Wedding guest vs. Shower guest

I have grown up in a HUGE village, as we’ll call it. I was practically raised by my grandparents, and I’m very close to their friends. A LOT of their friends. These older men and women have been huge parts of my life and I want to include them in our wedding celebrations. Many of these men and women my Fiancé has only briefly met even though I’ve maintained a close relationship with them, he has virtually no connection to them.

Here’s the problem... we have a smaller reception area, and our wedding will be outside with a bit of a walk from parking to ceremony. We’re limited on space. I have a VERY large extended family, my fiancé has TWELVE siblings and he’s the youngest so he has a lot of nieces and nephews (some of them close to our age). With my family list at 70 and his at 45, we only have 25 spots left for our friends! (And we have a lot of friends we would like to include!) Our wedding is also over an hours drive from my home town, where they all live.



While we've come to a conclusion on who gets to fill those 25 spots and we have a long B-list of friends just waiting for a “no”. I feel sad that I can’t include these men and women in my special day, and this special time in my life. A month before our wedding will be the 10th anniversary of my grandmas passing and many of these women were my closest connection to her since her passing. Some of them were even groomsmen and bridesmaids in my grandparents wedding almost 60 years ago.

My Matron of Honor suggested having a larger bridal or wedding shower and inviting them to that, part of me loves this idea because I can include these people that are so special to me... but another part of me feels that is kind of rude?

I need help, would you feel it’s appropriate to have a wedding shower and invite these people even though we’ve already decided against inviting them to the wedding?