Wedding anxiety.

I don't like being the center of attention either. I'm going to focus on my fiancee and I think you should do the same.
I'm going to pretend, that it's just the two of us.

Saying your vows, you can just whisper them to him, it will be ok.
I think you are putting alot of unnecessary pressure on yourself.
Try not to worry and enjoy this special time.

You will see, you will get caught up in your joy and happiness and forget about everything and everyone else, when you see him at the Altar.
I'll include you in my prayers.Don't worry. You will do just fine. You can do it!It will be worth it.

I agree with the pp. It's nice that you're giving him the day he wants. I wish my fiance was as compromising as you. Just focus on him and have a few shots before hand. You will enjoy the day. Can the reception be more to your style?

I would suggest taking relaxing and anti-anxiety tea, along with, having your fiance being your main focus. passion fruit flower tea is good at reducing anxiety. anti-stress oils and essences being rub on the temple of your forehead help to reduce stress too. anxiety builds stress and stress builds anxiety.

I know your feeling and I feel the same way.

(optional) maybe try, slowly talk to a small group of people and gradually to a large group to help you gain confidence and boost your self-esteem, this may help you reduce the fear of public speaking. (if you want)

(optional) try befriending your fiance friends and family, so it wouldn't feel like you are surrounded by strangers; if, you feel uncomfortable being surrounded by strangers. (if you want)

Are you doing a first look? If so, what about reading your personal vows to each other during that moment and just doing the traditional repeat after me vows during the ceremony? That way your private words can just stay between you two.

We chose not to do our own vows. I love this man and will be as ridiculously mushy as I want to be in our living room. But ain't nobody else in the world need to know. Basic generic vows for two please.

Have you shared this with him? Maybe he’d consider an immediate-family wedding only (or elopement) and a big reception? It’s not very fun if the ceremony causes health issues for one person. 😔

Aw, so sorry to hear this! it will all be okay and i think youll be glad you went through with it. you could try to politely communicate these worries with him, although it might not change his mind. as for the vows, ive seen many couples say their vows privately before the ceremony during a "first look" type of moment and go with the traditional vows during the ceremony to save time. it would keep it private, save time, and help you avoid extensive anxiety. good luck!!! 💕

Have you ever thought about taking medication for your anxiety?

I think that you should pour your heart out to your FH and let him know exactly how are you feeling. Only you can judge how you're feeling and the level of anxiety that you're having and I would be concerned that it might increase as your wedding day draws closer. I think that it's a wonderful gesture that you want your FH to have the day that he wants to have but you also

have to consider yourself too. My mother has struggled with anxiety my whole life so I understand to a certain extent how debilitating it can be.

I second the idea of doing a first look and giving each other vows then. Or giving each other a letter in the morning to each other when you're both off getting ready. Then just do the repeat after me vows.

I also recommend taking some CBD 30 minutes before you walk down the aisle so you'll just feel relaxed without being high lol.

Talk with your fiancé and let him know how you feel. Let him know that you are not against having a wedding, just tone it down and only have close family and friends at the wedding.

So my cousin also has anxiety about being the center of attention. For her wedding they did a more private ceremony with family and close friends only. Then they did the big reception after with the whole extended family and friends.

I am all for doing whatever I can for my man, but a large wedding would be something I could never do, and I know it. I would definitely talk to your FH.

Is it possible to have a smaller ceremony and larger reception maybe? That might be a feasible compromise so you can both get the day you want.

In terms of the anxiety generally, I take theanine, which is a supplement found in green tea, and it does wonders for my nerves. Also sugar and caffeine can make you feel more jittery, so I would suggest minimising that when/if you can.

Deep breathing exercises can be really helpful, as can visualisation. I have used both in different scenarios and the visualisation was magic for me. I closed my eyes, pictured my fiance and focused on his eyes. I managed to lose all of my anxiety long enough to create a plan to help solve the problem I found myself with.

I would also suggest planning the day so that you can have quiet time alone. If that is taking time out to have personal or couple only photos done away from the guests, or locking yourself in the toilet for 10 minutes to do some deep breathing or visualisation. Make sure you take care of yourself in the run up, and on the day itself.

This sounds similar to a predicament I am in. I planned a elopement style/destination wedding in August at a beautiful outdoor venue. I never wanted a big wedding and not to mention, I have VERY small family while my fiancé has HUGE family (who I’m not entirely comfortable around). So I planned it this way to keep it small, simple, and most importantly, it described who we are as a couple. But then he said he wanted to invite some family (7 people) and so I felt compelled to invite my entire family (5 people) so it turned into a “ thing” instead of this simple idea I had in mind. I became stressed over peoples opinions and such and cried for two days and he saw how bothered I was and talked with his family and they agreed that eloping would be the way to go! We have had a trip planned in February for months now so we have decided to elope there and then get “wedding” pictures taken in our original location (since I can’t get out of one of my reservations-but oh well, it’s kind of like a honeymoon)! I know it doesn’t quite make sense and is a little unconventional, but it has eased my mind and my heart. (Sorry about my venting) But I can somewhat relate and I really feel for you. I say you need to change something because this is not what you should be feeling for your wedding day. I think you need to really talk about your feelings with him and ultimately do what YOU feel comfortable with. (Easier said than done). Will you regret not doing the big wedding? Will you always wish you would have eloped? Do you think your mental health will get worse until your wedding day? Will he resent you if you choose to change your plans? Things to think about! Everything will work out in its own way

My FH wants to do something special for our vows but we're not sure yet. Maybe writing your own vows beforehand and sharing them with just each other before the ceremony starts, and then saying traditional vows during the ceremony? Then you've already had that special moment together, can calm each other's nerves, etc.?

FH was also pretty excited about recording our vows beforehand and then listening to them with headphones so they were personal and no one else could hear them, but I told him everyone would be staring at us silently while nothing happened for several minutes and he agreed it wasn't a good idea :'D. But it was very sweet, and we're still looking at romantic and personal options.

Other than actually scrapping it all and eloping (which I have been recommended by every single person who has been married over the last 3 years except two (and I've been to A LOT OF WEDDINGS, LIKE 7 EACH YEAR), the best thing I can think of is working in seeing your FH before the ceremony in a special way and using him as your rock. Especially since he's the one who wants a big event.

Best of luck!

My FH is the same way. I had to take charge and book a venue in Vegas for 30 guests. He is stuck with a rather large engagement party. I would suggest doing a First Glance. I am going to meet my FH prior to walking up the aisle because I want him to be the first to see me, but also because he needs that emotional support from me before becoming the center of attention.

I feel this way. I have very high anxiety, but I want the wedding I just get nervous and overwhelmed with all the extra opinions of my wedding etc.