Wedding guest woes

They should have definitely cleared it with you before rsvping. You are still within your right to message them and say that the invite is for her and husband. If that's the case, because a lot of people do not like to travel alone, she may decline entirely.

On the flip side, to me it's a non issue. I would have already budgeted for that seat, and it's not like you are sitting down to dinner being forced to have a meet and greet conversation with them. "thank you for coming, hope you are having a great time" would really just be the extent of it.

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Honestly, I don't think I'll say anything because truly....did I expect her to come to Mexico ALONE? No, of course not, but you're right! Asking me would have made it 100% okay. The cost of the seat isn't an issue for me, it was more so just the lack of care in all of it. We're hoping for 50-60 people (although maximum will have 80, I think) so I was hoping for a more intimate experience.

At the end of the day, I'll let it go. Just wanted to make sure I wasn't wrong for being annoyed lol

Totally understand not wanting to meet somebody for the first time at your wedding. Especially someone that you don’t anticipate having any sort of relationship with in the future. However, like you said, it is a destination wedding, and people don’t like to travel alone. I’m assuming her husband couldn’t make it, and she just didn’t want to travel by herself. And It is protocol to extend plus ones to anyone who is single when you have a destination wedding for that reason - and obviously those people may end up bringing someone you’ve never met as well. So, really, this isn’t much different than that. Destination weddings just come with different rules and expectations, and more of a willingness to be flexible.

P.S. we are also having a destination wedding, and a couple of my guests will likely be bringing someone I have never met also. So I completely get where you’re coming from.

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I appreciate that, and I agree too! I guess I just wished she would've asked, because I certainly would have you know?

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Okay this makes me feel better, it's not just my guests not being considerate- it's actually normal albeit I still think it's rude not to ask

View Quoted Comment I agree. If my spouse and myself had been invited to a wedding, I would never have just invited somebody else without first running it by the couple. However, when I look at it from her point of you, maybe she is thinking “hey, I am a female and traveling alone, which makes me feel unsafe. So I really want to bring someone with me. And what if I ask to bring a travel companion and they say no?” Maybe she is just approaching it with the old adage, it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.

Oh I feel you on this hahaha. The exact same thing happened to me. We invited one of my mom’s long time friends. She sweet, I’ve met her before, and I like her. Her husband didn’t want to come though, so in his place, she said she was bringing her 80-something year old mom…..who none of us have ever met 😶


I’m not sure how many people you’re having, but I can assure that we had about 96 guests come and I did not even have to interact with her once the whole reception. I don’t think I even saw her! 😂 I could not give a description of her to save my life. It was irksome, but in the grand scheme of things I was able to let it go. A wedding of 96 ended up feeling bigger than I thought it would. I’ve seen people say the same about 60-80 guest weddings.

Ugh why do people do this, she was not invited with a guest/plus one her spouse was a named on the invitation. Thats super annoying but good on you for rising above it and not letting it cause drama for you. Vent away here, good luck!

I totally understand not wanting to meet someone at your wedding lol. We’re only having about 50 people and one of my fiancés friends got out of a 5 year relationship a few months ago and she was obviously invited but now he asked if he could bring someone else instead. We said yes but we have no idea who he’ll be coming with. My fiancé trusts him so I’m not too worried. But yeah your relative should’ve checked with you first

I feel like its knit picky to decide someone's plus one. I don't think I would get bothered by that, its not like that day you're going to be mingling with everyone for that long. the day goes by so fast, and it's just a very minor detail that will only drive you crazy when you overthink it. when it reality they're just gonna be spending that time together in each others company at your event.

Your feelings are valid. It’s very common to meet new people at your wedding, family of your new spouse, significant others of relatives you haven’t seen in awhile. But unless you specifically allow a plus one, which is a random stranger, per guest then you will need to contact that guest and let them know the invitation is for her and her spouse, not a random stranger. If you feel that something is a hill to die on, be proactive about resolving it.

Understand the vent totally. If it were me, I'd find it particularly irksome because the guest wasn't even someone you particularly wanted there. I think this is would be easy to let go of though because of the destination wedding aspect. I think in my mind with DW's, the wedding couple need to be more flexible toward the comfort of the guests.

View Quoted Comment I completely second this. Guests should not be adjusting invitations based on who they feel like traveling with. If an invitation states husband and wife, that is the only option. 1, both, or none can show