Wedding Dress Shopping Anxiety

I knew from prom dress shopping that a shaped dresses look good on me but I would have pictures on your phone of the styles you like and make an appointment and talk to the specialist. Ask what they think might look good. If it helps make an appointment or just walk in and talk to them without any friends or family there and then invite friends and family to a later appointment. Make sure the people you bring with you (when your ready to have them there) are going to be supportive. Hope this helps.

One thing you could do is schedule an appointment and go dress shopping by yourself (at least for the first store or two), just so you can spend time figuring out what styles you like and to feel comfortable trying on the dresses. Definitely try on all different dress styles! You probably won't like them all (and that is OK! There were many dresses I didn't like on myself), but it'll help you narrow it down to which ones you do like. Then, once you figure out which styles are your favorites, schedule additional appointments and bring people with you to those!

I would suggest maybe going with a close friend or on your own to try on some shapes to see what you like. Then when you go with family/friends you can know exactly what styles you like on yourself and what to look for. Also, just communicate with your stylist. I know it can be tough, but they have had people who have issues in the past and will probably have good suggestions on what direction to take!

I am overweight and struggled with my body image my whole life so I totally understand where you're coming from. I was worried about not only finding a dress that looked good on me but that I loved and felt beautiful and confident in. I'm also hourglass shaped. I found A-line dress were the most flattering for me. I went to Davd's Bridal first. They have samples on plus size, which right off the bat, made me feel better and you get a much better idea of how it will look on you i. the right size. I found a dress that looked great on me, made me feel beautiful and confident and I absolutely loved. I actually found a few that looked good on me, which I wasn't expecting.


My advice to you, first and foremost is to get out of your own head. This is key!! You are beautiful. Your fiance loves you just as you are. When you're looking at yourself in theses dresses and the negative comments start forming in your head kick them out! Talk to yourself they way you would talk to your best friend.
Another very important thing to remember is every dress, cut, style, etc are made for different body types. What looks good on you may not look good on someone else for a reason. The problem isn't your body! That dress wasn't made for you, that's it.
Call the salon to see if they have plus size samples.
Ask your consultant what they think will good on you and keep an opened mind. You never know until you try it on. Trust me. Some will not be good but some will surprise you.
Ask your entourage to be constructive in their assessment of the dresses and not mean. Makes a world of difference! And keep your entourage small and only those you know will be loving and supportive. Don't worry about people that will feel left out. They can come to your alterations appointment if you want.
Don't get discouraged or give up!
Enjoy the process for what it is...a step towards you marrying the love of your life!!
Good luck!! You will find the perfect dress for you!! I honestly have never felt more beautiful (and thinner) than I did on my wedding day.

My suggestion would be to go into a smaller shop (not a big chain bridal store) so you know your appointment is more one on one with not a ton of other people in the store. Maybe have an idea of what you like or don't like (ex: lace vs beading, or that you definitely want straps not strapless, or that you like a ballgown not mermaid, etc.). Let the stylist guide you in what she thinks might suit your body!!! They are amazing at finding the perfect dress. And sometimes it's the one you least expect. And trust me, the women that work in bridal salons are incredible, they will NOT judge you, they'll find something to make you feel beautiful and comfortable and they'll work with your vision.

I would suggest making an appointment and going dress shopping by yourself. You are already anxious, and don’t need the added pressure of other peoples’ opinions or trying to hold back feelings/emotions for them. Bridal consultants are easy to work with and non-judgemental. They work with brides of all sizes all day every day, and they don’t care what size you wear, or how much back fat you have 😆 Their only concern is finding a dress that you will feel beautiful in. You can be completely honest with them, make requests, or have a complete meltdown in the dressing room - girl, they’ve seen it all! So I would suggest making an appointment just for yourself to try on dresses and get an idea of what styles you like on your figure. Wear a nude strapless bra, and if you feel more confident in shapewear, wear that too! You don’t have to dress up for your appointment, but I would definitely suggest doing your hair and makeup. I discovered very early on that it made a huge difference when looking at yourself in the mirror! Pull any dress that speaks to you, and also let your consultant pick some. Be open to trying on all different shapes/styles - you might be surprised which you end up liking! And don’t get discouraged if you don’t love anything on your first trip. Seeing yourself in a wedding dress is kind of weird and take some getting used to.

Don’t bring A N Y O N E who will make you feel anything other than amazing. If your worried about FMIL, DO NOT BRING HER. I didn’t even bring my besties who are supportive wonderful people because I knew *i* might feel a bit of self consciousness around them just because it’s a vulnerable time! I made plans to go with only my mom bc I knew she’d be the support that I needed but what ultimately ended up happening is I went to my first appointment alone and I LOVED it. There were some dresses I loved at BHLDN but they only had appointments when my mom wasn’t available, so I went ahead and grabbed one. The consultant was so lovely and supportive and not at all pushy (she actually said after hearing it was my first appointment that even if I fell in love with a dress that day , I shouldn’t buy it that day!) and she somehow hyped me up so well and made every dress look great even if the fit was way off. It was really everything I needed ! I felt so prepared for my next days of shopping (which included a pretty negative experience at David’s bridal with a very pushy consultant !) — so, I’d also recommend to start somewhere smaller and well reviewed so that you can get the individual attention and support you need.
Oh! One other thing was my bhldn apptment was an early, daytime /midweek appointment . Try for that if you can ! So you don’t get caught up in a busy shopping day (maybe this is different with covid stuff now , but everywhere I went on weekends was a little more overwhelming due to crowds .

Oh! And don’t feel like you need to know what you want or what looks good on you! Helping you with that is part of your consultant’s job! I actually had a pretty good idea of what I wanted but my stylist still pulled a couple different silhouettes for me to try to make sure. The more I tried on the more I was able to isolate all the small details of what I liked and disliked so by my last appointment I was able to be pretty specific about what I was looking for! Even then, all of the dresses she pulled were so different from one another and some I loved and some I hated haha, but by then I had the confidence to just move past the bad ones!

View Quoted Comment Second this!


Smaller boutiques are less intimidating and it’s more private/intimate. If you’re too nervous to go on your own, bring 1 or 2 people you trust.

P.S. You can always go do virtual appointments first as a trial at some wedding dress boutiques. This way - you can talk to dress consultants who can give you tips prior to walking into the stores themselves! Let them know what you’re comfortable wearing and what materials you’re most attracted to.