Wedding etiquette

You are required to financially cover whatever you feel comfortable spending. The only people who have obligation to pay for anything for the wedding are the couple getting married. Any monetary assistance you provide is a generous gift, and you set the parameters of how much you are willing to put forth.

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We've set a budget that we're comfortable contributing, but she's now asking us to cover not only the accommodation for 40 guests but also all meals for the entire four-day event. This seems overwhelming and excessive to me.

Whenever I try to discuss this with her, she becomes upset and shifts the blame We want to help, but we also want to set reasonable boundaries. If covering meal expenses for all guests is traditional etiquette, we are willing to do so. However, I'm concerned that this might be excessive. I want to support her special day while also setting reasonable boundaries. We've already discussed our financial limit, and I believe it's important to clarify what falls under our obligation versus what might be considered optional.

Ideally, I'd like her to consider using any extra funds towards their honeymoon or other long-term investments.

View Quoted Comment I mean, destination weddings aren’t traditional in and of themselves. Also, the tradition of the bride’s parents paying for the wedding is from when people got married very young and had no finances of their own. If you set a budget, then you set a budget. Paying for all the meals for guests for the entire weekend is not your responsibility. If your daughter is acting entitled and demanding more, you need to be firm with what you’re offering. If she wants more, her options are paying for it herself or adjusting her plans to make it fit in the budget you’ve provided. In 2024, the traditional etiquette is that couples expect to pay for their entire wedding themselves and graciously accept any financial assistance from family if offered without demanding more.


With all due respect, your daughter is sounding a bit entitled and needs to be reminded that gifts are gifts and are up to the giver to decide.

There is no "traditional etiquette", you're not obligated to pay for weddings. In my opinion, that's a ridiculous ask on her part.

Also no is a complete sentence. I would stick with your boundaries and what you're comfortable with.

Also I would double check with airbnb that your venue will allow weddings. I thought they had said that wasn't allowed anymore. Just maybe doublecheck on that.

No, it is definitely not traditional for the bride’s parents to pay for guest accommodations. It is well-known that guests will pay for their own travel and accommodations at a destination wedding. Sometimes the couple will offer to pay those expenses for their guests, but it is not necessary or counted on. And it is the couple that pays for it – not the couples parents.

We are having a destination wedding and my dad initially offered to pay for the venue (we're staying and getting married at an large Airbnb), BUT he ended up paying for my dress instead. Mind you, my fiancé and I were not expecting anyone to contribute anything towards the wedding so we are EXTREMELY grateful for any monetary contributions. Your daughter is sounding extremely entitled. You have offered what you can afford and if that doesn't work for her, I would retract my offer.

I have been to many destination weddings and never had my accommodations and meals covered by the brides parents. The only meal covered was the wedding dinner and if there was like a welcome party or after wedding brunch. But those expenses are the couples responsibility not the parents. If you are generous enough to pay for a portion of the wedding that is incredibly kind of you and it should be received with gratitude not further demands. If I was you I d give a very specific number you are comfortable covering and not budge from that. And if her response is to be ungrateful I d rescind the offer. You are not required to pay for any of it. I d be very upset if my child was acting in such a manner so I m sorry you are being treated in such a way and hope the couple realizes what a kind gift you have offered them. Best of luck to you!

LOL, there is nothing “traditional” about a fully independent couple expecting anything at all much less a venue and meals at a destination wedding event spanning four days.
“Traditionally” such a couple would be on their own and also responsible for providing or paying for their wedding party’s accommodations.