This is more about my friend than anything, about 2 different topics. I'm officially engaged, and planning my wedding. My friend has been with her boyfriend for about 5 years, and while they are not engaged, she already has most of her wedding planned out (including the date, of late 2021). Sorry, I didn't realize how long of a post this would be. I do understand that it is my friend's wedding & choice, and my opinion won't matter to her (which I've already talked to her about topic 2, and it's "what she wants"), but I'm hoping I'm not the only one thinking that she doesn't know the stress she is about to be in...
Topic 1: When I first got engaged, she immediately asked if she was going to be a bridesmaid. First, I find that rude to ask, because I do I respond without being rude? I just told her I knew who my MOH was, and wasn't quite sure of anyone else yet. As a little background, she's been talking about her wedding a tad bit longer, and she had said in the past that I was to be one of her bridesmaids. Great, thankfully, it doesn't have to be reciprocated, right? Well, I sent out STDs a couple weeks ago, which has my wedding website, and FH and I have our wedding party listed. We have 3 on each side, and I decided against having her as a bridesmaid (for multiple reasons). We were talking the other day, after she had probably seen that she wasn't a bridesmaid, and instead of saying "you guys" when referring to her bridesmaids (because I was supposed to be one of them), she kept saying "they/them", indicating that I wasn't an option for her anymore. I think it is a bit petty that even though she said I would be one, since I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid, she's more or less taking it back. While I'm honestly not that hurt about it, I think it's kind of wrong. Nothing has really been said about it otherwise, so hopefully I won't have drama to deal with it down the road.
Topic 2: She wants to self-cater....for 100 people...in a state park... I was trying to tell her how it could all go wrong. First, she mentioned about having fish tacos (no other options). My first thought was...well, I know two people who aren't eating then. My mom and I both do not eat fish. And out of 100 people, I'm sure there would be others who either don't eat, or are even allergic to fish. But of course, she'll have the food safety issue too. How would you expect to keep fish up to temperature for a couple hours, cook it all safely, and serve it safely, in a state park? Then she mentioned smoked pork, again no other options. That I would eat, but what about the people who don't eat pork? And how do you expect to smoke enough for 100 people in a timely manner, and again, focus on keeping it up to food safety standards? And most importantly, who is going to be cooking all of this food? I know I won't want to help, I'm there as a guest, plus I'll be coming from out of state! Obviously, I can't tell her what to do with her wedding...but if she's going to self cater for 100 people, and have one of those options, then I'll probably just bring my own food so I know it'll be safe to eat, and I know I'll enjoy it.
I have been to a self catered wedding, but there were about 30 people. It was at her MIL's home, where they had an accessible kitchen. And it was simple: deli sandwiches, chips & dip, veggie/fruit tray. So, for a small wedding, I have nothing against self catering. But I guess it just depends on the food, accessibility, and who would end up cooking/serving/providing the food....I personally don't plan on letting my guests do anything, except to be there, enjoy food and party.
