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Devoted October 2020

Wedding Cake

A, on January 17, 2020 at 6:11 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 7

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So I was going to make my own wedding cake (we’re only inviting 30 people, we want a very simple cake, and I have a degree in cake decorating). My FMIL insisted I shouldn’t make my own cake and said she would buy us one. We know her financial situation is not good and I really don’t think she knows how much that will cost, even for a small simple cake. How can we convince her to let me make the cake without upsetting her with finances? Or do we just let her do it? I’m worried we will get to a cake tasting and she will panic. My fiancé is worried she will try to get a cake from Walmart or something similar instead, which we really do not want.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Chrysta, on January 17, 2020 at 7:49 AM

Devoted November 2021
Sarah · on January 17, 2020 at 6:39 AM
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I would tell her that you were really excited.to.make your own cake and add a touch of personality to the reception. You have a whole degree in it for Pete's sake. Aa a guest, I'd be disappointed if I showed up at your wedding and learned that you hadn't made your own cake lol
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Devoted October 2020
A · on January 17, 2020 at 6:40 AM
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Haha okay, we will try to have that conversation with her. Cakes are so expensive!
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on January 17, 2020 at 6:41 AM
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I would just tell her that, although you appreciate the offer, cake decorating is one of your passions and it would be very meaningful to you to create the cake for your special day.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on January 17, 2020 at 7:02 AM
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I think you shouldn't tell her that you're making the cake rather for her not to worry about it and that the cake has been taken care of. I think you would do fine and even though it's 30 people I think her concern is that it should be one less thing for you to worry about on your wedding day.
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January 2019
MOB So Cal · on January 17, 2020 at 7:37 AM
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I agree with others. Typically, I'd respond, "Oh, don't add to the stress of your wedding by attempting to make your own cake," but given your training and experience, I expect you know what you're in for. If you cannot dissuade FMIL with the argument "it's important for YOU to do it yourself," I'd get preliminary estimates on the cost for what you want and make sure she is aware. Also, however you handle things with her, I'd let FH take care of it -- his family, his difficult conversations to negotiate. (If stuff comes up with your family, you take over on that.) Good luck! I can't wait to see photos of your cake!
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VIP August 2020
Kathryn · on January 17, 2020 at 7:44 AM
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Maybe offer for her to pay for something else that's going to take up some of your time? I think her heart is in the right place - she probably wants you to not have to worry about it. Just explain that you want to add this touch to your wedding and see if she'll fund something else small, like the favors maybe. Or a small dessert table instead so you can have mini pies or something along with your beautiful cake.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on January 17, 2020 at 7:49 AM
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If you speak with her and she still insists that she wants to pay for the cake, maybe you can offer to let her pay for the ingredients you need to bake the cake?
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