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Super April 2020

Want to vent! Should i move the date?

Anna, on July 8, 2019 at 1:22 AM Posted in Planning 0 10

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My fiance and I do not live together. We're also waiting. I love him so much and can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. We are planning a very small wedding of only 50. We just wanted a church and to take everyone out to eat. Simple.
The original date we picked was Oct 5th. We were not planning on telling anyone, (cause were paying for everything) until maybe a few months before the wedding. My sister decided to have a quince and booked her church on my original day. Remember no one knew. We didnt booked anything yet, we just talked about it. I hate the cold so we decided april 18 was a good day to pick.
My mom brought up the whole "if I'm having a small wedding, why are we waiting." We have the church booked that day but no one in my family knows the date. The thing with moving the wedding earlier is, we wont get the venue we want and we still haven't picked a place to live yet. The venue is really nice and she only rents it out during the spring and fall. More cause of weather wise.
Since my mom made that comment, I've been thinking about it a lot and it's been bugging me. I dont know. I just wanted to vent. Get you guys perspective on it. I keep telling myself the wedding is just one day, marriage is forever. I dont want to make such a drastic decision because I just want to be married to him already.

*I already have a lot of stuff booked and my wedding dress already.
*we would probably move it to jan or Feb. Just in case anyone wanted to know.

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on July 8, 2019 at 10:40 AM

VIP September 2019
CDickman · on July 8, 2019 at 2:50 AM
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I am confused. You say just church and restaurant. Then you talk about a venue renting the space.
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Super April 2020
Anna · on July 8, 2019 at 3:35 AM
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It's restaurant in a way. Originally we just wanted a reasturaunt but we found this little venue that holds 50 people. It's only food. So basically it is one.
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Expert August 2019
Sherrie · on July 8, 2019 at 3:48 AM
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I would do what works best for you two. My fiance and I have waited two and a half years - also not living together and also waiting. I get the struggle haha but I also say do what is best for you both. People will have opinions about your date no matter what. Talk it over, choose the date between the two of you, then let a few select people know who you absolutely want to be there. The rest can find out later.
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Super April 2020
Anna · on July 8, 2019 at 4:58 AM
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So you know exactly what I'm going through lol. It sucks cause I don't have a lot of friends who do. But thank you for your advice. This calmed me down a lot. I'll just stick with my day. I love the little venue we want to get and it just makes sense. Thanks again 😁
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Super September 2019
Courtney · on July 8, 2019 at 5:55 AM
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I would do what works for you and your FS. You are the people in the relationship and while family is usually trying to be supportive they aren’t necessarily in the situation. I agree that a wedding is one day and the marriage is what it’s all about. I would probably pick a date and then tell your closest family and friends that you need there. It will allow them to mark their calendars but also might take away some of the “change the date” stress once you’ve shared the date and made your decision.
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 8, 2019 at 7:30 AM
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I think now that you everything booked you can start telling people and it'll take off some of the pressure.
As far as your mother goes back in the day you only planned for a large scale wedding because of how long it took to get everything, such a small wedding would have been done quicker, but in today's world planning isn't as cheap or easy as it once was, so even small weddings can take a year to plan. I'm only having 65 people and it's taking me well over a year to plan it.
You're choosing a church and venue that you want to make the first day of your marriage a celebration you'll both enjoy, it's worth the wait and you'll have an excellent sense of relief together the day after. Don't let mean comments get to you too hard, you deserve to have the wedding you want.
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Expert August 2020
Arielle · on July 8, 2019 at 8:14 AM
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I'd stick with the day you chose. Seems like you already put a lot of thought into what you want to do for your wedding. There's no rush, and everyone always has an opinion on your wedding. Follow your heart!
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Master September 2019
Mrs. H · on July 8, 2019 at 8:36 AM
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If it were me, I wouldn't let my family influence my wedding date. You and FH have picked a date, and it seems like it works best for you for a myriad of reasons. I wouldn't move your wedding up just because it's "small". Take all the time you need
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Expert November 2019
Kiley · on July 8, 2019 at 10:38 AM
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Don't change your plans just because you're mother said something. Regardless of how big or how small your wedding is, you should still have the date and location that you envision!
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Expert May 2020
Erin · on July 8, 2019 at 10:40 AM
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We're also not living together and waiting, but I feel like I'm waiting forever! I would personally love to move the wedding up, but it's not in our budget to do so until next year (we have lots and lots of family and are paying for the whole thing ourselves). I would personally get married sooner because that means I would get to spend more time with my FH. You may have to sacrifice your venue, but it may also be cheaper to get married in a church and then go to a nice restaurant (so that's a plus!). I think the question is how important is it where you get married?
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