We're here to help you keep moving forward, no matter what your plans are.

Joey
Savvy July 2023

Vows prerecorded? Did you put any unique twists on your vows?

Joey, on February 25, 2021 at 7:02 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 11
Saved Save
Reply

I was wondering if it would be too silly or confusing to have the officiant read generic vows out loud to people and have prerecorded personal vows that we could play via wireless earbud to each other during that time. So we could still say what we want to without the pressure to speak in front of others and we could still share that reaction with them. (more so with the photographer in the ceremony space ) I think it would be awkward to stand in silence if I gave him prerecorded vows to listen too. I wouldn't want to put it in with the first look because it feels like its the promise of marriage moment rather then your beautiful and I love seeing you.

Another idea would be for the officiant to read about the handfasting colors and meanings and doing the tieing but I think that might be confusing if one of us end up crying.

Have you had any neat ideas about how to do your vows?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Gen, on February 27, 2021 at 9:51 AM
  • Alyssa
    Devoted October 2023
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag
    Could your officiant just announce that you two will be exchanging silent vows and listen to them? Or announce what's happening then continue speaking to fill the silence gap?


    Otherwise what about during your first dance you two listen to them?

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't do this personally and your guests will probably wonder what is going on. Just repeat after the officiant if you are nervous.

    • Reply
  • Joey
    Savvy July 2023
    Joey ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks you may be right although even a repeat after me would have to be short! Public speaking is terrorizing for me :p

    • Reply
  • Joey
    Savvy July 2023
    Joey ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thanks maybe that could be a cute first dance moment Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • V
    Master July 2019
    Veronica Online ·
    • Flag

    Depending on where you get married you might be required to say certain vows. We got married in PA and we wrote our own vows, but we still had to say the traditional vows as well in order to be legally married in PA. I personally think it would be odd if your officiant was just reading vows, but you weren't saying anything.

    • Reply
  • Krystina
    Savvy October 2021
    Krystina ·
    • Flag

    That does sound incredibly awkward if you both are up there listening to something only each of you can hear and reacting. If it's just that you want the space to share more intimate thoughts that aren't strictly vows, a good idea I've heard is to write down your thoughts in a card or letter or record a video that each of you read/watch before the first look. That way it's part of that quiet time between the two of you and you can have your genuine reactions without feeling embarrassed in front of a crowd or like you're holding up the ceremony. Also keep in mind, if you love someone enough to get married to them in front of your family and friends and be together forever, let that feeling of love give you the strength and confidence to say what you feel openly! Don't be embarrassed! But I do understand if you don't want that to be a part of your ceremony and keep it more private, I just wouldn't have that private moment in front of guests.

    And yeah, like Veronica said, a lot of people confuse vows with giving a speech about love and feelings or something. It can be that, but mostly the vows are the somewhat legal-ish part of the marriage where you're asserting your commitment to the other person. It's the promises you're making and not so much the "You look gorgeous, I remember when we first met, I can't believe we made it, etc." thoughts. So you might not be able to get away with just having the officiant talk and not saying anything out loud... your officiant can just ask you questions and you can answer if you want. If you're doing a handfasting ceremony, your officiant can talk about how the colors of the cords relate to a particular value in marriage (like a color being related to trust or something) and then ask you a question (Do you promise to trust your partner?) in relation to that, and you can respond.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar April 2021
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    We just finished discussing this topic. Writing our own vows & saying them in front of everyone vs having the officiant speak. I’ve looked at some of our officiant’s previous recorded ceremonies & they’re beautiful. I can just picture myself stumbling over my words & trying not to cry! That doesn’t sounds very appealing!
    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Devoted October 2023
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Look I'm just going to say as a guest nothing is cuter than both bride and groom be stumbling blubbering mess of emotion while having their ceremony. It's sweet and adorable.


    I (not so) secretly hope my FH cries when we so our vows. 😈
    • Reply
  • Joey
    Savvy July 2023
    Joey ·
    • Flag

    Thanks for all the interesting insights on this neat idea I had ladies!

    • Reply
  • L
    Lady Online ·
    • Flag

    This seems complicated and a little silly. I think it would be lovely if you guys did a first look and read your personal vows to each other. Then you could do generic ones in front of everyone during the ceremony.

    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    I would just share your personal vows either in a letter to each other before the ceremony, or during your first look. I think having your guests watch you react to something that they won’t be hearing, would be a bit annoying and awkward for them. Then just do traditional repeat-after-me vows at the ceremony.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics