Sabrina472
Devoted July 2016

Vows too long?

Sabrina472, on March 2, 2016 at 8:34 PM Posted in Do It Yourself 0 13
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FH and I are writing our vows. That being said, I don't know how to do that from scratch. So a few months ago, I scoured the internet for examples of vows. I saved the ones that really spoke to me in a document. The other day, I went through them, removed redundancies, pared them down as much as I could, re-worded to improve the flow... and it's still 258 words. That's pretty long, although I've seen one or two almost as long. But I love them all, and I really want to promise all of these things. How long is too long for vows?

13 Comments

Latest activity by Sabrina472, on August 30, 2019 at 6:40 AM
  • BlueHenBride
    Master March 2017
    BlueHenBride ·
    • Flag

    Show them to your officiant and get his or her take on the length. He or she will have the experience to know what is too long.

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  • R
    Super September 2016
    Retired ·
    • Flag

    How long does it take you to read them? It's hard to judge how many words is too many, but I would say no more than a minute per person for vows.

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  • Sabrina472
    Devoted July 2016
    Sabrina472 ·
    • Flag

    It starts out with an opening statement, which I don't consider a vow exactly; then 9 promises. I'm pretty sure I could read them in a minute, although if the officiant is saying each one and I'm repeating, it might be more. She will definitely be giving me her input, though. This is my third marriage. Somehow I feel a lot stronger about what I can and can't promise, since obviously my previous vows didn't hold up. I think that's why they are long maybe?

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  • N
    Master October 2016
    no1 ·
    • Flag

    I would say 1-2 min. Not many people want to hear some one gush for more than that.

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  • Kelly M.
    Super October 2016
    Kelly M. ·
    • Flag

    That seems too long for me. Less is more. Your vows will have more impact if they're simple, and your loved ones will be more engaged if the ceremony doesn't get bogged down.

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  • R
    Super September 2016
    Retired ·
    • Flag

    I think you can get 9 promises done in a minute with your officiant asking you to repeat them, but definitely get their input.

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  • Sabrina472
    Devoted July 2016
    Sabrina472 ·
    • Flag

    I know I asked for advice, and I appreciate it. But... one minute? Out of the 20 - 30 minutes of the ceremony, the arguably most important part should take only one minute (per person)? I'll have to ponder this... I'm sure my officiant will have some guidance.

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  • Lauren
    Dedicated May 2017
    Lauren ·
    • Flag

    Sabrina, words out of my mouth! I haven't started thinking about our vows yet, but I feel like 120 seconds vs 60 seconds - for arguably the most important set of promises you will make in your life! - is not crazy. People are there for a wedding, not just a party.

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  • P
    Super May 2016
    Private User ·
    • Flag

    My FH and I are writing our own vows too. I wasn't really thinking of it in terms of timing or how many words. I was thinking we'd both keep them short enough to fit on an index card.

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  • F
    Savvy July 2017
    Future Mrs ·
    • Flag

    Although I say run it by the officiant.... I say it is your wedding, they are your vows, and it's going to be your marriage.... Say as much as you want if it's meaningful to you! Don't let anyone pressure you to conform to any standard or convince you to do anything different because your guests might not like it. I say if there is anyone at your wedding who is annoyed or bothered by you "taking too long" they shouldn't be there. I strongly believe you should do what feels right to you. If you feel you should say all of that... Say it! People forget the purpose of a wedding and vows. It's not to "please the crowd", it's a special moment for you and your partner. Ok sorry I'm done lol I just hate the mold, judgements, and everything that makes people not do what is right/best for them. Good luck and enjoy each word Smiley smile

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  • Sabrina472
    Devoted July 2016
    Sabrina472 ·
    • Flag

    Sarah, we will not be reading the same vows. Sheri, I'm definitely consulting with the officiant on it. I have pared it down a little more by removing unnecessary words, not by removing any individual vows. It makes me tear up whenever I read it, so I think they're the right vows. :-)

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  • Andrea
    Just Said Yes October 2019
    Andrea ·
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    I feel like you and I are cut from the same cloth. Thank you for saying this. I just finished writing my vows at 4:30am. After my fiancé accidentally broke one of my mothers almost 50 year old pieces of wedding China. It gave me a lot to think about, and viola, my sincere, heartfelt thoughts and feelings just came pouring out. The wedding, the seriousness of the occasion is often overlooked by the party. I won’t do that. That man standing in front of me, my God above me, and any guests who care enough to listen and hold me to my vows, are what are most important. And I refuse to let “social cues” dictate to me how I express my sincerity to my husband.
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  • Sabrina472
    Devoted July 2016
    Sabrina472 ·
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    FWIW, by all accounts everyone loved our wedding. It was an unusual one and kept their interest. People commented on it, and the vows, in many positive ways. So it retrospect, it was definitely the right decision. Do what works for you, and it will work out!

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