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Beginner May 2021

Vent

Jessica, on October 11, 2019 at 2:24 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 15

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I’m sorry I just want to vent. I just asked my only friend last night if she would be my matron of honor and long story short she said no because it’s too big of a responsibility. I had just accepted the fact I was okay with only have her on my side during the wedding but now she said no and idk what to do. I’ve been spiraling down this seasonal depression crap so it’s making this situation worse for me. My fiancé already has 2 people for his side and I know it’s okay to have none but if I’m gonna go with none I’d rather he had none too but I don’t want him to just say “hey man nvm” so idk. If you read this thank you for taking the time to.

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15 Comments

Latest activity by Kaylie, on October 11, 2019 at 11:45 PM

Master February 2020
Amber · on October 11, 2019 at 2:29 PM
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I'm sorry your friend said no to being your matron of honor, I know that can't be easy. Take a step back from wedding planning for the time being and focus on your mental health. You have time to figure all of this out, just focus on you for a minute and breathe
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Beginner May 2021
Jessica · on October 11, 2019 at 2:39 PM
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Thank you. Definitely was a set back for sure.
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Dedicated November 2019
Ashley · on October 11, 2019 at 2:55 PM
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That really sucks. I'm sorry
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Super August 2020
Anna · on October 11, 2019 at 3:01 PM
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Sorry you are dealing with this.
There is a silver lining: it's a good thing your friend declined rather than accepting and then being unreliable. That could cause you way more heartache and stress in the end. I think it's really difficult for someone to say no when asked to be in a bridal party- I think it probably took a lot of guts for her to do that. Oftentimes, people just say yes (even if they know they can't handle it) only to be regretting it the whole time. Don't let this affect your friendship, and don't choose someone else just to have someone up there for numbers sake.
I think your fiancée's 2 groomsman could stand 1 on each side for photos and at the altar - after all, they are up there supporting your marriage.. not just him!
Take some time to decompress before you continue with wedding planning- it can be overwhelming and you have lots of time.
All the best.
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Beginner May 2021
Jessica · on October 11, 2019 at 3:18 PM
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I’ve definitely been considering that because the one is my brother so been thinking about him on my side just haven’t decided yet
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Expert September 2020
Christine · on October 11, 2019 at 3:25 PM
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If one of the groomsmen is your brother, have him be on your side as a bridesman instead!
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Rockstar July 2019
Veronica · on October 11, 2019 at 3:43 PM
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If you are close with your brother I say go for it. My brother was a bridesman in our wedding. It was great and I also got him a really cool t-shirt that he loved. It said something like I never thought I'd be a bridesman, but here I am killing it.
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Beginner May 2021
Jessica · on October 11, 2019 at 4:03 PM
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That sounds funny haha
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Master October 2019
Meghan · on October 11, 2019 at 10:25 PM
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Totally agree with this! And I’m sure your brother would love it!
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Dedicated February 2024
Daniel · on October 11, 2019 at 10:39 PM
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I understand even though my wedding is not for a while i had several close friends and family members tell me they are not going to come and it is still 6 months away and i have told them a year before. Our wedding party is lopsided but a lot worse she has at least 8 and i have now 0 but she will put her friends there but it not the same. When a few people said they cant make it i was like that is fine, to be hones happy not. But when close friend told me a few others it was like my heart ripped out each time and each time i talk to them since. I even reached out to a few female friends of mine to stand with me but all said that would be weird on your side not bride. So i decided i will be up there alone and with strangers all that meters to me is i am standing there with her
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Dedicated June 2020
Kaylie · on October 11, 2019 at 10:47 PM
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Oh my gosh do it!!!!! I love love love that idea. I am very close with my brother so I would consider that in a second! super sweet. You don’t get many chances to have with him like that and he has always been there with you growing up. That is just the best idea.
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Dedicated June 2020
Kaylie · on October 11, 2019 at 10:56 PM
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Wow Daniel I am sorry this is happening to you. I really feel that is unfair and sad and in this situation if I was in your fiancés shoes i would probably just having the two of you at the alter.
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Dedicated February 2020
Melissa · on October 11, 2019 at 10:59 PM
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Weddings can bring out some weird behavior in others. I had a best friend back out on being a bridesmaid last minute at my first wedding years ago. Try to shake it off. I agree to go with your brother. There are no rules!!!
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Dedicated February 2024
Daniel · on October 11, 2019 at 11:02 PM
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Its ok i will do as she wishes if she decided just us then i will do that but i figured its her day as much as mine and to me that dont matter. oh i was over ruled to have to dogs on my side
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Dedicated June 2020
Kaylie · on October 11, 2019 at 11:45 PM
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That’s very nice I’m sure she appreciates that. Haha mans best friend.
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