Wearing wedding band before wedding (but already married)?

Thanks everyone!

Please don't keep your marriage a secret. I went to a wedding this summer and while I was there found out that the couple had been married for over a year. It kind of pissed me off.

Hey, OP-- I am a marriage therapist, and I just wanted to say- rings aside- your marriage will be MUCH stronger if you side with your DH, not your mom, whenever possible. On here you make it sound like you have no firm opinion on this and are just deferring to your mom. Back. your.husband. just like you'd want him to back you with HIS mom. It might save you hours in an office like mine.

Thanks Jakki! All of our guests know already but we will make sure to make it clear on the save the dates/invites as well.

And thank you Zoe We are wearing them!

My FH wants to pick out and start wearing his wedding band immediately. I think it's cute and honestly doesn't bother me. We may not be officially married but he says we pretty much are and he wants a ring to show off too haha

My partner is in the military, and due to some complicated upcoming circumstances, we needed to have our marriage certificate on record with the military months ago for something that won't happen until after our wedding date. We haven't exchanged vows. We haven't exchanged rings. We didn't invite any guests. It was a stop while running errands. He didn't "kiss the bride" after we signed the paperwork. We haven't moved in together. We haven't combined finances. We have never called each other husband or wife. All we have is a piece of paper, and the rest of that is all going to happen on our wedding date. Our legal status may say "married," but we were adamant about the fact that obtaining a marriage certificate was only one of many steps in getting married. We also haven't hidden our legal status; it's been casually discussed if it naturally came up- we've explained that we've simply done the paperwork early, and there's honestly a social allowance for military personnel because the logistics of getting married can be so complex for those in the service.

But... it sounds like you had a small and intimate wedding ceremony that's kind of a secret, you've exchanged vows and consider yourself married, and you're still trying to have a 2nd "wedding" a year later while reenacting and pretending to get married again so you don't miss out on the fun and excitement (ahem, and gifts?)

That's shady. Many of your guests would likely be very upset or offended if they found out about the previous ceremony- and they'd be right to. Why are you insisting on having a "wedding" instead of calling it what it is- a vow renewal ceremony. You can still wear a white dress, walk down the aisle, exchange vows, and have a big reception-- with honesty and transparency, and then you & your husband can wear your rings freely starting immediately.