We can't afford our wedding either :(

Im so sorry you have to go through this! i know it camn be hard to watch other people plan their weeddings. i had to do the same thing when a freind of mine got married. I had just left my bf of 4 years, the guy i thought i was gonna marry and she was planning a wedding. the way i got ast ut was jus really getting invoolved. asa weird as it sounds i just jumped right in to helkp her. it built our relationship and freindship and it was fun! just try your best to be happy for everyone and your time will come

I am so sorry to hear how difficult things have been for you! I can't even imagine. I have watched several of my friends get married around me and now they are all starting to have babies. know that you don't have to be like them. There's nothing in stone saying that you have to be married by a certain day. As long as you are happy with your FH everything should work out soon enough.

Wishing you the best in your planning and I hope it all works out soon for the both of you!

You could always do a courthouse wedding now and save money to have a bigger ceremony and reception at a later date. I know how you are feeling right now though. My mom lost her job over 2 years ago, my dad had to take over a 3 dollar pay cut, and my FH had to take a 5 percent drop in pay...and they are moving his factory over an hour away, plus my checks only amount to like 150 every two weeks. We have no money saved because everything we had went to some unexpected bills. Just remember to stay strong and that good things come to those who wait. Like Cathasach said...there is nothing in stong saying that we have to be married by a certain day or that we have to spend a certain amount of money. As far as your friends getting married. Sometimes it kind of helps to help them out and offer advice because you can feed off of their ideas, then when it comes time for your wedding you will have some great ideas to work off of. Just remember that no matter what your title you are still with

The man of your dreams and love trumps any title!

It's YOUR wedding and a great wedding can be done on a small budget...As a wedding planner for years lots of these comments were correct. Before you visit any venue, make sure you have a list of questions...cost per person, food charges can be extra if it’s not ON the chosen menu. Also if you choose alcohol tat is a huge $$$$$ and read the fine print as the sneak in a lot of little things that add up to a huge dent in your overall budget. Also be careful with your florist that they don't "slip some flowers in on you that you don't need or didn’t order". I geared my company just for brides such as yourself. If I can help you let me know. www.weddingsbytammy.com Best of luck. Tammy

Wedding wire is great. The women and men here are very supportive and are happy to provide advice and ideas. It's also a good place to vent when you need to. Think about what are the most important elements to you and your fh for your wedding. My brother and his wife went to the courthouse and I did a buffet reception for them at my house for 10 people and it was beautiful. I just recently started a business so I had very little discrecionary income. I had 23 people at my wedding and it was perfect. We will go back East and have a party with my extended family and friends next spring. You can have a small wedding now and do a larger event when your situation is more secure. When people ask you what you want for Christmas, tell them to get you a gift cert to your baker or florist or hair salon. Every bit helps.

So sorry to hear about that Nicki, hopefully things will look up soon, just stay positive and stay strong. we here at the wire are here for ya girl

Maybe you can't afford a WEDDING but can you afford to GET MARRIED? the marriage is more important than the wedding. i know it can be difficult when things are going on all around you but just focus on your own relationship. last year my sister and my friend both got engaged within a week of each other and both of them had only been dating a year whereas me and FH had been dating 4 years. Needless to say he was not my favorite person for a couple of weeks. But when I stepped back and looked at things me and my FH had a WONDERFUL relationship. My friend complained about her boyfriend ALLLLLL the time. I honestly didn't know why they were even getting married. My sister and her fiance have since called off their engagement. They never even set a date. Meanwhile I have the love and respect of the best man this side of heaven. We have a loving relationship. We don't fight and argue all the time. So just take stock of what you have. Having a JOP ceremony does not diminish the love you have.

Im sorry that you have to deal with all this.... i agree with some of the otehr brides on here go to the court house or if you know someone who is willing to get ordained you cango to a park or somewhere you like or is special to you then plan your wedding for a few years down the road a few of my friends did the court house thing and renewed their vows at their 5 year it gave them time to save and have the wedding of their dreams and they are able to have any and everything they want cause its planned out well in advance not rushed.

Or if you do the court house have a simple ceremony where a friend stands up and really everyone just hears what you have to say to eachother and the reption can be simple too have your guest bring a dish and have someone bake a cake that way there really is not cost to you and have a friend with a cam to take pic

Great point Mrs Hubbs. You'll be surprised how many people will step up to the plate to help you make your day special. Asking folks to bring a dish is not a bad idea. Or even just have a cake & punch reception.

