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Devoted August 2011

Wedding gifts.. would rather guests make a donation to charity

Tricia F., on March 25, 2011 at 11:21 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6

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I know it's one of the "to do's" when having a wedding but I really do not want a wedding registry. I don't need anything and if I did, I would just go and buy it myself. My fiance and I discussed this the other day and we feel much better in giving back to a charity of our choice and having guests do the same instead of receiving gifts. My question is.. how do I make guests aware of this prior to attending our wedding and how do I make the girls attending my bridal shower aware? My sister is hosting the shower and I know she's going to think we're crazy

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6 Comments

Latest activity by aseel, on March 25, 2011 at 3:14 PM

Master October 2009
Analy aka T-waffle · on March 25, 2011 at 11:24 AM
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You can print on your wedding website and your invites something like "Your presence is gift enough, but if you would like to make a contribution in our honor to XXX...."
As far as the shower...If you don't want tangible gifts, you probably should just be having a bridal luncheon. Otherwise, people WILL give gifts, and it would be rude to open cards with contributions in front of other guests.
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Master January 2010
Konichiwa · on March 25, 2011 at 11:27 AM
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You'll want to put the info on your wedding website as well as well as maybe on an insert card to go with your invitation. The best way is going to be word of mouth. Make sure your bridal party and your families all know what you want and they can spread the word.
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Master January 2010
Konichiwa · on March 25, 2011 at 11:32 AM
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Oh and originally I didn't want a registry either, but I had this convo with my mother:
Mom: Do you remember those blankets we had when you were younger?
Me: You mean those gawd-awful puke green ones with gold flowers? How could I forget?
Mom: That's what you get when you don't have a registry.

She went on to tell me that there will be some people who regardless of what you say, will not feel right showing up empty handed. So they will go to the store and get you something, ANYTHING, so they have a gift. So that you don't end up with something you don't want, don't need, or just flat don't like, she recommended having a small registry somewhere.
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Devoted August 2011
Tricia F. · on March 25, 2011 at 11:33 AM
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@bella b. - thanks

@analy - I love the wording and will definitely be including it with our invites. I don't have a wedding website so hopefully the invitations will be enough.

@Konichiwa - I agree, best way to get the info out will be word of mouth.
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Devoted August 2011
Tricia F. · on March 25, 2011 at 11:35 AM
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@Konichiwa - LOL My FH said that there will be people who will insist on giving US a gift which I'm sure will be our parents, aunts & uncles, and grandparents so we'll just have to accept them graciously.
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VIP July 2010
Ryan · on March 25, 2011 at 2:40 PM
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We tried really hard to ensure that people knew we didn't want or need anything for the wedding (combining two households meant getting rid of stuff anyway), and we got only a few actual gifts, as well as quite a few monetary gifts, which were greatly appreciated, though unexpected.

I think about ten people donated to the charity we recommended, and about half the remaining guests donated to charities in our name, and one family gave us a big set of cookie cutters and a sugar cookie recipe
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