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Erica
Dedicated November 2019

Wedding gift helpppp

Erica, on October 21, 2019 at 4:40 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 8
We didn’t mention gifts on our wedding invitations but on our wedding website we explained that we already have a lovely home and there’s not many items we don’t already own, that if they’d like to give us a gift donations to a honeymoon would be really nice...

so now I have people messaging me about if I have a registry (which I don’t) and I feel kind of embarrassed mentioning if they can do a monetary gift instead. What’s the most polite way to go about this?

8 Comments

Latest activity by MOB So Cal, on October 21, 2019 at 9:33 PM
  • Destiny
    VIP May 2020
    Destiny ·
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    Most ppl will get the hint when you tell them you dont have a registry, you always make a honeymoon registry though
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  • Erica
    Dedicated November 2019
    Erica ·
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    So I didn’t make a honeymoon registry because I saw that most of the places charge a fee 😭
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    "No, we don't have a registry."

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    If someone asks what you would like, it's absolutely fine to say, "We didn't create a registry but we are saving for X." I wouldn't broadcast that to people who don't ask, but on request, it's completely fine and polite.

    I wouldn't use the word donation in any way referring to your wedding though. Donations are for charities, not private parties. Can you edit that out of your website?

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  • L
    Lady ·
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    I would go with what Maggie said. "No we don't have a registry, but we're saving for a nice honeymoon!" (or house, or whatever). Not awkward or rude at all.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would say "no, we don't have a registry" and leave it at that. People will get the hint.

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  • Madeline
    Beginner September 2019
    Madeline ·
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    We didn’t have a registry either for the same reason. Some asked about a registry and we let them know we didn’t have one. The ones that noticed there was no registry on the invitation got the hint. Majority of our guests gifted us money while only about 5 gave us gifts.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
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    At best, I agree with pp's that your response can be, "we aren't registered," and leave it at that. No matter what couples want, some guests will be opposed to giving cash, and in many circles, directly asking for cash is considered rude. Maybe not in your crowd, but it sounds like you're uncertain about how your request might be received. Personally, I don't think there is a polite way to say, "We want money," so I'd try to avoid the conversation. Daughter had a pretty substantial registry, most of which was purchased for the shower. Some of the younger guests bought kind of random physical gifts, but most of the guests 35-90 years old gave (often VERY generous) cash gifts without being asked/told.

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