Wedding dress alterations advice please

Unless you have a good amount of sewing experience I wouldn't take this on yourselves. Removing the lace would take away all the structure at the top of the dress, and it would be a big undertaking. I don't know what area you are in, but in my area this would easily be 800+ in alterations, especially when you account for needing to basically buy a whole new top for the dress. Maybe your area is less expensive? Either way, I would suggest setting up an appointment with a seamstress and bringing up your concerns, be upfront that you are looking for a quote to decide if you should keep this or call it a loss and move on.

Although the lace looks 'easy to separate' the whole back would be thrown off. Those buttons on the actual satin part of the gown would either need to be taken off as well, or save the buttons from the lace top and resew them --- including the loops -- back on to the new topper. I can't tell if the sash part by your waist is easily removed/moved, but I think that is where a lot of your unhappiness with the fit comes in. I really love this gown on you - the top is truly stunning and it sure makes you look amazing. Again, I think a lot of the fit issues is with that satin band around your middle. I would talk to a seamstress and get her opinion -- I would NOT recommend you attempt any alterations yourself unless you or mom have years of experience. Best of luck, and keep us posted as to your solution!

I think you look lovely in it, and maybe you could get a shawl or lace jacket. Otherwise, all you can do is call some seamstresses for advice. I undertook some minor alterations myself on my dress with the understanding that I might ruin it lol (all worked out fine), so if you're comfortable with that risk, give it a go! You can always get something else if it fails but at least you know you tried.