Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Just Said Yes August 2021

Wedding Day Ptsd?

Laura, on November 23, 2021 at 7:32 AM Posted in Married Life 0 3

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hi!

My wedding was 3 months ago and I still find myself crying about it on the regular. For everyone else the day was great, but the immense pressure I felt being the wedding planner, day of coordinator and bride all in one (with a pandemic thrown into the mix!) was just a bit too much.
I spent the entire morning of the wedding having panic attacks and crying whilst trying to set up the outside venue (in the rain!), after being up until 3am the night before the wedding making bouquets (since our florist and venue decorator scammed us 3 weeks prior).
It felt like such a shambles and “not a real wedding” - some sort of imposter syndrome?! I also have deep regret about ruining the experience for my family.
I can’t afford a counselor at the moment and my negative attitude and experiences of the wedding is driving a wedge between my partner and I, who is disappointed in the way I speak out the day (he thought it was great!).
Really at a loss for where to go from here and how to focus on the positives from the day - I struggle to remember much since I had such a strong vision for how the day was supposed to go they all seem to blur!
Anyway, apologies for the long message, but has anyone had a similar experience or can recommend a way to move on?

Flag
Hide content

3 Comments

Latest activity by Heather, on November 23, 2021 at 3:53 PM

Master September 2019
Sarah · on November 23, 2021 at 8:05 AM
Flag

Hide content
I’m so sorry you’re feeling so let down about your wedding. I know you say you can’t afford a counselor right now, but many charge based on a sliding scale so I would look into a few in your area and see what they can do for you. While it’s totally normal to feel some disappointment around what didn’t go right on the day, it’s not healthy to continue harping on it and letting it come between you and your spouse. Instead of trying to remember the positives from that day, focus on the bigger picture. You’re married to the person you wanted to be married to and now you can put your planning energy into something new- a home project, a new hobby, etc.
- Reply
Super May 2022
Samantha · on November 23, 2021 at 2:16 PM
Flag

Hide content
Have you gotten your pics back yet? If you look at the pics, I am sure you will see that everything is beautiful and everyone is happy, and that will help you focus on what did go right Also, plan a new event. This will help get your mind off the past and onto the future. Something as simple as a fun outing with your H, a get-together with friends and fam, or a craft night with the girls.
- Reply

Super November 2021
Heather · on November 23, 2021 at 3:53 PM
Flag

Hide content
Laura,
I am SO sorry that happened! It breaks my heart whenever I read that a bride had a negative experience on their wedding day.. Did you guys already go on your honeymoon? Or do you have it planned out? This is something else to look forward to. While I know you can't go back and change what happened, you can plan and make new memories. Maybe a year from your wedding date you can renew your vows. Just you and your husband or even just a small amount of people to make up for your special day. It doesn't have to be too fancy. It could simply be somewhere up in the mountains, on the beach, somewhere cute in the city, or even a little chapel. You guys can get semi-dressed up if you want or re-wear your wedding outfits! Yes, it may require some set up, but if you do then designate people to get it done to help. If not then the best option is to go to the chapel I'm sure there are cute chapels in your area. This will create NEW memories without the hassle of doing everything yourself because chapels already have coordinators so you just have to get ready and show up! Let them take care of the rest.
If it is within your budget then maybe look into an elopement or microwedding service. Usually these services will help set up everything for you. You just tell them what you want and then they take care of the rest. Again you can and should be able to do a vow renewal with this type of service.
And forget about the experience for your family!!! For me, they should have helped especially if they noticed and saw you struggling. Your wedding day is all about YOU! It's sweet that you considered their experience, but this day was solely for you and your husband. Everyone else is a guest to YOUR guys wedding celebration.
If you need help focusing on the positives then you can look for positive videos online such as youtube for brides who may have experienced the same thing. They can share experiences and give advice.
Another thing you can do is write down the positive things about your wedding. if you ever feel like you are focusing on the negatives from that day again then refer back to what you wrote. If you need to write more then go ahead and write more.
If you feel like you are unable to focus on the positives then definitely see a counselor because that means there is something there deeper that you may not want to admit to yourself just yet..
Praying that you get through this hun!
- Reply

32 Thoughtful Gifts to Spoil Your Fiancé Before the Wedding Day — Married Life 32 Thoughtful Gifts to Spoil Your Fiancé Before the Wedding... Need some help with your shopping list? Check out this list of the best gifts...

Wedding Flowers 5 Ways to Preserve Your Bouquet as a Wedding Day Keepsake Don’t toss this special arrangement in the trash at the end of the reception....

Wedding Songs & Music 14 John Mayer Love Songs for Your Wedding Day No "Heartbreak Warfare" here—these John Mayer love songs are uplifting picks for...

Post content has been hidden

Wedding Day Ptsd?

3 Comments

Related articles