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Ashleyt
Just Said Yes June 2021

Wedding dress advice

Ashleyt, on October 17, 2020 at 2:34 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 9
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Let me start off by saying I’m an indecisive person by nature. It’s my biggest flaw. I know it and my fiancé does too! I knew it was going to be hard on me going wedding dress shopping, because I always second guess myself or want to make changes after I do or buy something. My fiancé and I had a conversation about this after I booked the appointment and how I probably wouldn’t be saying yes to the dress that same day because I am so indecisive.


Skip forward to my wedding dress appointment. It was very different from what I was expecting. I had no idea what I wanted or the style I was interested in. I knew I wanted something with lace, but beyond that everything was foreign to me. I had high anxiety going in knowing this was going to be hard decision for me to make, but also not knowing what I wanted was hard. I didn’t come prepared, which I now regret. I didn’t look at wedding dresses beforehand, not even the ones the place I was shopping at posted on their Facebook or Instagram account. They even asked if I had any pictures to show them for inspiration. Normally, I’m more to related but I planned on coming into this with an open mind, so they didn’t pull just that one style. I was worried they would only show me that style I said I liked based on a picture, but something else might have been better and I didn’t get the chance to try it.
Well, they had pulled some beforehand based on a questionnaire. I tried one on and had to tell them what I liked and didn’t like about it. From there they would pull others based on what I was liking. The 7th or 8th dress I tried on I really liked. It was my favorite out of all the ones I had tried on so far. All of the others were pretty , but they had something I didn’t like. This one I liked. I felt good in it. It was pretty. After that I kept comparing all the other dresses I tried on to that dress by saying I like this one, but I still like that other dress better.
I tried on about 12 dresses in 2 hours. I thought there would be way more I would be trying on. 12 didn’t seem like a lot out of all the dresses their shop had or I would get to look through and choose which ones looked like something I would be interested in, but they pulled the ones based on my responses. We narrowed down to 4 favorites, and I ended up saying yes to the one I kept comparing others to. I can’t say I felt that feeling that people say you get. I never felt like this is my dress. I just liked it better than the others. A part of me felt pressured to say yes that day and I was even looking in the mirror thinking, maybe this is the dress. But I don’t think I ever truly felt what people talk about. I think that’s a part of my Indecisive nature. Maybe I’m not the type of person who will get that feeling. The girl helping me try on dresses even said not everyone gets that feeling and that’s ok.
So I put down a large deposit and signed a contract. What do you know, my indecisiveness kicked in that evening after seeing the pictures my party had taken of all of the dresses and after looking at that bridal shops Facebook page and seeing all of these pretty dresses that I didn’t try on. I keep thinking, maybe I wasn’t shown “my dress” and that’s why I didn’t get that feeling. Maybe I answered something wrong when they were asking me what I liked or didn’t like about the others which made them not bring out “the dress” as if there is another dress because I didn’t feel that feeling. Maybe I shouldn’t have said yes. Maybe I should have gone home and thought about it and made a decision after having time to myself. Maybe I should have gone to other shops to see variety. Maybe maybe maybe. It’s too late now. I can’t go to another shop. I signed a contract and put a large deposit down. I’m wondering if I need to contact my shop and ask them if I can come back and try on more just to make sure this is the one.
Maybe the one I bought is the one and I just need to reassure myself that there isn’t one better. Maybe I won’t have that feeling with any dress I put in because I am so indecisive. Maybe if I had left that day without buying my dress, I would have second guessed that decision. I know there is little I can do now. I doubt they will let me come back and try on more. This was such a big decision and something that I wanted to get right. The food, no one will remember. The dress, everyone will remember. I want it to be perfect and I want to make the right decision. I just needed to let that out. Am I being silly? Did any other brides feel like this? Did I make the right decision? What do you think I should do now if there is anything to do?

9 Comments

Latest activity by Ashleyt, on October 18, 2020 at 12:58 PM
  • Fleur
    October 2020
    Fleur ·
    • Flag
    You should totally call the shop and tell them to schedule another appointment to try on more dresses. Dress uncertainty is common and no doubt your bridal shop deals with it regularly. Also try on dresses at another bridal shop too. Shopping around at a few unique environments will help you feel settled with your final decision. Btw I remember the food, drinks and party vibe waaaay more than the bride’s dress after a wedding. Hang in there girl, stop beating yourself up and and let us know how it goes. You got this!!
    • Reply
  • Yasmine
    Rockstar October 2020
    Yasmine ·
    • Flag
    Honestly, I wouldn't have bought the dress with a "maybe this is the dress" mindset. If I were you I would've waited and probably went to another bridal shop as well.


    What is the boutiques return policy? If they haven't ordered the dress or have a good return policy then I would try more in because clearly this isn't your dress.
    Also when you try dresses on next time, if you're thinking maybe this is it, I wouldn't purchase it! I would wait. And some bridal advice, I wouldn't keep looking around for dresses afterwards unless you are willing to put down another deposit and possibly lose out on the one you already have.
    • Reply
  • Sharon
    Expert September 2021
    Sharon ·
    • Flag
    Take a deep breath!! Its ok!


