Wanting to quit and throw the whole wedding away

Have you considered hiring a day of coordinator? It seems like your budget is tight, but I am sure you can advertise on social media and someone who loves planning or maybe trying to start up their business can help you out. Of course, you also have us here on WW to throw out ideas too.. Just pick one task at a time to work on.. you will get through it!

I feel exactly the same way. I could have wrote that except my wedding is less than 2 months away. I wish we would have spent the money on a honeymoon and just eloped. We talked about canceling or rescheduling 2 days ago.. but ours is an international destination wedding and 50 people have already booked flights and hotel.

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I'm sorry you feel this way too, but I am glad I am not the only one that feels this way. I'm sure yours will be beautiful. I guess our sanity is just having to go on the line until we get it over with. Its defintely not the fun exciting thing you think of when you think of a wedding

My FHs cousin had a 3 week engagement and did something similar to what you've described. They just had some white chairs for guests on the beach, a wooden arbor that they had decorated with flowers and a bit of tulle and they had a table right before the sand because they were doing a rock ceremony. Dont stress too much (I know, easy to say SO much harder to do). Only do what makes you happy. A wedding can be whatever you want it to be. It could just be an arbor and some chairs if that's what you want or you can make a big thing of it. Maybe find a local restaurant to cater so you have less to think about, and I've noticed they can be cheaper sometimes. Good luck and happy planning! 🍀

During my wedding planning I had those thoughts all the time ! It gets overwhelming but it's really all worth it once it's over. I think when you get into that mindset it's good to end up simplifying things so it's less stress

I've honestly been done with everything for my wedding about 3 months into the planning. We already picked out our venue (catering/booze included), photographer & booth, cake, and DJ. All the major stuff was done and paid for. Everything else? Small and large annoyances and people won't shut up about the wedding and giving their two cents. It's great that my FH is so involved in planning, even if we step on each other's toes when it comes to music or a small detail... but it does get rather aggravating when everyone starts putting their hand in the honeypot to have a word.

Hell, my MIL did something this week that I know is sweet and it's supposed to come off that way, but it's totally bummed me out... and I kind of feel obligated to do it since she paid for it.

I'm so glad my wedding is on Saturday, I'm just ready for the Honeymoon.

Also, easier said than done as you are pointing out... don't compare. Just be happy you're marrying someone you love. Though, tbh -- if I didn't have my FH at least giving me feedback, I'm pretty sure I'd be ripping my hair out, too.

Is there a reason he's not interested in helping out on a day that's about you two and not just you? Kinda seems unfair to have you shoulder all the stress and him just skip along, scott free. Not that you want to add stress to him, but this is a decision you two make -together-.

View Quoted Comment Because he doesn't care about the wedding he just wants to have fun and party with everyone after. Plus it doesn't help that were two different types of people I'm one that wants everything planned out and what not where he doesn't care how things go at all so I think that's part of why he doesn't care. Also he says planning weddings is for women. And I guess so in the fact that most start imagining how their wedding will be when they are young, only problem for me is I was the one that said I was never getting married because it's to much for a piece of paper so I guess that doesn't help with making it super hard for me

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I'm going to be as nice as possible when I try and phrase this, but why have the wedding -- then? What's the point in it if he doesn't care about it other than to have free booze and food... that isn't free. Yeah, it's a big party -- but it's a celebration of two people coming together, being together. None of that screams: 'one person does all this to make that happen'. You deserve to have this if you want it, but it's a team thing. Even if you do the majority, input is still expected from the other party.

If he's just excited for you to shoulder the stress for some big elaborate party, you really should reevaluate what you're doing. That's 100% not fair to you. It's not the "woman" job.

I don't think I would have married my FH if he treated the wedding like this. I'd rather have eloped and had a small family get-together. Wedding planning is stressful as is... without being the only one doing it and it's planned out. You being 'plan' oriented doesn't excuse him for not wanting to do anything... you have to pick venue, date, cake, dj/music, photographer, suits, dress, dresses, theme, etc -- those things don't just come out of thin air and magically appear in your lap.

Honestly, if it's easier on you -- courthouse and small family/friend gathering. I wouldn't fault you for that and if you think spending thousands on a wedding isn't your style... you saved money. If he doesn't want it that way, then he needs to put a word in and stop expecting you to do it all.

Maybe have a more relaxed wedding with a simple venue and decor with great food/drinks. My husband was the opposite very involved and almost frustrated me because I couldn't do some things I wanted but it was helpful.
I wish you had someone willing to help you because I adore weddings and planning though it has its moments where you want to quit.
Another thing to consider is have you put money into things that aren’t refundable? Maybe you can elope somewhere pretty have you and him plus a few witnesses and a photographer and then have a party that day or another day to celebrate & have fun.
Hope this helps!

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I agree with everything Stephanie said. Lots of men are involved in the wedding process. Heck, my fiancée is so invested in every little detail. Playing it off as the "woman's job" is not cool. If he doesn't care about a wedding then I think a bigger discussion needs to be had. Good luck !

View Quoted Comment See I dont agree with either of you at all. I dont believe I should decide I dont want to marry someone because they dont have an interest in planning a wedding. To me to decide to marry someone because they want to help plan a wedding sounds like you should rethink why you are marrying a person. I dont believe because someone doesn't want to plan a wedding doesn't mean they dont love someone. Because hell I dont want to plan a wedding either.

View Quoted Comment Plus there are actually multiple threads on here where tons of women have said their FH doesn't want anything to do with the decisions of planning a wedding

I'm sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed! To get help from FH, there's something that's helped me. If I want my FH to do something wedding related, I give him a very specific task. For example, I asked him to find a videographer. Maybe being more direct would help a bit! Best of luck!

Not sure of your budget...but I know of a reasonable day-of planner who does beach weddings in Hilton Head. I can't remember how far that is from Myrtle Beach. The company is called Weddings by Joy if you are interested.

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Totally get what you are saying. There's definitely many men who aren't interested in planning. i think my response refers to your quote "Because he doesn't care about the wedding". I interpreted that as he doesn't care about getting married. My apologies.