Want to elope but don't want to invite brother's girlfriend. What should i do?

Ahh this is so hard! But if your brother isn’t sure she’s the one then she definitely shouldn’t be there. Also, given that your close friends won’t even attend .. she should understand. I would just tell your brother that you would really like to remember your wedding day with just you and your family. It’s awful enough you have to go through this due to COVID-19. He should explain to her that it will only be the 5 of you and she can meet up with you guys after lol.

I hope I don't sound heartless when I say I wouldn't invite her. Especially if your brother isn't sure if she's "the one". I'd hate to have to cut people out of pictures later. It's your wedding. You should be able to invite any person you like and not the ones you don't, even if it wasn't a family-only affair. Just my opinion, but congratulatioooooons on your upcoming wedding!!!!

If you were having a regular wedding I’d say you have to invite her, but I think it may even be a bit weird to have her there if it’s literally JUST your parents and brother. I say keep it to just them, you don’t need to invite her.

Ifeel you don't have to feel obligated to invote her to ypur wedding. Plus ots mote intiment so she would have to understand shes not invited its your day not hers

This is a tought one but kindly tell her family only. She's not a gamily member. This is your elopment and a once in a lifetime event and you have a right to choose. You shouldn't have someone aharing in an intimate ceremony who could be gone out of your life tomorrow. Continue to be nice and kind to her; even if you don't like her, however, this event, she simply can't attend.

As things stand, she is living with you in whose house?
Will you, brother, and girlfriend live there together after marriage, or are you 2 moving out?

I’m not trying to be rude but who is she a gf not a wife so if she feels some why she get her out y’all house 🤷🏾‍♀️ sorry not sorry it’s your day you’ll have to look back and the photos in the long run and if the don’t get married I’m pretty sure you’ll be like ugh why did I invite her anyway.

I would talk to your brother about it. Just let him know you will only be having him and your parents. I wouldnt mention to him about him not being sure if shes the one he might get offended or push for you to invite her.
Id say still be nice to her but be firm on who you want at your wedding and dont give in just because someone might make you feel obligated

Normally I say you have to invite anyone’s SO. But since you’d be truly only inviting your parents and your brother, it’s really family only. I would let your brother know but also be prepared for a potential response of “either she goes or I don’t.” If it comes to that (hopefully it won’t), will you be ok with one of those options and be prepared to tell him which one?

In these circumstances I would not invite her.

Who is "we" that she lives with? You and FH? You and your parents? You, your parents, and your brother? I guess I just don't know how it will work if you and family all get ready to go to your wedding and she's left alone at home. Awkward!

I mean, I agree if you don't want her there you can use the "family only" excuse to leave her out, but I agree with your FH. If she does turn out to be the one, leaving her out is going to cause hard feelings going forward.

She doesn't live with us (my FH, my brother, and I) she lives at home but during the COVID-19 stuff, she basically moved in. But technically doesn't live with us.

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Judith - she is staying with us but the house is my brother's and I, we bought it together and plan on selling and splitting the profits once my FH and I decide to have some kids.

View Quoted Comment So brother has as much right to the house as you do. And he has as much right to move her in, as you have to move in your FI.
How would you feel if he rejected your FI, the way you are rejection g his girlfriend? For all bro knows, you two may separate a year after you marry. Why should he allow your Fiance and soon husband to be treated like family and continue to live there, once you have shown no respect at all for him, by not accepting his chosen SO? Except for violence, or ongoing criminal acts, the reason family are always invited with SO, is to prevent families from splitting apart when grown children or siblings choose mates. It is not up to you to pass judgement on his SO. Tell him she is invited, though if he wants to come alone , that is fine too. Your parents ts are a couple, you and FI see yourselves as a couple. If bro sees her as his SO, even for a significant period of time ( but never marriage), he is entitled to be treated respectfully, which means anyone he designates as his SO, gets accepted as he has accepted your FI. Take some pics of 3 family members and you two, and some with girlfriend added. People carry this, don't want a stranger at my wedding stuff too far. Bro has a right to have his choices respected. You can always actually elope, which is going off and getting married, just yourself. But to invite him nicely, then slap the other side of his face by rejecting his chosen person, does not seem right to me.

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I had already been living with my FH for 3 years before getting the house with my brother. I do think it's different with me being with someone for almost 7 years vs him dating for less than two. But thank you for your point of view!

My FH’s brother eloped a few years ago with immediate family and very close friends. I wasn’t invited. It hurt a little bit, but I got over it and I wasn’t insulted or even upset enough to say anything about it. Hopefully she understands, but it also might give your brother a view of her “true colors” if she’s really that awful, if she blows up about it.

I think as long as your brother is aware and okay with her not being invited, no big deal. That said, the living dynamic definitely will lend itself to much more awkward interactions if she is bothered by it.

I would not invite her if they aren't married and you're really doing only family. If you have no friends coming and literally just your brother and parents, then she doesn't need to be there, especially if you don't like her. It's your wedding and it's a very intimate affair; you're justified in not inviting her.