K
Just Said Yes September 2018

Wedding Gift Cash Only

Kenya, on March 1, 2018 at 2:48 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice
Hello,
My and my fiancee already have a lot of gifts from our housewarming last year. So this year for the wedding we are asking for monetary gifts only. It's going to help with a renovation project we want. Do you think it's rude to ask for money and how do I say that I a polite way..no registry help us get remodel our home cash only gifts????? Help
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20 Comments

  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·

    Just dont register and they will get the hint. I didnt register and got 100% cash/checks. Do not say anything, its rude.

  • 2d Bride
    Master October 2009
    2d Bride ·

    Yes, it's rude to ask for money. Just don't register, and people will get the idea.

  • An
    Super September 2019
    An ·

    Yes it's rude to ask for cash. I would make a small registry (a must if you are having a bridal shower) so that Aunt Sue that refuses to give cash for a wedding will have something to get you that you actually want/need, but you will still receive mostly cash from others.

  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Kenya ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Yea I was thinking it's rude. Thanks for the help.
  • Pegs
    VIP July 2018
    Pegs ·

    Yeah, it's ok to skip any message or announcement... people will know

  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Kenya ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Lol. I actually have an Aunt Sue. And I know she wants too get me a fancy new microwave. She's hinted to it at other family functions.
  • An
    Super September 2019
    An ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Lol what a coincidence. My mom's jaw hit the floor when I told her I was giving my cousin cash as a wedding gift. She was utterly appalled.
  • M
    Dedicated September 2018
    Michelle ·

    You could also register for items needed for your renovation at Home Depot or another home repair store!

  • MrsBdeG
    Master August 2017
    MrsBdeG ·
    You can do a small registry of upgrades and nothing else. It's very rude to ask for cash.
  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Kenya ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Good idea too. Thanks
  • Bailey
    Super March 2019
    Bailey ·
    We are registering at Menards!
  • O
    Master October 2017
    O ·
    No one asked if we had made a registry, so we were surprised our guests gave us cash or gift cards. The best way would be to only mention a preference of gift if you're asked.
  • happeningmom ·

    For your registry you could add items for your renovations that way if people can't find something to get you on there, be it paint, plywood, etc then they will just give you cash

  • Melanie
    Devoted March 2018
    Melanie ·
    I registered at Zola where you can create funds for specific things and multiple people can give. So you could create a Kitchen Remodel fund and ask people to contribute to that and then create other funds for other projects. You could also mix in some small gifts with it if you want. For the funds, people can give any amount they want and it turns into cash for you. You can decide if they pay the processing fee or you can pay it. You can also hide the total amount or you can set a goal and show how close you are to the goal.

    Honestly, most people want to make you happy and give you something you want (and if they don’t...). I don’t think it’s rude at all to ask for what you really need rather than registering for a bunch of BS you don’t want or need. We have had so many people ask if they should buy something on our registry or if we would just prefer money... we take the money every time.

    also, it’s a gift... it’s not a requirement. If people don’t want to give you things off your registry they don’t have to, nor are they required to buy anything at all... so your better off asking for what you want/need.
  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
    Also consider no registry generally means no shower. Which is fine but if someone offers you would need to decline because there would be nothing for people to bring.
  • joey
    Expert October 2019
    joey ·

    I don't know where these rules come from but it's up to the person to decide how they want to handle asking for monetary gifts only. I'm going to a wedding in 2 week where the bride put on her STD cards "No gifts. Cash or gift cards only" and then she put "no children!!!". Talk about straight to the point. While others might find this rude or brash, I know the couple so I wasn't offended because that's their personality. They're just straight shooters, no nonsense kind of folks - so me and my fiance were fine with her approach.

    I also do not want any gifts because we're an older couple and we have everything we need. We have given away duplicate items, I have stuff in storage.....so we definitely don't need any gifts. I put this verbiage on my wedding website under the Registry link:

    "If you have decided to bless our union, we thank you so much in advance for your thoughtfulness and support of our marriage. As a mature couple we have all items we need for our home, however if you feel that God has moved your spirit to bless us - a card and monetary gift of your choice will be fitting in this instance and of course greatly appreciated. Thank you for your support, love and kindness".

    "If it is more convenient for you to submit your gift on-line, feel free to use the button below."

    I created a graphic button that says "Wedding Gift" that is linked to my paypal account. I know some of his single male friends will be glad to submit their gift on-line as well as a few of his clients who are out of state but want to give us a gift.


  • M
    Super October 2018
    MaltedMilk ·

    Please don't ask for cash. It is tacky to even mention gifts at all, especially on an invite. I have seen so many cringy poems - please don't let anyone tell you it is a good idea.

    Don't make a payal account, don't make a honeyfund account, just don't.

  • joey
    Expert October 2019
    joey ·

    As a bride it is up to you to decided how to handle things. You have to know your friends and your family members. Everybodies 'culture' is not the same. There are many sub-cultures within western culture. I wish folks would refrain from trying to put some sort of 'standardized' one-size-fits-all cultural norm on other people.

    In my opinion, more brides should take control of their event and not let the media, so-called wedding industry experts and planners tell them what they can and can not do at their own wedding. You should know what is acceptable and palatable for your guests, not someone else's guests - YOUR guests. There is no right or wrong only what you feel comfortable communicating to your guests.

    If you feel they would want plain and straight forward instructions as to what kind of gifts would be acceptable to you and your fiancé, communicate that - why leave folks guesting. People in this society lead very busy lives. You may not want to assume they will bring a card and a monetary gift if you don't list a registry on your wedding website. I'm perfectly okay with letting my guests know what is an acceptable gift for us so there is no confusion or additional questions. Do what works for you.

  • K
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Kenya ·
    View Quoted Comment
    thank you. Insightful and helpful
  • joey
    Expert October 2019
    joey ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I'm going to a wedding in two weeks and the bride asked for monetary gifts only. When I told my fiance he was like, 'okay how much do you want to give?' I said how about $200. We agreed and that was that. End of story.

    He did not go on and on about how rude it was to ask for a monetary gift, none of that. See men are logically and straight forward they don't have time for all this circular, emotionally thinking about how something would be perceive or how it sounds or might sounds to other. He did not blink an eye when I told him that. He was like 'okay cool, how much should we give as a gift'. We decided pretty quickly and that matter was settled. I got the card and now we're looking forward to a nice event in two week. Done.

    So don't second guess yourself, do what works for YOU. I gave you an example of what I'm using on my website in terms of asking guest for a monetary gift only. You can cut and paste and modify as it suits your circumstances/guests.

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