Vow Renewal “honeymoon”

Well, money for a vacation would be gift, so it's not "instead of gifts". But I wouldn't include this request anywhere. If someone asks what the happy couple would like as a gift (and only IF they ask), I guess you could say they are saving up for a trip to Savannah. But it honestly would never occur to me to ask about a registry or any such thing for an anniversary party.

If I was invited I would bring a card with well wishes and maybe a small token (e.g., bottle of champagne). 25 years is DEFINITELY something to celebrate, but it's just not appropriate to ask for gifts and I doubt most of the guests will be planning to gift as if it were a wedding (vow renewal or not).

View Quoted Comment Some of their friends have already asked if I’m registering them anywhere that’s why the thought occurred.

I think having some sort of "vow renewal" website is fine then maybe a note about not having a registry? Then people will gift cash and they can use that towards the trip if they want.

View Quoted Comment Didn’t think of doing it that way, thank you!

We had big anniversary parties for our parents' 30th and 50th anniversaries. They mostly got gifts like picture frames and other "memento" type gifts. If people ask you directly, I think it's okay to tell them you are planning a small get-away for your parents (I'm assuming, the post is a little unclear) and maybe know the names of a couple of local restaurant chains or the hotel chain, and suggest gift cards as an option. Personally, I wouldn't do any kind of registry for an anniversary party.

You should never ask guests to help fund an optional party you want to host. You can however just not do a registry and most will give cash.

"Your presence at our wedding is all that we request. If you wish to give a gift, to save you from looking, shopping and buying. Here's an idea we hope you like trying. A honeymoon adventure is what we are after. We would love to make new memories full of love and laughter. If you would like to participate a monetary gift would be just great!"

This is what I put on our wedding website to try to politely ask for $.

Also I think it totally fine for you to ask for money as a gift to go towards their honeymoon! It's an awesome thing what you are doing!

This is VERY much a "know your audience" issue. There are definitely people who find any request for cash gifts in poor taste. Especially since this party is for your parents, I'd try to be mindful of how they and their friends/family might perceive how you proceed. While a younger bride may think asking for money is a good idea, a middle-aged parent might be mortified by this approach -- I would be.

View Quoted Comment Finally some positive energy. Everyone else acting like I’m asking for a kidney. Thank you 🙂

View Quoted Comment LOVE this. Thank you!

View Quoted Comment You’re welcome!

We are now in our 30's, and suddenly in our family and friends, a whole generation of our parents, aunts and uncles, and family friends are having 25th to 40th anniversary parties. But in many I have been to, or heard talked about, only the children or grandchildren, and a few other close relatives, ever got up a fund for a vacation , or a cottage for a month, or season tickets for something. They planned the parties and planners only split the cost as hosts. And more family contributed to the major gift. But I have never heard of anyone suggesting to invited guests to contribute individually, or as a group. Some people, in honor of the milestone anniversary, did give their own gifts, but none at or associated with the parties at all, beyond family. At some point on their own they sent something, or personally gave it to them. And I think that if people want to give something, they can and will without you initiating it. And if they want to give a gift, and know them well enough to give more than a $15 box of goodies or hostess gifts, they can figure out how to call or email a family member. If someone calls you to say, your parents are giving away things and downsizing, and we wanted to give them something they won't discard, do you have any suggestions? Then I think it would be perfectly fine to say, well the family has put together a fund for ( mini vacation, whatever). If you want to give them a restaurant card, or a gift certificate to get vacation pictures printed and framed, ... talk about it. But personally, I would think it crass if you solicited or mentioned gifts to any but family. And that, like most family schemes, should be done privately, not broadcast. People know what a special occasion is. They know whether or not they feel a gift is appropriate. And if they are honoring an older couple, likely they are themselves old enough to figure out what to do without you saying anything to start it. Put your email or phone number in the invitation, with a note, if you have any questions, call or email. And say nothing to suggest gifts unless people call to ask. No fundraising outside your family. ( Within family, do what works!)