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Beginner September 2021

Wedding blues

Ellë, on November 20, 2019 at 11:38 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 15

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Hi!

Today my fiance have been engaged for now a month. We have our date picked if next year and I kinda jumped the gun a little bit when picking my bridesmaids, but I'm so excited for this process. But the only thing is I feel like I've been attacked everyday since my engagement from my family. Back lash on who I have as bridesmaids, where I have the wedding, the amount of people, my sisters are mad that they're not MOHs. I just feel like I'm to stressed and it's too early to be this stressed. I'm going to be a corpse bride before I'm married .....

How do you deal with back lash when every idea is back fired back to me ? They feel like I'm being a Boss and everything is my way or no way. And in a way yes, but it's like once I see it I'll go a different way..

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15 Comments

Latest activity by Taylor, on November 22, 2019 at 11:33 AM

Champion November 2016
LB · on November 21, 2019 at 12:56 AM
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I had a lot of drama with my FIL and his gf during planning my wedding. Luckily my parents stepped in and made themselves the "villains" to take some heat off me but it still sucked.

My advice is to listen to sound advice and evaluate emotional advice. In the end you should do what you think is best.
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Master August 2019
Rebecca · on November 21, 2019 at 2:55 AM
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Don't tell anyone anything about the wedding.
Seriously. DH and I discussed our plans with very few people, we very deliberately didn't give a fig what other people thought, and we were super selective about who we vented to (in my case, sometimes it was *only* here).
It is your and your FH's wedding. Unless someone else is paying and insisting on a say because they are paying... they don't get an opinion.
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Expert September 2020
Marcia · on November 21, 2019 at 5:59 AM
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Stop telling people about the wedding planning details. If they don’t know, they can’t criticize.
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Savvy December 2019
Quinesha · on November 21, 2019 at 8:09 AM
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I agree with the previous post.... stop telling them your plans and you will feel ALOT better. I have alot of opinions in this journey... but the opinions came with no money attached. So I made it clear.... unless you are generously contributing to this expensive a$$ wedding.... stfu! LOL

Trust me you will feel a lot better my love.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on November 21, 2019 at 9:40 AM
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I didn’t want any drama so I kept things to myself. Share things only with those that are supportive and loving and not anyone else. When people ask just tell them everything is a surprise. They will get the hint and maybe be nicer and if not oh well. Do your thing because it’s YOUR day!!!
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Beginner September 2021
Ellë · on November 21, 2019 at 9:46 AM
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That's my main thing! Like were paying for everything and they're not respecting that. Then to say they feel like I don't want them to enjoy this journey, and I do but they keep fighting me.
Thank you 💗💗
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Beginner September 2021
Ellë · on November 21, 2019 at 9:51 AM
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I think that's what I'm going to have to do. There's to many opinions and not enough support with this
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on November 21, 2019 at 10:26 AM
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I don't understand why some people feel so entitled. It's your bridal party, and it should be only your nearest and dearest! I got backlash for not making my sister a bridesmaid, but I'm simply not close enough to her to do that. Stand your ground, girl!
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on November 21, 2019 at 10:51 AM
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Absolutely this.

And if they pester you with questions, you can simply reply “Thanks we got it covered” or “It’s a surprise and you’ll find out at the wedding!” And if someone is super annoying, “Sounds great, can’t wait to see that at your wedding!” 😉
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Beginner September 2021
Ellë · on November 21, 2019 at 10:51 AM
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Omg This!!! And that's exactly why I didn't make them my MOH. It's like our bond isn't there. And I rather have ppl making me happy then sad
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on November 21, 2019 at 10:52 AM
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We had ZERO drama. It was partially because our friends & family are somewhat mellow but we also kept all details to ourselves. 👍
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on November 21, 2019 at 11:33 AM
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Everyone will always be so opinionated about anything when it comes to weddings. you just gotta either 1] not tell people many details or 2] just take it in stride and not let it get to you because at the end of the day all it is is their opinion [which in the end doesn't really matter if they aren't paying for it anyway]
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Beginner September 2021
Ellë · on November 21, 2019 at 7:32 PM
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I wish my parents can intervene as the villians and calm the situation. But they're the villians and I'm just trying to do the best I can.
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Beginner September 2021
Ellë · on November 21, 2019 at 7:33 PM
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Thank you everyone. I appreciate it so much. I'm going to take the advice and just not really tell anyone what's happening. And unpopular and unsolicited advice are not needed for me right now. I want to enjoy this journey.
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VIP October 2020
Taylor · on November 22, 2019 at 11:33 AM
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You do you, girl! I was keeping most everyone in the loop and then the same thing happened to me so I stopped telling people anything. My MOH has very similar taste and she is a people pleaser that ALWAYS agrees with you (she knows this about herself) so I'll tell her details because she's always super supportive. Find that person, tell them about it, and keep everyone else in the dark
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