Wedding Etiquette Save-the-dates and Invitations

Be up front and honest. You can still have the whole thing, but it would be a vow renewal. Most people will understand, especially given the circumstances. You are not the only couple to be doing this. If you are planning to send out change of date announcements you can include a line saying, "Due to COVID, we made the decision to postpone our original wedding. We will be officially wed in a private ceremony on x date, but we look forward to sharing our commitment with the rest of our family and friends on y date." Or something like that.

If you get married now and have everything for the guests next, be honest by calling it a vow renewal. Most people are understanding with the plague going on that is affecting life in general. Send an announcement saying you were legally married on (date) and want them to join you on (date) for a renewal of vows with dinner reception. Then send out invites 6-8 weeks prior to your new date. The announcements act as save the dates for your renewal.

We're sending a "change the date" card I made on Zazzle (one that looks like a save the date so you can just stick it on your fridge with our old one haha), and on the back it has details about our new date and mentions that we are still getting legally married in a private ceremony this year. We're still going to have a "ceremony" next year before the big reception but it'll probably just be a vow renewal.

I agree with the "change the dates" idea! They get the point across easily and formally, a lot like a save the date. This weekend may be good to order since a lot of sites are doing Memorial Day sales!

We're sending magnets* that say, "let's try this again," and the new date along with notes that say something like this:

Hello! Based on the last piece of mail you received from us, you may have been expecting this envelope to contain a wedding invitation. In fact, that’s what we were planning to send around this time. Unfortunately, things have not exactly gone as planned over the last few months. We are still planning to get married this year, but we don’t want you or anyone else we care about to get sick. Given the risks involved in bringing large groups of people together this summer, we've decided to postpone our festivities to 2021. We look forward to celebrating our wedding with you next year, when it’s safer to gather in person.

Whatever you send this year, try to be clear about what's happening on the invitations you send next year.

*Check with whoever printed your save the date magnets to see if they'll give you a credit for your original order. We used Shutterfly for ours and we only have to pay for shipping this time.

Thanks so much everyone for all your responses to my questions! This is extremely helpful.

We used minted for our wedding stationery for this year's date, so we'll probably use them again for our new date. Magnets are awesome!

I was supposed to have the same wedding date! We are going to get married on that date this year in an intimate 10-15 person ceremony, and we rescheduled our bigger ceremony/reception to next July. We knew we wanted to get married no matter what, so it was “easy” for us to make that decision (and I use the word easy VERY lightly, as this was one tough decision overall). I contemplated keeping it a secret, but when my fiancé reminded me of all of the logistics (different legal name, rings, titles, etc), I knew that wasn’t a secret we could easily keep! So we told everyone that we would still get married this year, though the celebration will be next year. I honestly feared that people would see it as less important since we will legally be married, but I’ve been overwhelmed by the love and support we’ve received. I truly think this is an “anything goes” scenario, and you just have to do what feels right to you. Good luck, date twin!

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Hi date twin,

We changed our wedding date to July 24th, 2021! It was an extremely difficult decision for us, too. However, I feel like I made the best decision in terms of keeping everyone safe.

What my fiance and I decided to do is keep our options open and ordered postcards informing our guests of our new date. Then as our new date draws closer, I am planning on sending out new save-the-date magnets informing our guests a little more detailed information about the day.

Our weddings are going to be epic no matter!

Good luck to you, too!

P.S. - My family and friends are extremely supportive! All that matters to them is they want to see me in my dress and see some sort of ceremony, whether it be the real one or vow renewal.

View Quoted Comment I’m so glad you’re well supported, too! At the end of the day, that helps so much! Everyone has told us that they’ll be even more excited to celebrate next year. Best of luck to you and your fiancé. Wishing you nothing but love and happiness!

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Thank you, Megan! I wish you the best for you and your future hubby as well. I know that we will all get through this together and come out stronger and loving more deeply!