My mom and I used to be super close. 6 months ago, I would have said she was my best friend. Now, we are 6 weeks away from the wedding and my mom didn't express any concerns about the relationship until about 6 months ago. Basically, he doesn't match up with her idealistic and unrealistic ideas of what my future husband should be like (this isn't 1965 anymore). He is absolutely amazing and our relationship is strong. She expected me to break things off or postpone the wedding after she shared her concerns but they were all "shortcomings" that I was aware of and am willing to spend the rest of my life with. This inevitably snowballed into a war where I took the loss and tried to be accommodating in every battle. You have a wedding fund for me saved up but aren't going to give it to me? Ok. We can afford to have a conservative wedding on our own. You want your 4 best friends to be invited even though we are having a tiny wedding and have to cut family members from both sides. Ok. Your happiness and comfort is important to me. The list goes on and on.
I have stood my ground on 2 things and she's throwing a fit. I wouldn't postpone the wedding by 1-2 years or call it off like she wanted. I'm sorry. Not your decision. The other thing is such a minute detail but it was important to me. I wanted to go with her to pick out her dress or at least see it before the wedding and she's flat out refusing. I had planned on it being a fun bonding thing and we were going to match the corsages of the people in the processional to whatever color dress they picked. She won't even tell me the color. Now it's just a power struggle and I'm tired of constantly caving. Why should I have to go out of my way to accommodate you especially when you're not even contributing!?!?!?!?
I'm feeling super frustrated and want to fix it but don't know how without either cutting her off or caving to her every desire.