    It's overwhelming going dress shopping and a lot of brides can relate to how you're feeling. I did not have that "omg! this is the one" moment. I did not cry. My first dress appt I tried on about 4 dresses. It was the very first dress I tried on and really liked it. Like you I compared the rest to that one. I put a deposit down but still wasn't 100% sure. I went back to the store by myself and tried it on again. Then I felt much more confident that it was the one. I had already had an appt scheduled at a different salon. I decided to keep that one just to see what else was out there. Every dress I tried on, and it was about 12 that time, I compared to the original one so I knew I had made the right decision.
    Try on more dresses at another salon. Give yourself time to really think about them. When you close your eyes and imagine standing at the altar marrying the man of your dreams which dress do you see yourself in?
    • Reply
  • Jay
    Dedicated September 2021
    Jay ·
    • Flag
    I haven’t gone dress shopping yet, so I may not be the most helpful contributor. But I’m also indecisive, so this is my take.


    First, if you aren’t sure, it doesn’t hurt to call & talk to them. Maybe they can cancel the order/deposit, or otherwise help you with ideas to make the dress what you want w/ alterations & accessories. It does sound like you like it on some level, since you kept comparing the others to it. I think if you really hated it you wouldn’t have done that.
    I personally don’t think there is “one dress” for anyone. There are so many designers, for one thing, but there are also a TON of other factors. Budget is a big one, but also things like “I really love this dress but it’s uncomfortable” or as in my case, I need to wear something on the modest side & be able to kneel for extended periods of time because I’m having a Catholic service. Really, I think the perfect dress isn’t just “did I cry & do I love this” but “do I feel confident/beautiful & does it also hit my checkboxes.”
    From a guest perspective, we never know what dresses you almost picked, or picked & then returned. We only have a “wow, my friend/cousin/sister/etc is beautiful & happy” & I remember that feeling more than the dress itself.
    • Reply
  • Minimalist Bride
    Master April 2021
    Minimalist Bride ·
    • Flag
    Oh no. It's crazy going dress shopping. One needs to be 100% sure about the dress but it's easy to get confused. Focus on what you love and remember; not what others will remember.
    • Reply
  • Jesyka
    Dedicated October 2020
    Jesyka ·
    • Flag
    Because of the prices and not being able to find "my dress" I decided to build my own dress, buying a simple white dress, and having what I liked added through alterations. It saved tons of money, only spending about 150 on the entire thing, and I was able to make my dress, "my dress"
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy May 2021
    Kaelyn ·
    • Flag
    I felt the exact same way! We have very similar personalities! I felt very overwhelmed by the process. I did exactly what people said not to do and started immediately looking at dresses! They say not to shop for dresses after you pick your dress. My best friend is getting married a few months after me and hasn’t picked her dress yet (so it’s a bit hard not to)! However, looking at the other dresses, I remember why I liked it the best. The stylist said to me also not everyone has that moment.


    If your FH agrees on a new dress, go looking! Both my mom and FH told me to go look again if it made me feel better but I haven’t been because I think in the end everything happens for a reason.
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy May 2021
    Kaelyn ·
    • Flag
    Oh they also told me to buy a new dress if I wanted so if it’s not in your budget I wouldn’t suggest going shopping again! Sorry not sure how to edit the reply 😕
    • Reply
  • Ashleyt
    Just Said Yes June 2021
    Ashleyt ·
    • Flag
    I wanted to update you all! First of all, I appreciate the advice. I really do love the dress, but since I didn’t get “the feeling” I think I will always wonder what if, if I don’t go back. I’ve tried explaining to my FH and mother that I may never feel that feeling and if I go back and try on more, there might not be another one that I like as much as the one I originally went with, but I need to do it to ease my doubts and so it won’t drive me crazy! My FH was very supportive and said it doesn’t matter what dress I wear, that I’ll be the most beautiful woman in the world, but I need to do what makes me happy. My mother is worried that it will make it harder on me because I might find another I like just as much as my original choice. I still think I need to just in case there is a dress that will give me that feeling. I’ve kind of resigned that I’m the type of person who won’t feel it because I question everything. We will see.


    I called the shop, and they were very nice and supportive. I signed a contract, so I can’t go to another shop. I’m coming more prepared to my next appointment with pictures of what I thought I would have liked. The dress I got is very different from what I thought I would like. It’s very flattering on me and I felt great in it, but I’m still worried that since I didn’t try on a style I thought I was going to like, I might like one in that style better. I hope I’m making sense! I was trying hard not to give anyone the impression that I don’t like my dress. I really do!! I just have doubts, but that’s my personality. I’m the type of person that would possibly get that feeling and still have doubts in my head after buying it. Or if I had walked away that day without buying my dress, I would have regretted it and called back wanting to buy it. That’s just me!
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