Lexi
Just Said Yes August 2021

Vows

Lexi, on March 22, 2021 at 8:35 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
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I have a speech impediment which makes the idea of saying vows in front of a large crowd completely off the table. My fiancé and I don’t want to do a first look but I’m not sure how to make private vows and no first look work together. Any ideas are appreciatedSmiley smile

11 Comments

Latest activity by Elly, on April 6, 2021 at 3:37 AM
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan ·
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    You could write each other letters that you read right before the ceremony starts. You could also do a recorded video and have someone close to you deliver it to the other person.

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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    Instead of a first look, you could sit on opposite sides of a door or wall where you can't see each other, but can hear each other (and even do a "first touch", where you can hold hands but not see each other), and you could use that time to also read your vows to each other before the ceremony! You could have your officiant there to witness your vows as well.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You could read your vows to each other after the ceremony during cocktail hour.
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  • Grace
    Rockstar February 2022
    Grace ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I am thinking of doing this to help with my FH's anxiety since I know it will be off the charts. Neither of us have your exact issue as far as speech impediment but it sounds like it would also allow you the privacy to have your moment together and still have him see you for the first time when walking down the aisle.
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Write each other letters to read at the same time before the ceremony that include your vows!

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  • Meaghan
    Savvy July 2022
    Meaghan ·
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    Just say them quietly to each other at the ceremony, like you normally speak to each other. No one can usually hear wedding vows under the best circumstances anyway! Did you even watch Four Weddings, they are always saying the cant hear them! If anyone says I couldn't hear your vows just say, geez the mic must have been glitchy.

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  • Meaghan
    Savvy July 2022
    Meaghan ·
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    Also, everyone at your wedding is already aware of your speech issues (my son has one too) and they dont care, they love you and are going to be happy for you. Dont stress about it. This is just you surrounded by the people who love you most.

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  • Allie
    Super November 2021
    Allie ·
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    I had a friend who did this, and it was really really sweet. Then the officiant just announced during the vow period that they had already exchanged vows privately and did a very short run through of a couple traditional vows, and they just responded "I do" once. The photos come out really cute with this idea as well!

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  • JM Sunshine
    August 2020
    JM Sunshine ·
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    Vows 1
    My daughter and her FH did this also before the ceremony (although the photographer caught her trying to sneak a peak while he was saying his private vows).
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  • Alexandra
    Beginner December 2021
    Alexandra ·
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    Could you tell your pastor to just have the “I do’s”?


    Have all other quests give toasts? Could groom give a big thank you when it’s your time to say your toast/gratitude? Thank you cards on the tables?
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  • E
    Dedicated April 2023
    Elly ·
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    Here are a few ideas:

    Have a "just the two of us" ceremony between your fiancé and you, officiated by whomever you choose. This can work if you want to get the "pre-wedding" jitters out, and can make it sweet by saying something to the effect of, "This is what I really want my heart to say".

    -Can work great if you want the feeling of "elopement" before the big ceremony.
    -You have the option of dressing more casually for this moment.
    -Can make it into a memory of its own: Do it at sunrise, have a friend or two pray with you, take pictures, etc.

    For your ceremony in front of family, you can have the officiant do the "asking" so you can respond minimally if you want.


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