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Just Said Yes November 2024

We do not want to invite our brothers girlfriend to our ceremony

Mary, on November 13, 2024 at 3:20 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 1
We are getting married in a chapel that only seats 50. Since space is so limited we’ve only invited family to the ceremony and the rest of our guests will be attending the reception. Due to the limited seating, my fiancé and I really don’t want to invite his brothers girlfriend to the ceremony, just the reception. However, we do not know how to tell his brother and we don’t believe it will go over well.
A little backstory— we do not have a good relationship with his girlfriend. I believe what sparked her dislike for my fiancé seems to be when she moved in. He had suggested to his brother that she help pay rent, since she lived there. That seems to be what started her hatred for him but I honestly don’t know (she’s kind of just that person who hates everyone). Anyways, she was always outwardly rude/ mean to him and would constantly talk bad about him behind his back to everyone. There’s a million things I could say she’s done to him, from locking him out of his apartment, to locking all the toilet paper, soap, towels ect (that he bought) in a safe in her room. The list goes on- she’s just crazy. Naturally, being in a relationship with my fiancé, she never liked me either. I haven’t done anything rude or unfriendly to her but she has been very rude to me. It’s been going on like this for about 3 years although she has been better about not being rude to our faces. Though we still hear from his family that she talks bad about us behind our backs. Anyways, I don’t have any hard feelings or want to hurt her feelings but my fiancé and I definitely do not want to share this special moment with her given our negative history.
We were wondering how we can approach this subject with his brother and her beforehand. We don’t think they will react well and are scared of the repercussions we may face from them and possibly the rest of his family. Side note— AITA for not wanting her at the ceremony?

1 Comments

Latest activity by Kaitlin, on January 15, 2025 at 11:09 AM
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    Beginner December 2025
    Kaitlin ·
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    I dont see a problem with uninviting her from a small wedding ceremony, and no one else should have a problem with it either considering theyve witnessed her talk negatively about you both. If youre worried about repercussions, I'd suggest you limit your wedding ceremony to only direct family members, and plus ones that are married to your family members. They're not married, so she's not techncially part of your family yet. That being said, I would also try to ensure that your reception and ceremony don't have too big of a time gap inbetwen, and that you have something for guests to do if they arent invited to the actual ceremony. Depending on the venue, you could do drinks and music outside the reception area and welcome guests to walk the grounds during the ceremony? Most couples that would be going would arrive together, and it's unrealistic to expect a couple living together to take different transportation and arrive at different times.

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