36 yrs ago: worked 1/2 day, got married at the courthouse, dinner out after with the BM & MOH, home to bed, back to work the next day - no honeymoon, no big celebration - what we could afford without debt. I still remember how special it was to lay in his arms that night, look at the little ($50?) silver knot ring on my finger & feel the warmth and joy of the commitment we'd made to each other. The "stuff" of our union has filled a lifetime together several times over including a honkin' diamond that I seldom wear, many fabulous trips & celebrations for a variety of happy reasons. The now very-tarnished silver knot ring in my jewelry drawer serves as a sweet reminder that for us, the moment of commitment in that blind judge's courthouse office was the purpose of our wedding ... and was enough. Best wishes Nicki.

You could always get married now (with JOP or religious officiant and the marriage license), and then have a big party and ceremony with the dress and the details later. You could even plan a 5 - year vow renewal that would include some of the things you may feel like you are missing out on. If you have a dress and want gorgeous pictures, instead of having "wedding pictures" you could hire a professional photographer to do post-wedding, Trash the dress, or just Bridal portraits.

My husband and I didn't have a lot of money when we got married. The wedding and honeymoon 4 years ago cost a total of $3000, we probably could have even done it for $2000 or less. What matters most though is the $20 marriage license, the $15 wedding band for me, the $10 one for him, and that we love each other, we are committed, and he'll be my husband for the rest of my life.

I'm sorry to hear about this turbalent time for you and your families. Like others have said, you can easily go to any Justice of the Peace to get married for a nominal fee & once you all are financially stable again, you can do a renewal ceremony with a peace of mind. My mother once said to me "things are bad for you right now but if you can weather the storm, sunshine will prevail in the end" - and you know what? The sun did shine (in its own time, not mine). Be blessed!

I really do appreciate all of the advice.

~Tammy, I will definitely check out your site. I have thought of hiring a planner but I am worried about chosing the right one. I know if I do chose the right one it will be worth it but if not??? who knows.

~Lovely Unique...thank you. I may just take you up on your offer because I am up and down about the whole thing...I don't know how to PM though lol

~Ladylee, It is good to hear from you and actually kind of puts me back in reality because one of the girls that is getting married has a terrible relationship and she is in constant competition with me. She is not really even my friend. Her fh is my fh's friend.

I hear everyone on the JOP but I just don't know if it is for us. I guess one of the toughest things is where we want to get married. I grew up in Tahoe and we want to marry there in my home town. I am fine with having a smaller wedding there but venues are outrageously priced. They should have a locals discount

It sounds like you're going through a trying time. I hope things get better soon. I recently read an idea where instead of having people buy gifts for the wedding, the couple set up a "wedding fund" to pay for the party. i.e. people give $$ towards the food at the reception or for the flowers. Also, I understand in the South it's traditional for everyone to bring a dessert potluck/buffet style which I think is kind of cool. Maybe you could do something like that and invest the money in a CD at the bank for a 6 months to a year. Then, take the money out just prior to needing to pay for items. Good luck!

For those brides on a financial budget like I was, I just want to let you know of a terrific website - AGreatAffair.com - it's a cash gift registry. I personally used this registry with my fiance and received enough money to pay for our honeymoon in Maui, Hawaii last year plus part of our wedding expenses. Oncemore, AGreatAffair.com is a cash gift registry that looks and feels like a traditional registry. I'd like other brides to know of this website because I think it's a terrific site for those couples who are on a tight budget like I was. If you're interested, please visit us at AGreatAffair.com and happy planning!

Sorry, it is really hard. My best advice to you would be to focus on saving up or trying to get a second job for another source of income. Also a JOP wedding now and then the vow renewal idea later on down the road doesn't seem like a bad idea at all....If Tahoe it is or bust, maybe get married off season or on a weekday (M-Fri) or try a very scaled down laid back affair, bbq, public beach, brunch, lunch, cake and punch, dessert reception only? You could still have a simple, romantic, DIY, with all your personal touches and unique personalities thrown in. Get your families and friends to help. A friend could even marry you, take pictures, do flowers, diy invites, cake, shop all the sales....Simple and chic is so in! It can be done but you need to be strict on your budget because it is easy to get carried away....It's about the love, not the blowout wedding, even though it's quite nice to attend a blowout wedding!!!

I completely understand. My fiancé is in the Navy and we have been engaged since May of '08. Our original date was set for February of last year, but he was relocated and we couldn't work with his duties. In June, he was diagnosed with lymphoma during a screening for a 6-mouth tour he was scheduled to go on. I'm graduating in May and will bringing a good amount of loans with me, so combined with the medical bills, money is tighter for us because he had planned to pay for the wedding.

I am now a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. We will make it work because we love each other to do what we can. I may not be able to have the wedding I thought I was, but I am more thankful for my fiancé, my family, and being together than I have ever been before.