OldSchoolKindaLove
Devoted September 2018

Wedding Day Regrets....

OldSchoolKindaLove, on February 7, 2019 at 2:59 PM Posted in Married Life 1 12
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Recently married women...What are your wedding day regrets? Let's share our stories so maybe other brides' wedding day can be better planned....


To all Brides, here is a list of my wedding day regrets and some tips to help your planning and wedding day go better than mine did. As always Best of Luck......


1. My Wedding Venue (Don't settle on a venue for convenience for friends and family. It's your day do what makes you and your FH happy.)


2. Having my uncle take pictures ( even though he's a professional photographer, I should have hired someone else) ( 4 Months married = Still no pictures) Professionals provide a detailed contract of when your pictures will be finished and also probably won't partake in any pre-ceremony drinking unlike family....)

*Side note: Get with your photographer and go over moments you want captured on film in as much detail as you can provide this will ensure you get most of the pictures you wanted, if not all*


3. My Videographer ( 4 Months being married, still no video. Word to the wise, don't go cheap and ALWAYS get a signed contract detailing their production timeline.)


4. Spending the night with my BM's the night before (I think it would have been better to have a night by myself, especially if they are going to be with you all day the day of the wedding)


5. Not completing all the decorating of the venue the day before our wedding. (Decorating on your wedding day takes time away from your day and adds more stress...)


5b.) While decorating the day before, I had so many people there to help, but all they did was hinder. Word to the wise, select like 4 or 5 people you trust to stay on task otherwise expect Chaos. Other options is have a Wedding Planner who can decorate for you....Keep DIY projects to a minimum.


6. Rehearsal Dinner the night prior to the wedding, see if you can do this a week or two before the wedding, that way you have time to think it over and change it before the ceremony begins, because once the music starts there's no changing it......


7. This whole idea that the bride and groom shouldn't see each other on their wedding day before the first look or when you first walk down the aisle. I would have liked to finished decorating our wedding ceremony space together instead of FH having to make all the decisions by himself. However, family and friends shoved me in a bridal suite for an entire day. Talk about going stir crazy....UGH!


8. Limit the amount of people you see prior to your ceremony.....you are busy with hair, makeup, pictures, etc. The more people interrupting the more stress especially if you have an non-alcohol approving grandma who wants to limit you to one glass of wine all day because "You don't want to be drunk and miss all these feelings of this important day" *insert eye roll*


9. Not postponing my wedding is my biggest regret. ( This may be because my sister got married in June and my wedding was in September (Mine was planned first BTW) , and my parents were still going through her after wedding process....it didn't give my mom time to help me with all my DIY projects we had planned to do.

12 Comments

Latest activity by MrsD, on February 8, 2019 at 11:27 AM
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Thank you for this! I'm following this thread. It's super helpful. I'm glad to hear you regret spending the night with your bridesmaids. I'm personally spending it with my fiance, so I think this brings me some relief to make sure it's the right decision. I think it's almost impossible to do rehearsals a week before, that's why everyone does them 1-2 days before. Just for out of town guests, so don't feel bad about that. I hope you get your pictures & video back soon!

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  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
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    I don't think I regret much but there are a few things I'd go back and change.

    1. We did a "grand exit" at the end of the night but a lot of people didn't hear the DJ announce this and thought they were being kicked out to go outside. FH and I did our moonlight dance, ran through the crowd and left. A few guests were upset we dipped without "saying goodbye" and so I wish we didn't leave.

    2. Letting others watch our first look. I wanted this to be a totally private moment with us and the photographer. The bridal party and parents were supposed to be on their way to the church. Supposedly a few people stayed behind and watched, and while it didn't really make a difference to the first look I just really wanted the private moment to be together and relax without having to feel like we were being stared at.


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  • Rachel
    Super May 2019
    Rachel ·
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    I like your list, thanks for sharing it! We rented the inn for our wedding for 2 nights and they provide breakfast both mornings. I don't want to have to have breakfast hiding away in the bridal suite just so we don't see each other. I'm having breakfast with everyone, I just won't look very good! Haha, no makeup, hair in a braid, PJs, etc. But I don't want to miss out on that special breakfast that morning of the wedding. That will be our last breakfast together before getting married and we get to spend it with everyone we love most.

    Also, we're spending the night before in the same room. I'm going to be a ball of nerves and I know the only way I'll be able to relax and sleep if he's there with me.

    I especially like your #8, after breakfast, I'm hiding in the bridal suite while I get ready and it's just going to be me and a few others. I need to keep my nerves down so I'm not bright red when I walk down the aisle.

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  • PurdyAikey
    Super January 2019
    PurdyAikey ·
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    Response to 4: Spending the night just me by myself was an amazing thing besides the dog barking in the suite next to me.... We had our Bridal Party and a few friends in our suite until almost midnight just partying and hanging out (which was awesome), but at 11:45 FH and I said goodnight--which was bittersweet and hilarious, and I stayed up wrote my letter to him, re-worded my vows and reflected, but had he been there I probably would have been relaxed and just went to sleep. I am glad that I had me time (especially since I had all the WE time with ALL the people ALL day and all the US time with just me and DH on our honeymoon).

    1) Not clarifying timeline/plan that cake and champagne would be served.

    2) Not having a plan with FH about talking to ALL of the guests. (Husband talk to all of his side and like 1/2 of mine and he was disappointed!)

    2.1) Not getting to spend quality time with guests! Seriously, my biggest regret was not getting to spend time with some friends and family!

