Vent? - trigger warning

Hi, it's been a while. So there's this *thing* that's been happening this week and I feel I got nowhere to talk about it. I don't want to go into details so I'll do this superficially and hope I get understood and some advice back. We're sort of passing through a "loss", didn't make it pass the 3rd week and there's been medical appointments all week. I feel extremely tired, numb, in the low and guilty I guess? Everything's okay, everything will be okay and our bond is making this easier to process but... I keep some feelings bottled to myself because we both know how much we both want this, and I don't let myself feel sad or "mourne" (if I even have that permission?) because of how little time it existed. My personality makes me feel off of course, but at the same time it's as if this judgy voice in my head keeps rolling its eyes at me and saying to stop thinking about it so much because I didn't even get a chance to "feel attached" or it didn't get a chance to "completely form". Doctor says maybe it's nothing to worry about and that maybe I'm part of the common count on women who just unfortunately pass through it. Maybe those are just my insecurities telling me I don't have a right to cry or feel it out, but I do? Is it normal to feel like this or can I just skip the feeling?