Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

May 2020

Wear the dress or don’t go.

Amy, on February 4, 2020 at 3:03 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 29

Saved

Flag
Hide content

Hey guys.
I really need some advice.
I have a couple tattoos on my arms and my little sister (the bride) is demanding I cover them all. She chosen a long sleeved navy blue maxi dress for me and I honestly hate it. It’s really made for someone much older than I am. I’m 24. I don’t feel comfortable in it at all. I told my mam at the time that I really didn’t like it but she didn’t care. Anyway the Other BM got her dress and it’s lovely with thin straps. I feel like I’m getting treat differently and made to cover up due to my tattoos. I really feel like I’m not getting accepted and my sister is saying that she doesn’t want my tattoos on her wedding photos. So I tried to ask her if I could get a different dress and she has said no. If I don’t wear the dress I’m can’t be her MOH. I spoke to my mam today about it and she said if I’m not my sisters MOH then I’m not welcome at the wedding. Should I suck it up and just wear it or should I fight my corner. I really really hate this dress and I don’t see why I should be treat differently just becuase I have tattoos.

Flag
Hide content

29 Comments

Latest activity by Amy, on February 6, 2020 at 6:40 AM

VIP September 2020
Neeva · on February 4, 2020 at 3:14 PM
Flag

Hide content
Is it possible you could cover your tattoos with makeup and wear the spaghetti strap dress?
Or wear the spaghetti strap dress with a cute blazer or shawl to cover your tattoos?
Just two compromises I can think of off the top of my head. Otherwise you may have to suck it up
- Reply
May 2020
Amy · on February 4, 2020 at 3:15 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
They won’t compromise at all I’ve offered to cover them. I’m just fighting a loosing battle with them.
- Reply
Devoted October 2020
Kaitlyn · on February 4, 2020 at 3:18 PM
Flag

Hide content
Have you tried talking to her about using makeup to cover them up for her wedding day instead of having to wear a long sleeved gown? I think there needs to be some compromise here
- Reply
Devoted October 2020
Kaitlyn · on February 4, 2020 at 3:18 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Oh sorry I see this now, there should be some leniency on their side
- Reply
Super March 2020
Concetta · on February 4, 2020 at 3:28 PM
Flag

Hide content
I think they should bend and if you are willing to cover with make up they should allow you to wear the spaghetti straps... im sorry they will not compromise but as a bride I appreciate you offering to cover the tattoos.
- Reply
Expert September 2021
Ka-Rina · on February 4, 2020 at 3:30 PM
Flag

Hide content
Tattoos are not for everyone. She has every right to not want to see it in photos. You'd seriously miss ur sisters wedding cuz u don't want to wear a dress for a few hours??? I hated a bridesmaids dress once but I love the bride. It's not about me feeling pretty, it's about standing by ur loved one and watching them get married.
- Reply
May 2020
Amy · on February 4, 2020 at 3:44 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
Hey, I said I would cover with makeup and I bought special makeup for covering tattoos to show them it works but they wouldn’t listen to me. I want to be there but I don’t want to be treat differently to everyone else. Surely they would want me to watch them get married and what dress I wear shouldn’t matter to them? My tattoos are me and they express who I am should she not love me tattoos included?
- Reply
Expert April 2020
Jill · on February 4, 2020 at 3:49 PM
Flag

Hide content
I personally think she should bend a little. I understand that it's what the bride wants in terms of vision, but to be treated differently for something as silly as tattoos that you offered to cover is a bit much. I have tattoos and if someone treated me differently even though I could cover them with makeup that would not fly with me. Is there a neutral person who could mediate a conversation between the two of you?
- Reply
May 2020
Amy · on February 4, 2020 at 3:51 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
The only person I had was my mam, but she’s not bending either. I want to be there but I want to feel comfortable in what I’m wearing. Im not asking for an amazing dress to outshine the rest I just want to look like a bridesmaid but in the dress she’s chosen I really don’t.
- Reply
Expert October 2021
Megan · on February 4, 2020 at 3:52 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

That's a pretty terrible attitude you got there.

Her sister doesn't control what OP does or doesn't put on her body. It's bad enough that anyone ever wants loved ones to cover up their tattoos for their wedding (aesthetics are never more important than the people in your life) but OP offered to cover up the tattoos and that still isn't flying. We need to get rid of this idea that everyone should wear something they're truly not comfortable in (not just an "eh, this color doesn't look fantastic on me") just because of a wedding.

