Wedding Commentary

1) Don’t share your wedding ideas with your friends who are also planning a wedding – especially if you have a lot of overlap in your group of close friends. There will be those people who poach your good ideas. FH told the groom months ago that we were planning on being announced at the reception to Chelsea Dagger…guess what they walked out to last night. (I realize this is pretty common with how popular the Blackhawks are, but it’s different when FH told the groom what we were going to do and the groom’s response was, “That’s a great idea. We have no idea what we’re going to do.”) I might have passed this off as a coincidence, but there were a couple other similarities in things I know FH told his friend we were going to do. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if we didn’t have pretty much all the same friends going to our wedding. I’m not pitching a hissy fit, just a bit miffed because I don’t want to be viewed as copying them. We will never hear the end of it from that bride (even though FH told them all the ideas first…) if we do anything remotely similar to what she did. Oh well. I’m creative so I know we’ll figure everything out! Luckily there’s nothing we really cannot tweak with 6 months out from our own wedding.

2) I understand this depends on the venue, but it was still annoying: Don’t make your guests have to go to a separate part of the venue for the bar. The venue was a large hall. We had the ceremony and then we were moved to another room for the cocktail hour (the room was also way too small for the amount of guests – we felt like sardines and drinks were getting knocked out of peoples’ hands left and right, poor planning on the part of the venue if they did know how many people were on the guest list). The room for the reception was opened and everyone was expecting one or two pop-up bars (at the least) to be in the very large reception room. Nope. If you wanted another drink, you had to get up and leave the reception and make your way all the way back to the cocktail hour room in another corner of the venue to get your drink. This also made it difficult for people to know when the bar was open and closed. People kept getting up before and during dinner for another drink only to find out the bar was closed and no one knew when it would reopen. There was definitely some frustration amongst the guests. When it did open again, we found out by accident when someone went to the bathroom during the main course. I realize it’s common for bars to close during dinner, but let your guests know (especially if it’s not even in the same area as the reception) or reopen it at a logical time, like after dinner is over. A little sign can do wonders for preventing confusion.

3) Signature drinks are fun. They had a peach sangria drink that was pretty good and it’s something I’m seeing more and more at weddings. I think it’s a nice touch.

4) Make sure everyone at the ceremony can actually see the ceremony. Again, I think this might go back to poor planning on the venue’s part. There were two columns of “traditional seats” and a column of angled seats on either edge of the room. My friends and I sat in one of those angled columns because we wanted to let the families have the middle columns. The way everything was angled meant we could see NOTHING when all the seats were filled. We missed everything from the bride walking down the aisle to the first kiss. I didn’t even know what her dress looked like until the reception. Everyone around me was grumbling about the poor setup of the room.

5) Personal touches make a wedding special. Sure, they had the signature drink, but that was about it. As pretty as the room was with crystals and white draping, these were all things that the venue already had installed. There were NO personal touches for the bride and groom. Nothing screamed that this was THEIR wedding. This makes me feel justified in all the time I’m spending on the “little things.” Even something as small as pictures of them on the tables as the table numbers (or something like that) would have really made an impact. I’m not saying someone has to go crazy with the DIY to make an impact, but I think it’s important that you make a wedding/venue yours.

6) Make sure your bridal party has all the info! I cannot stress this enough. The groom was very bad at letting his guys know any details. We didn’t know where/when the rehearsal dinner was until the week-of (hard to plan when you’re not sure if you need to leave work early or not). Also, all of the bridesmaids, the bride, and the groom changed into Converse sneakers at the reception (which was cute). The groomsmen were stuck in their uncomfortable rental shoes because (and I quote) the groom “Didn’t think they’d want to get the Converse.” Can’t you at least give them the option? I know for a fact that all of them would have preferred anything over having to dance for hours in those rental shoes.

7) If you’re going to have something like a photo booth, make sure your guests know it’s there. The photo booth was stuck in the room with the bar. Since guests already had to leave the party for another drink, very few of them wanted to waste more time away from the fun to use the photo booth. (This also made the already tiny room even smaller and more uncomfortable when he was setting up during cocktail hour.) There was plenty of extra room in the reception area and it probably would have gotten a lot more traffic in there. Because of its poor placement, I think they wasted a bit of money and lost out on a lot of fun photos of the guests, which is unfortunate.

8) Pre-gaming is fine, but, if you’re a bridesmaid, just make sure you can stand up for the ceremony and pictures. Enough said.

9) If you’re doing fun entrances, make sure the room layout accommodates them. The layout of the reception was flipped from every other wedding I’ve ever been to. There were two doors and the head table was placed between them facing the DJ across the room. The DJ faced the doors. I’ve only ever seen it reversed so the bridal party doesn’t have its back to everyone walking into the room. Also, that way the bridal party can do their fun entrance dances across the dance floor on their way to the head table. The bridal party spent hours trying to choreograph and figure out what they were each going to do for their entrances. The way the room was laid out, however, meant they walked 3 feet into the room and they were done. Needless to say, half the room couldn’t see them because of the head table, and the bridal party was a bit disappointed because they’d worked so hard. Even if they absolutely had to have the reception set up this way, then they could have been informed ahead of time and planned a circular lap around the dance floor so everyone could enjoy it.

