Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Savvy November 2020

Venting about FMIL

Sam, on August 30, 2020 at 9:55 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 12

Saved

Flag
Hide content

No questions just venting. So my FMIL has a habit to make things about herself and also wear VERY bright colors that clash to weddings. My color is this pink that is very specific and hard to match with guys in navy. I asked both my mom and her to wear navy blue and both were fine with it and my FMIL was excited as she already had a navy dress to wear. I did specify that I wanted to avoid clashing pinks as mine is darker and she tends to wear neon pink. So at dinner last night she said she’s working on finding a pink Shaw to Wear with her dress. I was under the impression that we were on that same page as she said she understood and it was a great idea but apparently not. She is very frustrating and this is just one more thing that she has put on me to suck the fun out of the wedding by making it more frustrating.

Flag
Hide content

12 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on September 2, 2020 at 5:08 PM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 30, 2020 at 9:59 PM
Flag

Hide content
Maybe you can go with her shopping ? Or buy her something and ask her to wear it?
- Reply
Savvy November 2020
Sam · on August 30, 2020 at 10:03 PM
Flag

Hide content
View Quoted Comment
I would but last time we went shopping she only talked about pyramid schemes for me to lose weight and tried to sell me things the whole time! It’s very uncomfortable to be around her unfortunately!
- Reply
Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on August 30, 2020 at 10:56 PM
Flag

Hide content
All we can do is politely make requests. What others choose to do is out of our control. If you want to make a last attempt then maybe you can speak with your future spouse and ask him/her to talk to his/her mother about the dress request. After that, let it be.
- Reply
Expert October 2019
Kimberly · on August 31, 2020 at 12:54 AM
Flag

Hide content
If it's just a shawl she won't be wearing it for very long. At the end of the day, what she wears really won't matter to you. My only request for my my mother and mil was don't wear the wedding the color the bridesmaids are in. She wore the exact same color. It annyoyed me for 30 seconds then I didn't care anymore.
All you can do is make a request and hope people abide by it. If it bothers your that much, maybe knowing she wants to wear a shawl, make a couple of suggestions for her as to what would compliment her dress the best.
- Reply
Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on August 31, 2020 at 1:08 AM
Flag

Hide content
Annoying, but not the hill to die on. Glad she’ll wear navy! If you really want you can gift her a pink shawl.
- Reply
VIP September 2020
Molly · on August 31, 2020 at 2:42 PM
Flag

Hide content
I'm sorry!
Just remember people will be focusing on you and not her on your wedding day!
- Reply
VIP June 2019
MIWM · on August 31, 2020 at 6:56 PM
Flag

Hide content
I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Maybe you can re explain to her what you prefer her to wear
- Reply
Expert November 2020
Shirley · on August 31, 2020 at 7:08 PM
Flag

Hide content
I would let this go. You've shared your preferences. In the grand scheme of things, this just doesn't matter enough to argue over
- Reply
Dedicated December 2021
Christina · on September 1, 2020 at 11:23 PM
Flag

Hide content
Oh I know how FMILs are when it comes to getting an appropriate color to wear when you tell her what to wear. My FMIL wanted to wear a white dress with silver beading that looked similar to my wedding dress and she didn’t see any problem with it. Maybe you could just let her have obnoxious pink accessories like neon pink shoes and a clutch that way she can have that stuff but no one will be paying attention since they’re so small.
- Reply
Expert September 2020
· on September 2, 2020 at 12:10 AM
Flag

Hide content
Does it really matter what your mother in law wears to the wedding? I can understand bridesmaids and groomsmen but cant understand why anyone would care what the mother of the bride or groom wears... I can assure you that you will run into bigger problems lol
- Reply
Super March 2021
Kimberly · on September 2, 2020 at 3:12 AM
Flag

Hide content
Let it go. Let her wear whatever she wants. You’re lucky she agreed to wear navy.
- Reply

Master 0000
Judith · on September 2, 2020 at 5:08 PM
Flag

Hide content
It really is not up to the bride to choose colors or styles for either mother. They are adults capable of dressing themselves, and are not your attendants. Since she is not interested in following your suggestions, just leave it alone.
Any guest may dress in a way you don't like, and in the end it does not matter. Focus on yourself and your bridesmaids, and let her choose her own clothes, as you should have to begin with. It is not up to you to control her.
- Reply