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Just Said Yes April 2020

We can't decide on a wedding date :(

Sophia, on October 26, 2019 at 10:20 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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Okay so my fiance and I are in a bit of a tough spot. Pretty much the entire time after we knew we wanted to get married (around March or so) we had the date set on April 11th, 2020. The reasons for this is that it's in between school semesters for us, more of our friends will be able to make it, and it's a spring wedding. We don't want to put off schooling for this, and the date he wants is in May, which is during a semester for us, which guarantees that almost all of our mutual friends won't be able to make it, including one of my bridesmaids, and that my brother won't because he will also be in school. (We all go to the same university).
Here's where it gets complicated. His two sisters are pregnant, one is due a month after the other. His sister is due end of March, and wouldnt be available until May 2nd. She told us to choose whatever date is best for us. His sister in law is due in April, and wouldn't be able to make it until later in May. However, the later we do it, the higher the chance is that my little brother will be on his LDS mission, and if its during a semester, my older brother won't be able to come either.
And my older brother also moved his wedding date up so I could get married in April, because he knows that's all I have talked about since March. And it's kind of at the point where we have to choose between his family or mine.
Am I selfish for saying that I want my family there over his? Hes also closer to more of my family members than I am to his, so its just all weird.
What do you guys think?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Meghan, on October 26, 2019 at 1:45 PM

Master July 2019
Hannah · on October 26, 2019 at 10:29 AM
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It's completely understandable for both of you to want your families there. It would be selfish for either of you to insist your family is more important. As soon as you are married, you are al each other's family. Honestly, since family is so important to you two, I would personally postpone until there is a date where everyone can go. When does your little brother go on his mission trip? It seems like late May or early June or a possibility.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on October 26, 2019 at 10:30 AM
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I am so sorry you are in such a difficult situation. But, to be honest, I think every couple ends up having somebody who cannot make the date they choose. It is in evitable. My only advice would be to choose the option for the “Greater good” (ie, The option that is beneficial for the most amount of people). In your case, it sounds like April would be the date that would work for most people – you and your spouse included. If you had the date in May, you and your spouse will have to miss school, along with your brother, and most of your friends. I am sure the pregnant sisters will understand, it sounds as though they have already given their blessing. Besides, when you are THAT pregnant, going to a wedding isn’t all that fun LOL and who’s to say they will not go into labor early or late, and still not be able to make the date if you postpone it? I would say stick to your April date, and have a guest Livestream the wedding for the sisters at home.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on October 26, 2019 at 10:51 AM
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I would probably have the wedding in April. Aside from the sisters, it sounds like it would be the best date for everyone else. His sisters may be due then, but that doesn't mean that's when they actually have the baby. People have babies late and early all the time. If you are trying to plan around a pregnancy that is extremely difficult to do. My one bridesmaid got married right after her sister gave birth. They knew that's when she was going to likely give birth which meant she would miss the wedding, but they had their wedding planned first.
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Champion July 2019
Veronica · on October 26, 2019 at 11:31 AM
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I would also add that while they say now that they would be available in May that could change once they have the baby. So I would be very hesitant to plan your wedding based around them.
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Devoted April 2020
Meghan · on October 26, 2019 at 1:45 PM
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Have you looked at venues yet? Both of these dates are coming up soon and maybe availability could be another factor in your decision. I think April 11 is a great date (that’s our wedding date!), and sounds like it is better for you as a couple. It’s difficult trying to please everyone and you’re never going to make everyone’s schedules fit perfectly. I say do what’s best for both you and your FH.
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