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Savvy May 2019

Vows to stepchildren

Mariah, on March 12, 2018 at 11:49 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 11

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So I recently went to a wedding where the mom said vows to her new step daughter she also gave her a necklace in lieu of a ring.as a token . I love the idea but my problem is my step child will be a 15 year old boy when i get married. Should I just scrap the idea? Or what should I give him instead of a necklace. I want him to feel like a part of this family we are creating. My mom suggested we let him have a colored sand to add to our sand ceremony but I think that's a bit odd.

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Red Queen, on March 13, 2018 at 1:10 PM

Master June 2016
Sarah · on March 12, 2018 at 11:55 PM
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Children being included in the sand ceremony is actually quite common. I would get him something, not to be presented during the ceremony, that fits his personality.
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VIP June 2018
PrincessLawrence · on March 12, 2018 at 11:56 PM
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No not at all! I love the sand idea and I have seen a lot of blended families do that
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Savvy March 2019
Marisa · on March 13, 2018 at 1:12 AM
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My FH's son will be 13 when get married, so I've been thinking about doing something similar also. I've thought about a watch. I doubt he would use it, but I hope it'll be something he could keep. I've also thought of a cross necklace, also something he probably wouldnt wear. I'll definitely say a vow to him, even if I end up not giving him anything.
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Savvy March 2019
Marisa · on March 13, 2018 at 1:14 AM
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Are you giving your FH a gift? Maybe give him a matching version. Just another thought. Lol.
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Expert May 2018
xRApril · on March 13, 2018 at 3:53 AM
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I think a watch would be a good gift!
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Beginner October 2018
Evan · on March 13, 2018 at 4:00 AM
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Love your ideas!!! I think the sand idea is sweet, not weird. You could pick a neutral vase rather than a heart or a more couple-y shape. You could also ask him how he prefers to be included to make it special for him. Maybe let him choose half the idea (sand or watch) and make a special vow as a surprise.
Enjoy your day!
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VIP September 2018
rica · on March 13, 2018 at 8:20 AM
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I love the sentiment, but honestly, I think a 15 year old boy would be mortified. Not to be too blunt, but he already has a family. I think including him in the wedding party, and even asking his opinion on wedding decisions, would be a better way to make him feel more grown up.
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Savvy May 2019
Mariah · on March 13, 2018 at 9:36 AM
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I didn't even think of a watch that's a good one! I was so hung up on the necklace I forgot men's jewelery exists 😂
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Super June 2018
Future Mrs M · on March 13, 2018 at 10:15 AM
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If we write our own vows (still in the air), I plan to include my step son in them. I want them to understand they are a part of this. He is only 6, but it is important to me.
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Expert June 2019
Ginsteeca · on March 13, 2018 at 11:24 AM
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We're skipping anything like that during the ceremony with our kids. My boys will be nearly 15, and nearly 18 when we get married, FH's son will be 8 years old. We're including them in the bridal party - FH's son is best man, my sons are groomsmen, my oldest will be giving me away as well. In addition to this we're going on a familymoon a couple of weeks after the wedding to celebrate our blended family.
I love the idea of giving him a watch or matching gift to what you give FH. 15 year old boys can be very awkward and he might feel embarrassed having the spotlight on him. And truthfully he's old enough to know his own mind. Ask him if there are any ways he would like to be included and if so what his ideas are.
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VIP May 2018
Red Queen · on March 13, 2018 at 1:10 PM
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Have you asked him what part he would like? My 8 year old is thrilled to be in our wedding and to be the ring bearer, but he doesn't want to speak or be part of anything else.
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