SORRY FOR THE LONG POST
So I didn't think I would have to make this post because I avoid drama like the plague.... If an issue even comes up I am quick to squash and move on. Unfortunately this just isn't possible for this problem apparently.
I had selected my bridesmaids a couple months ago and allocated my MOH to create a Facebook group chat to have a universal and singular area for everyone to contact at. One of my bridesmaids was my recent roommate. We had our issues as roommates, which is why I decided to move out as soon as our lease was up. She is just kind of a jealous and a bit egotistical is all. However we didn't leave on bad terms by any means. If anything, everything was mutual and understanding, and we were (what is seemed) both excited to plan my wedding. She was very excited when I had asked her to be a bridesmaid. However, life took over, I had lost a job and joined a new one, I moved, I was spending time with my fiance before his next deployment, so we were not in contact a lot from June to now. But I am not in contact with a lot of my bridesmaids (besides the group chat) because, well, life!
Apparently she had been in contact with my MOH because they both are friends and live in the same city now. She had explained to her that she wasn't sure she would be able to be my bridesmaid and keep up with the responsibilities due to her being involved with another wedding and finances. My MOH relayed this to me and other course I was a bit annoyed that she felt the need to speak to my MOH and not me (the bride), but I didn't let it get to me because it was a minor issue to me. I understand when things happen and, like I said, minor issues I address and move on quickly from. So I just told my MOH to tell her that it is completely ok if she doesn't want to be a bridesmaid and just told her to see if there is a way we could remove her from the group chat so our chat doesn't start blowing up her phone every time we decide to communicate. My MOH relayed the info and explained to her to remove herself from the group would be an easier process. That bridesmaid left the group immediately.
Fast forward to today, I didn't think much of that at all since it wasn't even an issue to begin with. I was updating my guest list and realized I hadn't seen much from that ex-bridesmaid for a while on social media. I figured she was too busy with moving so maybe she wasn't posting much. However, when I check Facebook, it looks like she had unfriended me. So I figured maybe we had never been friends on FB but I knew she followed me on Snapchat and Instagram so I checked those platforms. Lo and behold, she also unfriended me on there as well! Now this is a trivial issue I know but I feel like thats a modern sign for 'I don't want to be a part of your life anymore because you did something wrong.' I asked my MOH if she was upset when we had asked her to remove herself from the group chat but she said that the ex-bridesmaid was unbothered from her impression. I know the next best decision would be to try to reach out to her to find out what happened, but that wont get me anywhere. She is the type of person that even if she's confronted with straight facts, will come up with some wild excuse or just completely deny everything.
I hate to be making assumptions of the reasons for her actions but you REALLY get to know someone when you live with them. And let me tell you.... She has just always been a lowkey hateful person towards me. I alway got the impression that she was jealous of the celebrations I was experiencing since we moved it together. For example, when I got my first full time paying job as a medical assistant she replied to my text with "thats cool." Even though she is fully aware of how long and how much work I put into finding the perfect job when I got out of college. However, she was also in the process of trying to find a job or go back to school and I feel like she took it as an insult to her when I did well. I couldn't even talk about my wedding planning or engagement without her interjecting her two cents into every conversation about how amazing and fabulous hers was. Like I don't mind anecdotal stories to help with decisions for the wedding but I didn't ask to be part of a d*** measuring contest.... It just felt like she was still not done being center of attention from when she and her husband got married, that she was upset that the spot light was no longer on her anymore.
So long story I know. I apologize. I just wanted to make sure everything was put into perspective. I also want to know if I am making the right decision by just taking the hint and not inviting her or her husband to wedding. I hate to think of guests as money but with weddings you have to... I just don't want to waste my money on invites and or food/drinks for the wedding if they do not want to even be a part of my life anymore.
