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Samantha
Expert October 2022

Wedding for second marriage

Samantha, on December 10, 2020 at 3:45 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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It's my first post so I may be replicating someone else's post, sorry!

I'm 51, my FH is 61. We plan on getting married in fall of 2022 so that the covid is well and truly over.

I feel kind of ... silly...for wanting a wedding. My previous one was courthouse, it lasted 20 years and I got two great kids from it, no regrets!

I told him I felt like people would think we were silly and he pointed out (truthfully!) that anyone who loves us will be happy and anyone who would mock us won't be invited anyway.

What are some elements you've seen that make a second wedding classy and fun, and not tacky?

I'm wearing a tea length 1950s style dress, he's wearing a gray suit.

15 Comments

Latest activity by Meaghan, on December 14, 2020 at 1:25 PM
  • Chrysta
    Rockstar November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    To be completely honest, I wouldn’t worry about the opinion of others. Your age and the fact that this is not your first wedding holds no bearing on the fact that you are entering into a new marriage with a new loving partner; and there is nothing you do or do not need to do in order for your wedding to be “”acceptable”. I think you should have your dream wedding, whatever that looks like to you. Live it up, and don’t hold back! 😀
    • Reply
  • A
    Devoted June 2021
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I agree with Chrysta! I love your dress idea too! I've seen some really beautiful ways to incorporate children into a wedding ceremony....perhaps that could be an aspect that really sets it apart and makes it even more special? I think you will have a beautiful wedding once it's safe again....people will be practically chomping at the bit to celebrate!

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Expert October 2022
    Samantha Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    We each have two grown children, so they will be our wedding party!

    • Reply
  • Jasmine
    Rockstar January 2022
    Jasmine ·
    • Flag

    I think it's beautiful! I agree with Chrysta. Don't let anyone make you feel silly because you're not. This will be my second marriage but first wedding. My first one was a courthouse as well and I thank my lucky stars that it was because that was a less than ok relationship. Whatever you decide to do for your wedding, you do it with all the love and support of those around you.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    VIP October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    By getting married you are having a wedding. They can be as simple or elaborate as you wish, no rules. Most people getting married twice (or more) go all out while others keep it simple with cake, punch and mingling with guests.


    Do what makes you happy as long as your guests don't have to open their wallets at any time.
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    Just because it's your second marriage won't make the wedding tacky. Girl enjoy your wedding and if people have a problem with it then don't invite them 🤷🏾‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Super August 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    Good for you Samantha - every bride deserves a wedding and I have been to many second time weddings with pleasure! My aunt had a beautiful wedding in her 50s (second marriage) on the beach. She wore a simple yet beautiful white dress and he wore a beach shirt (classy white). Reception followed with dinner, cake cutting and a live band. Simple, elegant and good times ❤️
    • Reply
  • CountryBride
    Expert April 2022
    CountryBride ·
    • Flag

    I am on my 2nd marriage first one I was 18 it was a backyard wedding, Big mistake my fiance and I are having a full blown wedding because that's what we want

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Expert October 2022
    Samantha Online ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh no one wi be spending money on us. I plan to pay for gas, hotel, etc. for few friends from out of town who are struggling financially. I wouldn’t want anyone to spend money!
    • Reply
  • L
    Beginner April 2021
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    This will also my my second marriage, but first wedding. Did the courthouse at age 18. I'm excited to have a wedding and don't care what anyone else thinks. Do what makes you happy. We are doing a food truck caterer and filling a big canoe with all the beer. We want it to be something fun for all.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. Spring
    Master April 2021
    Mrs. Spring ·
    • Flag
    Huh?! Never heard such a thing of people making fun of a wedding for second time-ers.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    You’re fabulous & you’re going to rock that dress! I’m in the same boat as you. This is my 3rd marriage (1st 1 married too young & 2nd 1 he turned very abusive right after we married) & his 1st- I’ll be 51, he’ll be 49 when we marry in April. At first I didn’t want a big wedding & tried to convince him to get married before a cruise & use the cruise as our honeymoon. He doesn’t want that & secretly I’m glad he doesn’t! I’ve never had a wedding with all the trimmings (both were courthouse), never had a dress, never had my dad walk me down the aisle. I’m doing all those things & we’re going to Jamaica for our honeymoon! His son will be 1 of our groomsmen (he still needs to pick 2 others), my sister is my MOH, my daughter is a bridesmaid & a close friend will be my other bridesmaid. My dress is ivory with a thin gray lace lining & his suit will be charcoal. I’m happy & excited to be marrying him. We’ve been through so much & were apart for 6 yrs as we had some serious growing up to do. We’re great together now!
    Don’t worry about what others are thinking! This is your wedding!
    • Reply
  • Miya
    Dedicated August 2021
    Miya ·
    • Flag
    This is my 2nd marriage and the first was courthouse too. Both of us came from relationships where we had enough. We decided to just have fun with it. Our personalities are more the style of our wedding. He’s wearing mauve-ish pink pants and a blue jacket and I’m wearing a high-low dress in a matching (very light) shade similar to his pants. Ours is more having fun with life and celebrating the fun we have.
    • Reply
  • Florida Marlins
    Expert October 2017
    Florida Marlins ·
    • Flag

    I had a second wedding at age 52 (first time for my groom, also age 52) and my first wedding was a church wedding, dancing, etc. back in the early 90's. Nothing super huge but you get the idea. Our second wedding was an afternoon affair followed by a lunch, no dancing. Your first wedding was still a wedding and you can still have what you want this time. I never felt I should not celebrate a second time because my first was a "traditional" wedding.

    I wore a white lace dress - who cares - I liked it. (It was a bridesmaid/formal dress from Amazon) - we had toasts but it was still a casual vibe.

    My advice? Do what you want!!! People LOVE that people get married again in life and want to celebrate it!!! We went to three weddings last year and in two of them the couples ages were 40 and 54 and the second? 65 and 79 - so YOU GO GIRL!!!! Best wishes!!!!

    • Reply
  • Meaghan
    Savvy July 2022
    Meaghan ·
    • Flag

    Hi! Second time bride here too! We are both 51 with 2 kids each (young adults and teens). We are having a 50 person wedding in July. Its much more of a ceremony joining our two families than just for us. Our kids all get along great. If it was just the two of us I would probably do a small courthouse thing just to get on his excellent health insurance. But we want to celebrate becoming a new family and the creation of not just our officially relationship but of the new sibling relationships. We will be doing a Sand Ceremony and the readings will be more about family than "true love"

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