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August 2020

Wedding after party

Annie, on June 9, 2020 at 4:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 22
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Hi we were asked by the wedding couple if they can have the wedding after party at our home. After we replied yes we found out on the invitation that no acholol is allowed. I feel this should of been discussed with us. While we respect their wishes and the event is outside we feel we need to lock the house or pack up our bar area. This leaves quests with no place to go for a bathroom. Also we keep asking how many tables and other questions so we can prepare and we do not get an answer. What is the etiquette for after party ? Should the couple set up?

22 Comments

Latest activity by Cassandra, on June 28, 2020 at 2:24 PM
  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I definitely think the couple needs to worry about that because they're asking to do it at your house as a venue vs asking you to host it.

    why do you feel you need the house locked up? are you worried people will come inside to try to find alcohol? there does need to be restroom facilities so if anything maybe consider telling the couple to get a port a potty or restroom trailer

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  • Kari
    Master May 2020
    Kari ·
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    Having a wedding reception or after party where alcohol is not served is different from having a one where there is no alcohol on the premises whatsoever. Even if alcohol was allowed and served at the wedding/party, I wouldn't expect guests to come up to your bar and drink your booze so I'm not sure why hiding all of that feels necessary. If there are people in attendance for whom alcohol is an issue and they cannot be around it at all, then that is a different story. I'd just chat more about this with the couple to get a better idea of what their expectations are and what you feel comfortable with. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. But have the conversation sooner, rather than later, so they can find an alternative option if they need to.

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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    Alcohol should not be mentioned anywhere on the invite. That is a word of mouth thing.


    If it's not too late, move the party to a different location and explain to the couple why you don't feel comfortable with it.
    An after party is very informal but still treat it like any other casual get together. It's an extension of the reception that the couple is responsible for hosting and arranging.
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  • A
    August 2020
    Annie ·
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    While I feel that most would respect their wishes I do feel that it might be tempting for some to get a drink on their way to the rest room . We did not know the couple was requesting this. I love the solution of a porta potty. Sad part is the couple will not answer or respond to any messages Thrir one parent communicates with us.
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  • Leanne
    Super September 2020
    Leanne ·
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    I think this is a huge red flag, based on the lack of communication, and would simply tell them circumstances have changed and you are no longer able to accommodate the after party.


    Sidenote, I don’t know what a wedding after party is, I mean I understand the concept, but it must be a new thing? Wouldn’t the reception be the end of the events for that day? How late is this supposed to run if this is a dry event?
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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    By "after party," do you mean the wedding reception? Or a late-night party after the reception is over?

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  • J
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
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    Yes they are very new. People used to just have a longer reception but they decided at some point recently to break up the party and have it at different locations.

    Whether it's dry or not has nothing to do with the length. It depends on the party vibe of the guests. Some people can easily party for hours without alcohol while others can't go 30 minutes. It's all what your guests are used to.

    But yes, huge red flag so tell them the circumstances have changed and you aren't able to host it.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I agree with the others that their lack of communication is a red flag. It would also bothering me that they didn't original give you all of the details. I would probably say that you are sorry, but your circumstances have changed and you will be unable to host their after party.

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  • Renee
    Super June 2020
    Renee ·
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    Sounds like you need to abort mission. You are worrying about someone else’s event and they aren’t even giving you details to worry about.
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    This sounds like more work than it's worth and I would back out while you still can. I don't think the lack of communication is acceptable for a situation like this.

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  • Cassandra
    Dedicated October 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    I also vote for backing out. The communication will only get worse and more stressful the closer to the day. The fact that you found out important details about an event you are hosting in an invitation instead of from them is a super red flag.
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  • A
    August 2020
    Annie ·
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    The after wedding party is after the reception and lasts as long as the guests want to stay
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  • A
    August 2020
    Annie ·
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    After the reception is over
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  • A
    August 2020
    Annie ·
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    Thank you I think the lack of communication is bothering us.
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  • J
    Expert May 2021
    Jaime ·
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    Definitely back out. Lack of communication just wouldn't work for me for people who want to use my home to host a party. You have every right to be worried that people will be rummaging around your liquor cabinet or fridge to find some alcohol.

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  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
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    I would really consider backing out, especially if they have plenty of time to make other arrangements. They should be actively reaching out and communicating their plans with you since you’re the one doing them a favor. It shouldn’t be hard for you to reach them and you shouldn’t have to communicate through third parties. All red flags .
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  • A
    August 2020
    Annie ·
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    Thank you! We will be backing out.
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  • A
    August 2020
    Annie ·
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    The after wedding party has been cancelled.
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  • A
    August 2020
    Annie ·
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    The after wedding party is cancelled.
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  • Cassandra
    Dedicated October 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    I hope the wedding couple is not giving you too much attitude about backing out. You did the right thing getting out before things get worse.
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