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Kasey
Just Said Yes September 2020

Wedding After Marriage

Kasey, on June 25, 2020 at 8:37 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16
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Hi im pretty new to this so im still trying to get the hang of it. my and my husband are 18 and last year we had to get legally married due to some legal and family issues going on before we had a chance to save or plan for an actual wedding. we did our ceremony in his mothers living room with just our moms. our daughter, a mobile officiant and a little ceasars pizza lol. i cant help but feel a little bit of regret about the situation as ive always wanted a fairy-tale wedding since i was a young girl and feel like i missed out on one of lifes biggest milestones. ive spent the last 4 months planning and saving for what ive been thinking of as my wedding party but i was recently looking for invitation ideas on a similar wedding forum and saw some people saying that they thought it was weird or selfish to throw a wedding after youre already married. im just looking for some advice or opinions on how i should continue. would you consider it selfish or would you just continue doing everything as planned?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on July 16, 2020 at 9:38 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I think it’s totally fine to have a vow renewal or a celebration of marriage, but it’s not possible to have a wedding when you’re already married.
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I think it’s fine to have one Smiley smile you should be able to have the celebration you dreamed of !
    • Reply
  • Kasey
    Just Said Yes September 2020
    Kasey ·
    • Flag

    We were planning to do everything except the ceremony since we are already married. like basically a suped up reception

    • Reply
  • Sharon
    Expert September 2021
    Sharon ·
    • Flag
    People have a lot of opinions. You do what is right for you. It's a lot more common than people think to have a small ceremony and then a big wedding later. That's what we're doing.
    • Reply
  • Lucy
    Beginner December 2020
    Lucy ·
    • Flag
    I think it’s totally fine! Everyone deserves their big day! My FH and I might end up just getting legally married and have the wedding latter on depending on how things go.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Devoted June 2021
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag
    You can definitely still have your wedding! If you’re worried about what others may think, word your invitations as “Wedding Celebration” instead of just wedding. I had an aunt get grumpy at me because of this until she was reminded two of her children secretly got married before the big celebration and lied to everybody about it 😉.
    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Rockstar October 2020
    Margaret Online ·
    • Flag
    There is nothing wrong with wanting your dream wedding! Forget what others say and just do what you want
    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Dedicated July 2021
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag
    If you want the fairytale wedding you’ve always dreamed of, please have it! That is totally okay. I plan on getting legally married this July (we had to postpone our big July wedding due to Covid) and have my big wedding with friends and family next July. I will already be married when I have my big wedding and I’m still having the ceremony because why not. I want to walk down the aisle in my dream dress, no shame in that! People will always have opinions, but you can’t let it hold you back. Have your dream wedding if that is what you want!
    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes February 2022
    Tiana ·
    • Flag

    I attended a post wedding Wedding celebration. There was a video of the actual ceremony shown and then there were speeches and it was basically a reception only but everyone dressed up as they would a wedding. It was great. Your friends and family will support your decision so do what is right for you guys.

    • Reply
  • Anna
    Super October 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    Girl, keep planning. Don’t let people with their ideas stop you from your dream. Situations come up and don’t always go according to plans. My coworker got married quickly because his fiancee’s dad was having health problems and they didn’t think he’d live long enough to walk her down the aisle. They then planned a huge celebration around their one year anniversary, had a vow renewal and everything. (The funny part of the story is that they’ve been married several years now and her dad is still around and doing well).
    And now with COVID, many couples are getting married on or around their initial date and planning a bigger celebration later. There is nothing selfish about wanting to share that moment with your friends and family.
    • Reply
  • Belle
    VIP July 2021
    Belle ·
    • Flag
    We eloped when I was 17, pregnant. DH was 22. Like you, I always dreamed of a romantic wedding, choosing my own dress, bouquet, etc. However, DH never even bought me a ring until a year ago! Freaking 23 years after married he finally realized what I always wanted! A real wedding. However, I never wanted any guest in my wedding 😂 Just me and him, but we have to include our 3 kids now 😜
    • Reply
  • M
    Super January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    You can certainly plan whatever type of event you want. But just as you can call it a wedding if you like, your friends and family are allowed to disagree that it's a wedding. I recommend trying to learn to live your life in a way that suits you, without worrying about what others think.

    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    As far as wedding etiquette goes, what you will be planning is a vow renewal. Nothing is really any different than a wedding other than the word and the fact that you cannot have a wedding if you are already married and you should forfeit any pre-wedding parties as those are to celebrate the marriage, which has already happened. You can still have your bridal party, white dress and celebrate with your guests. Finding an invitation that states this will be difficult but most sites that do invitations, will have a generator that you can edit. Congratulations!

    • Reply
  • Jeanette
    Expert July 2021
    Jeanette ·
    • Flag
    You can call it anything you like as long as your guests know whatsup 😊 we are having two weddings each in our home countries and we will be legally married in the first one, so am I "not allowed" to call the second one a wedding? 😂 Of course, we sure will!
    • Reply
  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
    • Flag

    I think you can absolutely plan something! Just call it a "celebration of marriage" instead of a wedding since you're already married! It's important to not call it a wedding since it's uncool to lie to friends and family!

    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated May 2021
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    You can do and call it whatever you like. My FH and I are getting legally married as soon as we can - thanks COVID, Smiley amazing but our WEDDING (spiritual/social/civil) has been pushed back to May of 2021. You do what you feel is right, good and proper for you and your spouse and don't let anyone tell you different. You can also have whatever parties you want to have. I'm having a virtual bridal shower this year and then an in person one (hopefully) next April. (And I don't care about gifts, they can give or not, whatever, I more care about being able to spend time with the people I love). In my opinion - you don't HAVE to tell anyone that you've been legally married before the social ceremony. Your guests and family members aren't the ones filing your taxes or dealing with your health insurance (if you're American). Good luck!

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