good.
    • Reply
  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha ·
    • Flag

    I Think It Will Be Okay As Long As What They're Wearing Isn't Trying To Out stage You. YOU Will Be The Center Of Attention And YOU Will Look And Feel Beautiful No Matter What.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I don’t mind that but I would be annoyed I guess if it feels like they’re trying to upstage you. I had a guest CHANGE OUTFITS! For the ceremony she had her hair in half up half down and was in a black dress. For the reception she let her hair down and changed into a long gold dress. I mean ... why? Aha but it is what it is and that honestly made her look bad because it felt very much like she was looking for attention. My other friends noticed and made a comment to me the next days about how they noticed she did an outfit and hair change ... as a guest
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn’t care or probably even notice. Most people want to look their best for events and if that means getting a blowout or having someone else do their makeup then that is great.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    100% agree with this. Several of my girlfriends got their hair done at Ulta or got ready together so girls could do their makeup. It made me so happy everyone was excited for our wedding and was taking time to get fancy for it! Obviously a guest won't upstage a bride in a long white dress.

    • Reply
  • Shamaree
    Dedicated February 2020
    Shamaree ·
    • Flag
    People get their hair and makeup done for lesser occasions so that wouldn’t bother me. Others looking nice doesn’t mean you’ll look any less nice. You’ll be the only one in a wedding dress so they wouldn’t upstage you even if they were trying to.
    • Reply
  • Chantal
    Expert May 2021
    Chantal ·
    • Flag

    I agree with PPs; some people just get really excited and want to look extra nice for your occasion! Don't worry, you're still going to be the star of the show. You and your FH are why everyone is gathered, and no one is going to feel like they should pay attention to a guest because their makeup is done. For some people, that's just what they do Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag

    You know some people can't do their own hair / make up and prefer to have someone do it for them. I wouldn't take offense to it. Maybe they don't want to be the guest that looks "silly" if they do it themselves.

    I once got my make up done just to go out with the girls, actually thinking back to that day, we all did that day. I'm sure the guest didn't tell you this maliciously, they probably just told you to do so in conversation.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Devoted March 2019
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    Think about it this way: if you hadn't overheard your guest say that she was going to do this, then there's a 99% chance you wouldn't have even noticed!
    Personally, I don't know jack about doing my hair and makeup - I can blow dry it straight and put on basic eyeliner/mascara, so seeing my friends who are good at doing their own hair and makeup looks professional to me, if anything I'd rather have my guests show up and look nice than have everyone come in jeans and flip flops (unless it's a casual wedding of course).

    Put your mind at ease, realistically she's probably just going for a wash/blowout, and will look nice but blend in with every other guest who has made an effort to look put together for your special day!
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted October 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    I would be so excited if I had guests putting that much time, money, and effort into looking their best for our big day! That’s awesome. The fact that you want to keep that feeling reserved for you and the bridal party seems silly. Weddings are big events and you spend a lot of money for your guests to eat good food, have good entertainment, etc. so let them look and feel their best and enjoy the night!
    • Reply
  • R
    Super September 2018
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    What’s the formality of your wedding? Casual dress code or formal wedding? Did they say they’re trying to upstage you? I think you’re overthinking this. I never had my makeup professionally done until my own wedding. But now I think back to some of the weddings he’s stood up in and wish I had so we’d have gotten some of our own non-professional photos taken looking extra nice. 😊


    Also, I recently did my own hair as a guest of a formal wedding and man did I wish I’d went to the salon when many other guests had professional hairstyles. 😜 It rained that day and all my curls turned to beach frizz. 😳
    • Reply
  • Katharine
    Expert July 2021
    Katharine ·
    • Flag

    No one is talking about it fro my wedding, but that's probably because it's no one's business whether someone else gets their make-up/hair done professionally or does it themselves. I find it odd that anyone outside the wedding party is even talking about it. Who cares? Now, if they showed up in white dresses or something that mimics the wedding party looks, THEN you would have reason to be upset. But otherwise, why wouldn't you want your guests to look and feel beautiful too?

    • Reply
  • Karla
    Super February 2020
    Karla ·
    • Flag
    Honestly, my sister-in-law gets her hair and makeup done for every wedding she goes to and I think it’s kinda sweet that she wants to look her best at weddings. Weddings give people a fun excuse to get dressed up!


    Unless she’s wearing a big white dress or a dress similar to your bridesmaids, I doubt she’ll be stealing the bridal party’s spotlight.
    • Reply
  • Becca
    Dedicated July 2020
    Becca ·
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    I guess I should have been a little more detailed with it. This girl is the same age as me and has been in her own competition with me for years. She constantly compares her wedding plans to mine when talking to other people, always tries to outdo whatever I say, and she's getting married 3 months after me. I wouldn't mind I guess what you would call a "regular" guest getting their hair done, I'm honored at the thought that someone wants to make my wedding a special occasion. But she's practically 1 step away from wearing a white dress... She probably **would** except as she's pointed out she can't find any white dresses she likes. Additionally she has stolen quite a few of my ideas during my planning process, causing me to secretly change what I am doing

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  • Becca
    Dedicated July 2020
    Becca ·
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    My wedding is like a step above casual. I've asked people to dress in cocktail attire. It's a 4pm Saturday summer wedding... I didn't think it was anything that needed formal hair and makeup

    • Reply
  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    Someone getting hair and makeup done for your wedding is not them trying to upstage you, its them trying to look their best to honor the significance of your event. People don't spend their own money to get hair and makeup done for things that don't matter. Consider it a compliment, not a contest.

    • Reply
  • Becca
    Dedicated July 2020
    Becca ·
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    That's nuts

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    It is nuts aha But I do think it’s ok for people to get their hair and make up done. However it’s just not if they’re doing it to try to upstage.
    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I wouldn't worry about it. If she's this vicious towards you, I'm not sure why you'd invite her to your wedding? I had plenty of guests at our wedding that looked STUNNING including bridesmaids, pretty sure no one outdid me because I was in the giant veil & long white dress haha. I didn't even consider how good other people looked, I was just so happy to be married and celebrate with our loved ones.

    • Reply
  • Becca
    Dedicated July 2020
    Becca ·
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    I work in a small office and couldnt invite only a portion of the staff. I think I'm going to just be so overwhelmed and swept away with marrying my best friend that I wont even notice her
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