Was denied the time off for my honeymoon 😭

I wouldn't be so quick to quit my job if I were you. I would go to the other girl who took the time off and see if you two could figure something out. I don't know what she took the time off for, but maybe she'll agree that a honeymoon is a very important life event! If nothing works out, maybe try to push back your honeymoon during a school break. So that way your FH doesn't miss any class. I know that's not ideal, but it sounds like there is no ideal way out of this scenario.

Ugh, I’m so sorry you’re going through this! My knee jerk reaction is to resign, two weeks before your wedding date, and have a job lined up on return.

In any case, I’m hoping things work out in your favor.

I'm not sure that I'd quit your job just because of that. Could you wait a little and do something over winter or spring break instead when your FH doesn't have classes?

View Quoted Comment I love this idea!
We got engaged on vacation this past January and this was his plan if his time off didn't get approved, lol. Luckily they approved it

Would a December honeymoon be possible? Or I agree of talking to your coworker to see if she’s able to chance her dates.

Is yiur our wedding date flexible? Or have you booked venue already?

I had to postpone my honeymoon by 3 months because my coworker is having a baby just about the same time as our wedding. I'm okay with it. I was okay being flexible for my dream honeymoon!

That is sill but I wouldn't leave a job (especially a good paying one) yet. See if the coworker can switch with you. If not, what about a mini-moon and then a honeymoon later? Honestly, we we exhausted after our wedding (we both look that week off and had family staying with us a few days). We decided to enjoy a mini-moon for a few nights at our resort which was heavenly not having to go ANYWHERE. We want to take a 2 week official honeymoon later--more time and money then. Can you consider this idea?

That is so frustrating! With my line of work I knew I could not do a summer wedding, luckily I’m a few of the crazies that actually loves winter and wasn’t opposed to a December wedding, which is a super slow month for work.

I would recommend talking to the other girl and seeing if she would be willing to push her vacation time! It’s worth an ask. But don't leave your job unless you have a backup, you don’t want to start your marriage stressed due to finances shifting.

Can you just take your honeymoon over your fiancé’s thanksgiving or Christmas break?

I think it’s a bit crazy to quit a job for a honeymoon. I know a honeymoon is nice but so is consistent money. We are taking three days and going somewhere within a 4 hour drive after the wedding and taking a honeymoon next year cause we can’t get that much time off work this either. It’s not the end of the world and I’m thankful I have a good paying job and this will allow us to have an even better honeymoon than if we had done it right after spending a ton on a wedding.

Ask a manager is a great advice column on topics like this! I think the way your job is handling this is absurd. The other woman can move her trip or they can find a way to accommodate this request for you to celebrate this once in a life time occasion!

I'd quit over this. Start job hunting now. Once you get an offer, mention the trip, they would more than likely be able to work with you on it.

I personally think it would be rude to ask the other girl to switch her weeks. She asked first, she has seniority, that's life.

I also think it would be ridiculous to quit a job you otherwise are satisfied with over a vacation.

Delay it to a time that you and your husband can both go, it's really not that big of a deal.

Quitting your job would be silly. I understand your frustration if that’s what you’ve had your heart set on but sometimes life doesn’t work out say planned. There’s no reason you can’t take your honeymoon over thanksgiving/winter/spring break.

For reference, my fiancé accepted a job out of state which forced me to get a new job. I started July 23rd and wedding is August 11th. I only 5 days of vacation so I’m just taking the Friday before off and going straight back to work Monday. Does it suck? Yeah, a little but like I said life happens and we have to be flexible.

I would leave a job where I couldn’t take off 18 months in advance. What happens if you fall sick during that time? They’d find a way to manage correct? I would look for a job with life-work balance and that job doesn’t seem conducive with that. As long as you let potential employers know about you wedding/honeymoon that’s a year away, it shouldn’t be a problem

I would definitely talk to the other girl who requested the time off and explain the situation! Maybe she will let you go instead!

Honestly my FH said he would quit his job if they won’t let him go on our honeymoon, but that’s only because they were being extremely unreasonable about it (his company’s system won’t let you request until 3 months in advance, but he asked his boss for verbal permission 11 months in advance and she’s like “you’re gonna do what you’re gonna do but I’m NOT happy about it” ... and still refuses to give him written confirmation 🙄) but we booked our flights anyway because she’s being terribly unreasonable and we can’t possibly wait to book our flights/hotels until 3 months beforehand so. That’s a little different.

Im definitely not advising that you quit your job, but if you do decide to get another job, you should mention right off the bat that you’re getting married and will need x days off for your honeymoon. Many companies will let you borrow PTO from yourself, especially if it’s a preplanned vacation. ie I started a new job in June, only have 2 days of PTO accumulated so far but my boss is letting me take 3 days off next week since I told him right upfront before accepting the job that I already had a trip planned and would need 3 days off in August.

So that’s my advice IF you decide to get another job. I’m not saying you SHOULD do that, but it’s also not “crazy” to want your honeymoon! How much do you like your job? How easily could you find a new one? There’s a lot of factors here.

My first suggestions would definitely be to talk to the other girl who’s taking time off. Maybe she can push/move up her trip! And if not, I definitely wouldn’t push the wedding further, but could you do a mini moon the weekend after the wedding, and then a delayed big trip later on? It’s not ideal, but I feel like delaying the honeymoon is better than delaying the wedding!

im so sorry you’re in this situation!

Are you able to speak with the other employee who requested off? That really sucks it's based off seniority, because this is YOUR HONEYMOON! And who the heck requests off so far in advance (except for a wedding?) lol. Maybe that person would be willing to be understanding and move her vacation to another time?

Your honeymoon is a once in a lifetime experience, but many people do have to wait unfortunately. What happens if you call out of work for the week? Are there jobs easily available in your field? You also don't want to be broke after a wedding, trust me!

My fiance left his high paying job, took a month off work while he started a new hourly job - because we really wanted to travel and take time for our wedding. His original position would not have allowed us to do this. BUT in his field, jobs are easily available and he got a new great job right after our honeymoon. But we've had to struggle a bit financially during that transition.

This is a hard call, so it depends on what you can do in your field. Sorry this happened to you

Also just to add, I would definitely wait to quit your job until the wedding gets closer. Like, if you are going to do that, you should start applying to other jobs now, see if you can find anything, and if you do then you can either 1) quit right away and start the new job or 2) tell them that your start date is after the honeymoon, and then put your 2 weeks notice in at your old job 2 weeks before the wedding.

If you do #2 you won’t be getting paid for the time you’re on your honeymoon, but it also won’t be counting as PTO so there’s pros and cons.

When you asked for these dates 18 months ago how did your employer respond? I’m confused if you already had these days approved and now a more senior team member is getting the days you requested off already. If your employer agreed to give you these days off before and they are now changing their decision for this other person to take their days off instead, yeah I would be annoyed enough to quit.

I'd quit but not until I found another job (unless you guys are in a spot you could be out of work for a bit) my fiance got offered a job and told the employer right then he already jas a trip set and they agreed to let him take it off with no pay. So its possible.

I quit my job when they wouldn't approve my vacation to go home for my sister and my best friends weddings. (One week apart) I started a new job and just told them ahead of time that I already had these plans, they agreed to hire me even with an upcoming vacation. I worked one week, left for two weeks lol then came back to my new job. Good luck!

The other girl won’t switch. I guess she takes these two weeks off for her daughters birthday every year (he daughter is in her 20s) and won’t give it up. I already waited 18 months when I didn’t want to. I don’t want to give up our dream honeymoon because of a job I’m currently not happy at. Thank you all for your input