We agreed to be celibate - Fiance' wants virtual peep show

I think the important thing here is that you’re not comfortable with it. If you guys already had a prior sexual relationship it might be one thing but it doesn’t sound like you want this to be your first sexual experience together. I do believe in compromise but this is a serious issue and I think you should stand your ground.

Agree with PP. You guys made a commitment and even if not, you’ve let him know that you’re uncomfortable with his advances. You shouldn’t have to tell him multiple times.

I feel like you are definitely in the right here, and he is wrong to be pressuring you! It would be one thing if you were having sexual relations in the past. But you made a decision to wait, so he needs to respect that and wait! I also totally agree with you I think the first time this happens being via video chat would be super weird and ruin the intimacy of what should be a very romantic moment...

I agree and disagree with pp's. If he's pressuring you, it's wrong. It doesn't matter if you've had sexual relations in the past or not - if you don't want to, you don't have to and he shouldn't be pressuring you. It's that simple - no is no and if he isn't okay with that there needs to be an open and honest conversation about it with no pressuring on either side. Maybe ask him what changed to change his perspective on the arrangement you had? Either way, pressuring you is not and never will be okay, no matter what the past or present situations are.

I too am an October bride abstaining from sex until marriage!
I agree with your feeling that you’d be breaking covenant with God, and it’s not worth it. If you do show him, or do anything sexual it may make you feel far from God, and make you feel a way with your fiancé since you fell together. I recommend fasting and praying and asking God to keep you and your fiancé strong and give your fiancé the desire to abstain from sex until marriage also. Also try reading the word/ praying more together for those things. Also maybe consider cutting out the night video chats if it tends to be the time for temptation. Continue staying strong, God is so so pleased and it is so so worth it! Remember, for every temptation, God gives us a way of escape. Praying for you both!

View Quoted Comment Daisha, wow!!! I am totally blown away. Thank you for your words of encouragement. I especially like your suggestion of cutting out the temptation of video chats at night where temptation rises. My fiance' is incredibly strong mentally and has a great deal of self control. I'm starting to see the closer we get to our wedding date (and we may actually elope within a month) that his desire is getting stronger. I felt showing him would curb his appetite and keep him satisfied, however, I know this will only push him to want more eventually. Our goal is to wait. You're absolutely right, Daisha. We both need to pray and wait. It's a good thing to wait. :-)

What daisha said. My now hubby and I are widower/widow who married. We lived across town and we practiced celebacy before our I do's. We talked on the phone daily, we had one date per week. We were 55/me 65/he at the time and have a ton of respect for each other. We met at our church so we held strong beliefs about waiting. We beat the temptations many times by not putting ourselves in situations. We dated ole skool so to speak...lol. I had a self made curfew. Our dates were always parks, beaches...in other words public and we set 9pm as the end of the dates. Now for us that was perfect as we are older and we both declared we needed our senior sleep...lol, so there was never any sexting not sex talk during our courtship is the term we used. We stayed the course as instructed by the word. So as daisha said, temper the temptations. Modify the video chats, communicate how it makes it uncomfortable for you. If he is the man God has sent you, he will respect your wishes and the pact you both agreed on. That's my nugget.

View Quoted Comment Hi Rea! Thank you for the nugget os wisdom. I appreciate that bc I was starting to feel gyilty for not giving him that small part. He feels/felt we're not having sex so we should be able to show things virtually. However, my better judgement feels we should remain completly free of virtual anything so that we're not wanting more and are also pure at heart. I know it's hard for him. A small part of me feels I'm withholding and its been so long but I also know it's for our good. Our wedding is just a few months away and at that time, we can do whatever and as much as we like. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment Awwh, No problem at all! We all need the encouragement! I completely understand.
I love Rea’s advice also, I agree with it 100%.
Keep fighting the good fight! You got this, we’re all rooting for you!