For those of you who are about to get married, here are some warning signs I disregarded during my relationship which has led to major pain, hurt, and heartbreak within marriage. I am hoping this helps at least one person.
Warning Signs: I should have listened to or noticed before I got married, which I ignored so watch out for these if you aren't married yet: (This was prior to marriage, and some continued into marriage)
1) Ethics, Morals, and Religious Beliefs ( Do you have the same core values)
2) Communication ( Open, Honest, Transparent, can you be all these with your partner)
3) Comprehension ( Does your partner hear and understand you when you communicate)
4) Family Upbringing ( Compare your family to your future family, how will holidays be with them getting together)
5) Abuse (Physical, Mental, or Emotional) *You should be gaining a partner in marriage, not someone who tears you down*
6) Sex ( How do you and your partner feel about it)
* Are you waiting for sex until marriage?
* Does your partner use it to get things they want from you?
* Do you know the difference in Sex and Affection?
* Do you know that Sex is not the answer for conflict
7) Conflict Resolution (How will you or do you resolve conflicts which arise)
8) Issuing Ultimatums ( If you have to do this, then your partner doesn't respect you and your wants/needs)
9) Broken Promises
10) Different versions of the same story, sometimes subtle changes
11) Hesitation on making decisions ( Answering the proposal, Wedding Planning, House search, etc)
12) Not on the same page or seeing eye-to-eye on making big decisions ( Kids, House, Careers, etc)
13) Boastful, Proud, Putting others down around? Sound like your partner ?
14)Feelings of extreme Doubt, Worry, etc.
15) Feelings of wanting to postpone your wedding ( If you feel this way, DO IT)
16) Feeling of losing oneself
17) Planning your wedding alone - This isn't just one persons dream, it should be our dream.**
** Dear Men,
Yes, your future wife has dreamed of this moment for a very long time. This does not mean she wants to plan every single aspect of it by herself. She wants your input, she wants "OUR WEDDING" to reflect a part of you and a part of her being joined together for the rest of your lives. She wants and needs your help for this task sets up the tone for your marriage.
Hope this helps! Best Wishes for you and your upcoming Wedding
I could go on, but these are some of the signs which were ignored. Please be true to yourself, if you don't feel ready then don't do it. If you have any doubts or worry, think it through for a while. I hope this helps.
