Wedding gifts

Maybe bouquet of flowers and a nice card addressed to both his parents. Or a gift card to their favorite restaurant would also be nice.

Always go with your heart. But if you ask me, I only plan on giving them cards with notes inside. We are also paying for our own wedding. I think it would be different if your parents were paying but with all the financial burdens of a wedding, parents above everyone else should understand. This is YOUR DAY after all

As the MOB, daughter and SIL gave all four parents similar memento-type gifts (handkerchiefs for the moms -- each said something different, and custom cufflinks for the dads (FOBs were much more personalized than FOGs). But, the thing that meant the most to me was that each of them wrote each of us a very personal card. I will treasure those forever....

I don't think you need to go overboard with gifts but maybe you could include a little card to his parents thanking them for their love and support and say that you'll be giving them a framed photo or canvas photo of the wedding when it's done? Simple and inexpensive!

I haven't fully decided, but I think a card the day of and then we will make each set of parents a book of pictures from the wedding. My SIL did that for my parents and they really liked it. My future in-laws are trying to get rid of things in their house so I think something small that won't be too burdensome will be good. My FFIL never wants any gifts for anything lol.

I would say just get them something of similar value/sentiment. It would be wrong to get your parents something sentimental and not his. I would get them both gifts or both cards only.

I think it’s a nice gesture to even if it’s small

I'm definitely getting something for my parents and I told FH that if he wants to get something for his that's up to him. I'm not worried about giving them something of equal value because we aren't going to be presenting them with their gifts publicly so they won't know if there's a disparity and frankly, my parents have always been more supportive both of me as a person and of my relationship than his parents have been of him. If you think it will cause problems because your FMIL is passive aggressive, then you can mention your concern to your FH. But, I don't think it's rude, unless you let his parents know that you got something for your parents (i.e. by gifting it publicly).

I plan on doing cards with handwritten meaningful notes inside the day of the wedding and a framed picture of us from the wedding once we get our pictures back. We are also paying for wedding ourselves. A framed picture is not only cheaper than an album but take up less space = less clutter.

Why not just get both moms a handkerchief and both dads a tie?

I didn't feel right not doing something for our parents. So in the end, I paid for their gifts instead of it being a shared expense. Men don't often think about that kind of thing but I know his mom will appreciate it.

Some people do give parent gifts, but except for giving in them pictures, in an album or framed, after the wedding, there is no tradition of parent gifts. The trend has been to give gifts to anybody and everybody, over the last few years, something promoted by the retail industry. Butwe give our parents gifts on mother's day, father's day, their anniversary, their birthdays, and the appropriate winter religious holiday. Giving a gift wedding day seemed silly and unnecessary. We did write thank you letters, not just notes, for their help. We paid for our wedding. But they were helpful, with advice, lists, and his parents and mine picked up the tab for travel and lodging for a few sibs and cousins who could not have afforded to come otherwise. Which meant we could do the same for our wedding party. We did those thanks along with the thank you for our presents from each one, after the wedding. But no gifts.

View Quoted Comment This is important. As long as you give gifts privately, who else got what does not matter at all, nobody's business.