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Super October 2020

Very surprised

Fmv, on July 25, 2019 at 8:35 AM Posted in Planning 0 10

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So over the last 2 weeks or so ive been seeing more and more posts on here and even on one Wisconsin wedding buy/sell group i follow on facebook.. talking about thank you notes.
Some brides are saying they are skipping them all together becauase its a waste of money,
Some send them to all guests even if they didnt bring a gift, or just people who brought a gift or card.
Im shocked that people are planning on not sending thanks you to the guests? I was always raised that if you get a gift or card you call that person or send a letter....and if you dont then you most likely wont get another gift from that person.
Family member of mine got married a few years back, she had us all fit out our addresses for send back notes...but she never sent them for her shower or wedding. Alot of family were surpised and upset.
How has this become a thing where people are dropping proper etiquette and not sending thank yous.
I personally will only be sending thank yous to guests who left a gift or card or signed my guest book. Its not that hard to buy a card at the dollar store, i dont even need a gift...just a card so i know you were there.
I guess im just shocked that this topic is coming up more and more

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Melodie, on July 25, 2019 at 1:02 PM

Super September 2019
ASMini914 · on July 25, 2019 at 8:38 AM
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I’m shocked as well, it feel rude to not send a thank you. I will be sending thank you s to everyone who leaves a card and/or gift, no matter the size. Even if they take the time to write a card with nothing in it, in my opinion why still took the time to celebrate with us.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on July 25, 2019 at 8:44 AM
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I agree. There's a lot of ways to save money in wedding planning, even on stationary specifically, but thank you cards are not one of the things that can be skipped. We won't be sending out thank you cards for signing our guest book, that's not something I've ever heard of, but we will be sending them for gifts.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 25, 2019 at 8:56 AM
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Yea I didn't skip those for my shower or wedding. Even my bachelorette I wrote them aha. There's never too many thank yous for the people who came to support you
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VIP September 2020
Kelsey · on July 25, 2019 at 9:06 AM
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I agree with PP. I think it is very rude to not send a thank you note. Especially in a timely matter. We went a wedding a year ago for FH's cousin, they didn't send thank you notes. I thought that was very rude, considering we gave them a larger money gift along with traveling across several states to be there. So I will for sure be sending thank you notes for every card/ gift.
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Master June 2019
Danielle · on July 25, 2019 at 9:08 AM
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Very rude, but that is the lazy / disrespectful world we live in now. So sad.
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Master October 2019
Laura · on July 25, 2019 at 9:19 AM
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I've never heard of not sending a thank you note! That is very rude! I'll be sending them as soon as I get back from my honeymoon
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VIP October 2020
Kelly · on July 25, 2019 at 10:06 AM
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I think you do thank people for gifts but I don't believe it needs to be a letter. I think if you call people it's a fine substitute.
I was raised to thank people, but also do not give a gift with expectations of a thank you and/or return gift, so I don't really get upset over no cards or whatever.
Wedding websites will list anywhere from one month to a year after as acceptable to send thank yous so I wouldn't think much of it if they're also sent later.
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Master October 2020
Mandi · on July 25, 2019 at 10:31 AM
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I'm always a little offended/worried they didnt get my gift if I dont receive a thank you within 3 months.

I'll be sending thank yous to gift and card givers. We aren't doing a traditional guest book, so going thru that wont be an option.
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Devoted October 2019
Annemarie · on July 25, 2019 at 10:32 AM
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I think it is incredibly rude not to send thank-you notes.
Especially for a function that its sole purpose is gift-giving (like a shower). You literally invited these people to give you gifts, and then you aren't going to formally thank them? What, did you make a Facebook event instead of real invitations too? (This drives me crazy and alienates all the older people in your family who aren't tech savvy)

In the last few years, I have traveled between 4 and 18 hours in a car for two different weddings, brought gifts, and never received a thank-you card for either one. This was for a close cousin and my future sis-in-law. I think it was incredibly rude of both of them, and in fact have heard plenty from other family members about how rude they think they were too.

Yes, on your birthday, you call Grandma and thank her for the card and $20.

BUT FOR YOUR WEDDING, where hundreds of people have brought you tons of money they'd normally never just hand you, you OWE them a written thank-you. Especially the older generations. If you don't want to thank your 20-somethings friends, that's one thing. But not sending a thank you card to your husband's grandmother for that really nice silverware set IS going to hurt her feelings, and she WILL talk bad about you to other family members.
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Devoted October 2019
Melodie · on July 25, 2019 at 1:02 PM
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Yeah, that's pretty basic etiquette to send a thank you note for cards and gifts. Oh, Wisconsin. lol
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