I have a speech impediment which makes the idea of saying vows in front of a large crowd completely off the table. My fiancé and I don’t want to do a first look but I’m not sure how to make private vows and no first look work together. Any ideas are appreciated
Instead of a first look, you could sit on opposite sides of a door or wall where you can't see each other, but can hear each other (and even do a "first touch", where you can hold hands but not see each other), and you could use that time to also read your vows to each other before the ceremony! You could have your officiant there to witness your vows as well.
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I am thinking of doing this to help with my FH's anxiety since I know it will be off the charts. Neither of us have your exact issue as far as speech impediment but it sounds like it would also allow you the privacy to have your moment together and still have him see you for the first time when walking down the aisle.
Just say them quietly to each other at the ceremony, like you normally speak to each other. No one can usually hear wedding vows under the best circumstances anyway! Did you even watch Four Weddings, they are always saying the cant hear them! If anyone says I couldn't hear your vows just say, geez the mic must have been glitchy.
Also, everyone at your wedding is already aware of your speech issues (my son has one too) and they dont care, they love you and are going to be happy for you. Dont stress about it. This is just you surrounded by the people who love you most.
I had a friend who did this, and it was really really sweet. Then the officiant just announced during the vow period that they had already exchanged vows privately and did a very short run through of a couple traditional vows, and they just responded "I do" once. The photos come out really cute with this idea as well!
JM Sunshine ·
My daughter and her FH did this also before the ceremony (although the photographer caught her trying to sneak a peak while he was saying his private vows).
Have a "just the two of us" ceremony between your fiancé and you, officiated by whomever you choose. This can work if you want to get the "pre-wedding" jitters out, and can make it sweet by saying something to the effect of, "This is what I really want my heart to say".
-Can work great if you want the feeling of "elopement" before the big ceremony. -You have the option of dressing more casually for this moment. -Can make it into a memory of its own: Do it at sunrise, have a friend or two pray with you, take pictures, etc.
For your ceremony in front of family, you can have the officiant do the "asking" so you can respond minimally if you want.