I am getting married in ten days! My wedding dress journey has been a disaster. I had my dream dress, and bought it on a sample sale. It was a little too small, and ultimately, could not be altered to fit. My seamstress said she could remake the dress for me (from different fabric), and said it would take a few days. She took my measurements and got the fabric in February. On April 30, I went to try on the dress and it was unfinished (no lining, needed to be hemmed and taken in, no zippers, no finished edges, the sleeves needed to be taken off and back on, and a completely wrong neckline... Just not finished). I asked her last week if it would be done by today, thinking ten days before the wedding was a reasonable timeline to pick up the dress. She got offended and told me it would be ready when it is ready, but she wouldn't miss the wedding. She has not been communicative through the whole process, and I have not heard back since. I have no idea what state the dress is in. She has been consistently rude and hard to work with throughout the process (doesn't listen to my ideas, thinks she knows better than me on what I want, says rude things, will only do something after my mother asks), so this kind of broke me.
I ordered a dress from Amazon that is very different from my original dress, but it is one I love. But now I don't know what to do if she DOES finish the dress. Do I wear hers, and look back at my wedding reminded of the painful and anxiety-ridden process of working with her? Is it worth the anxiety of waiting for a call days before the wedding? It's closer to my original dress, but it also isn't nearly as nice and kind of just feels like the shell of what I once had. Or should I wear this new dress? How should I tell her? Or should I just pretend to play along (we have to pay her anyway, since she's worked on it) and just take the dress when she finishes it and not wear it? It'll be about $300, and I feel bad about wasting that much money, but is that worth it? Help! Pictures for reference: First dress (no bouquet) is the dress she's recreating (with different, smaller design lace). Second picture (with bouquet) is the Amazon dress, and it does look like the pictures
I would decide depending on which dress you feel most beautiful in when you receive them. If you get your custom dress in time and you try it on and love it just wear it! Looking back you might remember all the trouble you had to get there, but if you love how the dress looks on you I doubt that will really matter. If the Amazon dress makes you look/feel better, wear that one!
Nothing comes "easy" - And when you're having something custom made I'm sure it's even more difficult. But for a moment take your seamstress into mind. I'm sure this Covid stuff hasn't been easy on her and maybe she is having a difficult time too. I'm sure her harshness is not directed directly at you but perhaps a situation out of hers and your control.
Now, when the dress she is making for you is finished and you've tried it on and hopefully as beautiful as you wanted it, you're NOT going to think about the difficulty in having it made, you're either going to feel completely in-love with the dress because it's what you wanted or not. And if the Amazon dress is something you love too, then you'll be happy either way.
When the wedding is done and over... you're not going to look back at the struggles it was to get ready for it, you're ONLY going to be thinking about the day itself and walking down the aisle to the person you love and you'll remember that feeling you felt looking at the one you're going to marry and the way they are looking at you. Everything else about your wedding will likely just be a blur.
Have faith in your seamstress - it will all work out.
I agree with what others have already said; you'll know when you have them both.
That being said...your seamstress makes me feel stressed just reading about her! She must know how important a wedding gown is to a bride! cutting it so close to the wedding is not a good thing. It's a big red flag to me that she has not been more communicative. I really think her lack of communication equals a problem with the dress,
Last, it's your wedding, and your opinion is what matters...don't feel like you have to wear the first dress if it's ready on time...you do not need to worry about the seamstresses feelings. She's getting paid regardless.
You were very wise to buy the back up dress...I think it's beautiful.
Wow, so sorry this has been so crazy for you. youre obviously much more patient and forgiving than i am. i personally would say screw paying her and ghost her considering thats what she did to you because then you wouldnt have to deal with her or pay her for not doing her job. however, since i am petty and you know you want to pay her, maybe wait to decide which dress to wear depending on which you like the most. i say you definitely made a good decision by ordering a second dress to have a plan b if things fall through. i wouldnt worry about looking back and being reminded of a painful experience, even though her lack of communication is definitely an issue as the wedding dress is the biggest part of the day, because im sure you will forget about it after your big day, so i would make the decision based strictly upon how you look and feel in each dress. i think they are both beautiful and you will look great regardless. dont feel obligated to do anything. try not to stress, your big day is approaching quickly. everything will work itself out. good luck!!!
Whoops - just noticed this discussion was posted a while ago. what was the outcome? do you have photos of how everything turned out? i personally love the second dress, id love to see a photo of it on!
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I ended up using the second dress, we found someone to fix the sleeves! the first dress was done three days before the wedding, but it wasn't the correct shape (or really what I wanted). Here's how the second one turned out!