Venue will only allow Cash Bar

@Mrs.Mck we don't need alcohol to have fun in my family. Plus, as I said in the other thread my grandpa is an alcoholic so why tempt the man?

Getting a gift isn't required and I have known people who don't spend anything to go to a wedding in town. Personally, I always get shower gifts and wedding gifts. I'm not expected to pay for alcohol. Or why should my parents have to pay for alcohol when they themselves don't drink because of my grandpa being an alcoholic.

@OP like I originally said, I have no problems with a cash bar. You do what feels right for you and your family. If it's not in the budget that's ok. You spend where you want to and save where you want to. What's important to you?

Because, Carolyn, it comes down to hosting. A recent article in the NYTimes (I think) estimated the cost of a couple traveling to a wedding (a local one), buying clothes, getting a babysitter and buying a gift (or writing a check) at at LEAST 700.00. Add in airfare, hotels, etc? Now you're talking money.

You pay for drinks. That's how adults entertain.

Oh. A dry wedding. That makes it all better. Not.

And the ever popular, "you don't need alcohol to have fun!!!" Wrong.

Your arguments are all hollow. Read my list on the other "1000 wedding in Cincinatti" thread. Every single argument for a dry wedding is BS.

It would be an extremely rare situation where it would cost someone nothing to attend a wedding.

So you're not properly hosting all of your guests, just because of one(adult) person? Does he never eat out at restaurants because, you know, there's alcohol there?

@Carolyn I'd be leaving your wedding as soon as dinner was over and going to the closest bar. That sounds boring AF. Hope you and your FS enjoy cutting your cake without anyone left at your wedding

@Kimberly, well I'm glad none of my family is as upset as any of you are. And don't let the door hit you on the way out.

You can't be the only person who's ever hosted a wedding there. However, yes-just pay the tab

@carolyn I have no idea how you think that people aren't spending all that much to come to a wedding. Any time I have gone to a wedding, it's a shower gift, money for the card, hotel, new dress, gas money, etc. But Regardless, if they spend $0 or $500, they should not be dipping into their pockets to attend your unnecessary party. That isn't about needing alcohol to have fun, that's about not being a rude host. You don't INVITE people to any function and expect them to pay for something. You didn't go into your pocket to pay for it, why should they?

Now to answer OP .. I would do a consumption bar and pick up the tab at the end of the night or continue your search for a different venue.

@Traci I agree. Maybe it's a regional thing? I've been to a few weddings with either a complete cash bar or started off as an open bar then turned into a cash bar. As long as the guests know ahead of time, it's not really seen as a big thing, although obviously an open bar is preferred!

I would fine another place...I feel guest could not have to pay for drinks...

No way. Find a different venue. A venue we looked at kept mentioning the options for cash bar or drink tickets. She even suggested allowing the bridal party drink for free, and everyone else could pay, and I told her, please stop proposing those ideas. Nobody will pay for anything!!!

I'd find a new venue. On top of being rude to guests, that just seems sketchy

I agree with everyone. I would NEVER do a cash bar. We are doing an open bar. Ordering a keg of beer could be a waste. Not everyone likes beer

@Carolyn: When you invite somebody you are the host ,they are the guest. Would you ask them to pay for dinner? Leave a tip on the table? Wash their own dishes? Of course not. So why would you expect them to pay for their own drinks? You need to pick up an etiquette book.

Oops. Ignore this comment.

(Wrong thread/person)

Our venue only does " cash bar" as well but we are picking up the tab , we also eliminated the higher end alcohols .

@Carolyn: Not having alcohol for your guests just because Grampa is an alcoholic, doesn't fly. Part of recovery is learning the skill to say, "No" when the alcoholic is in a situation where it is being served. I won't stop serving desserts because my cousin Mary Louise is a diabetic. She just says, "No thanks." If Grampa isn't in recovery, clue the bartender and have him limit the drinks. If I were you ,I'd just have a simple wedding and clue the guests they'll be treated to a cake and punch reception.

The venue where I had my celebration of marriage only allowed cash bars too. We paid the bar a certain amount in advance and had the bartender keep us up to date on how close to that total we were coming, so we could decide how much more we wanted to add. Maybe this venue could work with you on an arrangement like this?

Just pay the tab for everyone at the end of the night. Problem solved.

Depending on how big of drinkers your friends and family are for special occasions, I'd be careful with a consumption bar. I know we loved a couple of venues and had to take them off our list because of this. Only due to past experience with friends' weddings, that have ended in $8000 worth of alcohol charges!!