These were just some of my observations and comments. The above probably sounds a bit harsh. In all honesty, it was a nice wedding; there were just some things that didn’t seem thought-out as well as others. Part of this might be because of the venue. I just read some reviews on this venue and it seems like a couple of my observations were common comments about the location. I guess this should be another of my takeaways:

10) Don’t book a venue on looks alone (like I know for a fact this bride did, because she told me so). Be sure to read recent reviews of your venue. If you’re still in love with the place, it can’t hurt to bring up concerns from other guests to try to be sure that they are addressed for your wedding.

Great observations!

OMG, #8!

Great points @FutureMrs.G! Especially #2 & #4. I'd hate not being able to see the ceremony happening (aka the reason we are all there!), and having to go to another room for the bar ...?! I feel like the party would continue in two different places because the guests would mingle around the bar area instead of the reception room.... Definitely sounds like poor planing.

Great feedback and advice! FH and I were very concerned about layout and space when we were looking at venues (for reasons #2 and #7). This was very important to us! There was one ballroom we loved but the cocktail hour was down the hall and you had to cross the lobby. We instantly envisioned a trail of drunk stragglers throughout the hotel and passed on that ballroom

#3 - I always thought of signature drinks as cute but not necessary, but I'm noticing more and more that people LOVE them!

#4 - That stinks and has happened to me as a guest as well. Honestly I have no idea what the venue coordinator was thinking! This was the 1st time the venue had ever tried a circular ceremony setup, so the bride and groom were in the middle and rows of seats surrounding on all 4 sides. But then they had the bridesmaids and groomsmen form 2 lines from the middle out on either side, so the bridal party completely blocked the view of 50% of the guests. The groom's mom had to stand up and find someone to switch seats with her so she could see!

You should change the title to "reasons my wedding will be better than theirs". Most of your complaints are venue problems, not the bride or groom. We didn't have "personal touches". Some people aren't that sentimental. We didn't pour sand, light candles, write our own vows, have pictures of ourselves...nothing. Everyone had a good time. I have no idea what song we were introduced to. In fact, I can't remember hearing music at all while I walked down the aisle. I know it was playing, but I didn't hear it. Noone in 6 months will remember that they came out to "your song". No wedding is "unique". Everyone does the same things. Maybe things that you found as inconveniences, they found "fit their personalities"? Was there anything, besides the sangria, that you liked about their wedding?

I'd add if you're doing a "fun entrance" that includes the wedding party make sure your wedding party is having fun/ had a drink. The last wedding I went to was a bore. And the reception kicked-off the boredom with the wedding party's enterance, like looked as they was ready to go and it just started. Its worth mentioning that the bar was poorly & scantly stocked by the B&G with the cheapest of alcohol & wine (this was a Sunday wedding, no one has time to be sick the next day bc you want to serve 200 ppl with something sold in a plastic jar). It didn't help the mood at all, it would have been better without it. And from the pictures it looked like 90% of guest were gone less than 30 mins after dinner (we left immediately after dinner).

@butsrsly i dont think that what OP is doing. Esp with #10. Like the OP, lots of ppl in FH's circle are engaged or recently married and they share their complaints after the fact. Like the reviews said X, and they ignored it and didn't bring it up and then when it was close to their wedding they had the same complaints. It happens. That has nothing to do with her vs. their wedding. You'd be surprised everyone will tell you all the positives about your wedding (nothing wrong with that) but clearly sometimes you need a advice on what not to do or what to avoid. These are just suggestions.

Exactly, FFW; my comments were meant to just be comments on the wedding from a guest's perspective. Maybe they can help other brides considering a similar set up (i.e. putting the bar across the venue from the reception) and see how it works in practice rather than just in theory. The bride in this wedding may have been more aware of the arrangement issues had she read the reviews instead of visiting the venue, falling in love with how it looked, and signing the docs right there. Research can't hurt!

My comment about the "announcement song" and why we can't do it anymore was more because that particular bride will never let us live it down if we "copy her." There genuinely are people out there who will steal your ideas and I'm just giving other brides the heads-up that they may want to hold their best cards close to the chest, just in case

Perhaps use a different version of it? Radio 1 Live Lounge, Galaxy Radio or Forth Radio is bound to have one, there may even be some versions from when the Fratellis were still playing pubs.

Just as a wee aside on that point.

MissGeek - Thanks for the suggestion! We've already messaged our DJ about it because that was the very first thing we told him we wanted for our wedding. He has come up with a few suggestions and he might have some connections to where we can get it personalized with a recording of Blackhawks announcers introducing us. We will see if that happens or not, but it would be neat. She can't call it copying if it's taken to the next level

ETA clarity

When I was shopping around for a venue, I didn't choose one BECAUSE you had to go to another room for the bar.

"poach your good ideas?"

Geez.....you know that no one at either wedding is going to notice this, right?

@Celia - In our specific situation, the other bride whose wedding we just attended IS the kind of person to notice things like that (and never stop bringing it up), even though she did the poaching the first place.

Then tell her to shut up; this is not high school.....geez.....

Do you kinow how many couples I've had walk into '1000 years'? I'm sure it felt like a really unique and quirky idea the first 40 times, and there is nothing wrong with the song, but no one, no one keeps track of this stuff except for people with zero lives.