OP, this is a really tough situation, but I'm quite angry on your behalf here. Your mom and sister have put you in a rough place. Is this the first time something like this has happened? Also, you mention the bride is your younger sister and you're 24... how old is she?
- Reply
Expert April 2020
Jill · on February 4, 2020 at 3:52 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment

Do you have a picture of what she picked out for you vs everyone else?
- Reply
Legend June 2019
Melle · on February 4, 2020 at 3:53 PM
Flag

Hide content
It sounds like she's being unreasonable!! I don't understand if you're willing to make up cover it up then why she would have an issue with you wearing a different dress
- Reply
Master May 2019
Cyndy · on February 4, 2020 at 3:53 PM
Flag

Hide content
Maybe try the makeup and covering them up and then show her what she could expect. Maybe then she will reconsider.
- Reply
Champion June 2019
Gen · on February 4, 2020 at 3:53 PM
Flag

Hide content
I mean that's pretty obnoxious and controlling of her... my MOH has a few tattoos (though most are hidden, like on her ribcage and lower back) but she was planning to get one on her upper back and she literally asked me if I would be ok with her getting that upper back tattoo before the wedding or if she should wait until after (since it'd be visible in her dress) and I told her to of course get the tattoo whenever she wants, like I couldn't care less if she has a tattoo in our wedding photos? I mean, she has tattoos, that's what she looks like lol, I don't feel the need to alter her appearance just for my wedding...

Truthfully, your sister seems like a bit of a bridezilla to me lol, but honestly I'd just weigh the pros and cons and whether or not this is a fight worth having. Like, is the dress really THAT bad? Would it be THAT awful to just suck it up and wear it? Again, I agree she's being a little unreasonable but your decision really is just if it's truly worth it to you to fight it or if you should pick your battles and just wear the dress she asked for.
- Reply
Super August 2020
Anna · on February 4, 2020 at 4:02 PM
Flag

Hide content
Personally i would suck it up and just wear the dress. It's not worth the drama that will unfold. Lots of responses say "she should bend" (your mom, or your sister) but it sounds like they are sticking to their guns and you won't be able to change their mind. I say wear the dress and then when you get married pick out a nice long-sleeve dress for her to wear while your other bridesmaids get to wear sleeveless. ha ha
- Reply
Savvy July 2022
Meetthealvarez’S · on February 4, 2020 at 4:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
Dermablend cover up is the besT and won’t transfer to your clothes and you can find it at most stores you want the leg and body cover makeup. Comes in plenty of shades. Buy it out it on show them you can cover the tattoos or show them the you videos so they can see for themselves how it works. Hopefully they will be open to this compromise
- Reply
Legend July 2019
MrsD · on February 4, 2020 at 4:35 PM
Flag

Hide content
If it were me, I'd wear the dress. I'd wear a bright orange jumpsuit if the bride asked me to, it's not my wedding so I don't care at all. I understand not all women are like that though, and care more. I was really easy going with my bridesmaids but I don't think that means all brides have to be. As long as I could afford the long sleeve dress I'd wear it, or I'd ask for a thin strap one and buy makeup to cover my tattoos.
- Reply
Super March 2020
Jennifer · on February 4, 2020 at 5:00 PM
Flag

Hide content
I can see where your sister is coming from. When I see a wedding photo with tattoos they end up being the first thing that snags my attention. I love tattoos but i wouldn't want even my own to be visible in portraits. Maybe wear the gown for the wedding and change afterwards for the ceremony into something more you. I think that would be a good compromise. A few hours won't kill you.
- Reply
Expert May 2016
needmorewine · on February 4, 2020 at 5:04 PM
Flag

Hide content
Your sister is being unreasonable and isn't accepting you for who you are. I wouldn't want anything to do with her wedding. She cares more about a vision for a one day party and photos than she does about people. Some say to just give in and do what she wants, but that only reinforces bad bridezilla behavior and makes others think it's acceptable to treat people this way.
- Reply

VIP April 2018
Mrs.hays · on February 4, 2020 at 5:20 PM
Flag

Hide content
While I firmly believe that your tattoos are a part of you and that they should just accept that, I personally would just wear the dress.. some people aren’t accepting of tattoos and I usually keep mine covered for social events where I know the main person isn’t okay with them.
- Reply