    3) Ask you DOC if people can hear the DJ when he speaks if not have someone work with DJ to get sound right! (Literally NO ON COULD HEAR THE DJ ANNOUNCEMENTS!)

    SUGGESTIONS (OPPOSITES OF REGRETS)

    1) Spent 20 minutes during cocktail hour (after pics) just me and husband having the WOW WE ARE MARRIED MOMENT! Seriously, if its just 5-10 minutes in the bridal suite! TAKE THOSE MOMENTS!!!! We didn't get to spend much of our wedding day/night together.
    2) NEITHER OF US THOUGHT WE WOULD CRY! We cried on and off for like 2 days!!! WE WERE BOTH SOOOO HAPPY! If you need to cry happy tears cry happy tears!

    3) WALK SLOW! TAKE IN THE MOMENTS!!!

    4) Don't let anyone tell you what you can or cannot have/do! If it represents you and FS, DO IT!!!

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  • Futuremrsk
    VIP August 2019
    Futuremrsk ·
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    This is an awesome thread and I am following it!! Glad to hear that spending the night alone is good. We will spend it together but I think we will be okay. Also, I think limiting the amount of people you see the morning of is great advice. I am hoping my morning will be just me and my girls with my mom and possibly his mom. Less than 10 people total!
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  • Mariangeli
    Devoted October 2019
    Mariangeli ·
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    These are so helpful! Following this thread, and I especially like the part about not seeing a million people the day of the wedding. My mother has been deeply offended I don't want to spend the night before and the day of getting ready at her place... where many of our out of town family members AND my bridesmaids will be staying! It will be a crazy packed full house and she doesn't seem to understand why I wouldn't want to get ready there LOL

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  • C
    Chelsea ·
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    #3 is such a good idea! I recently went to a cousins wedding and we understood absolutely nothing the DJ said - or BM/MOH speeches the entire reception. Like not one word. It was an odd shaped room and I think closer tables were ok, but our whole table felt clueless sitting there not being able to hear

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  • Cynthia
    Expert May 2019
    Cynthia ·
    • Flag
    Posting to follow! I think our venue has most of these covered, thankfully. FH and I will be together the night before the wedding, as well as for breakfast the day of. My mom isn’t too happy, but oh well 🤷🏼‍♀️. Our rehearsal is actually only a few hours before the ceremony (the venue has weddings the days before ours), which I’m fine with. So our bridal party doesn’t need to pay for an extra night at a hotel and can drive up the morning of! We’ve been going back and forth on a grand exit, but I don’t know if it’s necessary. We have to stay and clean up all our decor after, so it feels a little weird to do this big exit then have to walk back up to the venue haha
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  • J
    Master October 2019
    Jolie ·
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    Crucial points to remember! Thank you. I had talked to my mom worrying that FH would think the reception is a free-for-all when really we have to thank each guest. Mom said to set him up with a timeframe of when we will do that so he knows! The DJ announcements are another important thing to me especially for cake cutting, which many people including myself get upset if I miss that! I look forward to just FH & I's couple pictures during cocktail hour to really soak it all in.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I just reread my comment...I'm obviously not glad you regret anything. I was just happy to hear your honest feedback!

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  • OldSchoolKindaLove
    Devoted September 2018
    OldSchoolKindaLove ·
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    That is honestly why I created this post. I wanted to share my regrets with other brides so hopefully there won't be so many or hopefully any regarding your special day. I don't think there are any weddings that go exactly like we plan for them to, but that's part of it.


    Also, this is one thing that I don't regret from my wedding, which I had a lot of others on WW tell me not to do. I had a friend who I asked to be one of my BM's. Long story short, she didn't like anything about my wedding from the dresses I picked all the way to the color of her nails I requested ( not even requesting they be professionally done)...This made everything unbearable and I finally had enough. I was very straightforward and honest with my friend who I cared deeply for, and I told her that for my own sanity and the sake of our friendship I requested she no longer be one of my BM's, but I expressed how badly her presence at my wedding meant to me and requested she attend as a guest without any expectations or having to be unhappy. She attended my bridal shower, I hugged her and we talked about my decision. Come to find out she was having some personal things going on in her life and even admitted that she couldn't be there for me during this time. Even better she attended my wedding, and this year for New Years Eve we had a blast enjoying ourselves like the good friends we are. Even talked about how, my decision and being honest with her about my feelings during my wedding actually made our friendship bond stronger than it was before.


    I guess the moral from this is be honest and open with your BM's about what you are feeling. Also realize they may have something going on in their own life. I know as a bride it can be overwhelming with all the decision making and trying to make others happy ( or at least content). Know that you can't please everyone, and don't try. Make yourself happy because after all it's your Wedding Day.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Thank you! It's super helpful. Fortunately I'm having no problems with my 9 bridesmaids (I asked them in January 2018), but I let them choose their own dress (in a specific color, fabric, length from Azazie), their own nails, their own jewelry, and their own shoes. My mom is paying for my entire bridal shower & I'm flying for the bachelorette so they don't have to. I'm also paying for their hair & makeup. I've been a bridesmaid before and although it always bugs me to buy specific shoes or paint my nails a specific way (I pay $50 a month for my fake nails that are french, so any other color costs me more that month & costs me more to get my nails back to what I wear all the time), I've always done it since I agreed to be a bridesmaid. I just didn't want to have them annoyed with any of my requests, so I had very few.

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