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Dedicated April 2022

Vent long my cousin got engaged

Countrydarlin2022, on July 29, 2020 at 2:33 PM Posted in Planning 0 16

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Hi everyone
I found out yesterday my cousin got engaged I am so happy for her, she is getting married to a wonderful man,

Back story this is my second wedding and marriage, the first one I was 18 and had a backyard wedding that my dad took over and planned the whole thing even my dress, so this is my first wedding I’ve planned and get to do what I want with my wedding
My problem, I was encouraged and pretty much told since it’s my 2nd wedding that IF my cousin wants a certain color,style of dress and or time of year food choices I should let her have it , and change my plans. I have my wedding venue booked I will not be changing the date and nor do I want to give up my wants for my wedding because of my cousin, It’s not going to bother me if she uses purple or has the same style as me, but does it make me a bridezilla or a witch if I refuse to change my wedding for my cousin honest opinions welcomed

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Latest activity by Ashley, on July 30, 2020 at 2:08 AM

Dedicated May 2022
Shelly · on July 29, 2020 at 2:39 PM
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It does not, everyone is allowed to have the wedding of their dreams no matter how many times they've been married. You have already picked the venue and date so I definitely would not change for them!
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Master October 2020
Margaret · on July 29, 2020 at 2:50 PM
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OMGosh... How awful! First of all NO ONE has the right to say any of those things to you. This is YOUR wedding whether it's your first, second or 10th. You are permitted to feel and do anything you want and have whatever style, colors, dates, venues, etc. you want. This is YOURS and your FH's day to enjoy. END.OF.STORY.
Do not let anyone bully you into changing anything you want. And from this point forward, I'd stop sharing details with anyone so whatever you do choose will be a surprise to all.
Sending you hugs...
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on July 29, 2020 at 3:05 PM
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THIS! Exactly what I was going to say.
Have the wedding you and FH want, regardless of what anyone else is doing. And since you already have your date picked, and venue booked, DO NOT change it for anyone!! Your cousin just got engaged, so she can pick a different date.
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Expert January 2021
Caitlin · on July 29, 2020 at 3:18 PM
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No, not at all! You're entitled to what you want considering it's your day. You deserve the wedding of your dreams as much as the next gal. If you have your date and venue set in stone, screw changing it for someone else! Don't worry about what other people are doing. You guys earned this just as much as them! Sorry you're going through this. Wishing you tons of love and the best of luck!
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VIP August 2021
Katie · on July 29, 2020 at 3:26 PM
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It doesn't make you a bridezilla at all. It doesn't matter how many weddings you have. It's your day and you are probably paying for it. You are certainly allowed to have it exactly the way you want. And since you didn't really get to plan your first one, this one is even more important that you have it the way you want. Everyone deserves their dream wedding regardless of how many you have had. There's no rules that says that you can't use the same colors, food, decor, venue etc as a family member or friend has. It's not like both weddings are going to be exactly the same. And even if they are who cares. Remember you are a bride to and you are just as deserving to have your day go the way you want as the next bride.
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Master August 2021
Jasmine · on July 29, 2020 at 3:48 PM
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That is something that should have NEVER come out of his mouth. You deserve the day you want and there will be people all over, family or not, that will have similar aspects in a wedding than you and that shouldn't be a problem. You will not be considered a bridezilla if you keep your plans whether you started your wedding plans first or not. The nerve of some people. You continue with the wedding you wish to have and don't pay attention to anyone.
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VIP September 2021
Michelle · on July 29, 2020 at 4:19 PM
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Omg no...I really don't know where people come up with these things. This could be your 10th wedding and it should still be how you like and want it regardless who's next to get married!
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Devoted March 2021
Margarita · on July 29, 2020 at 5:25 PM
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You shouldn’t have to change anything for your wedding it’s your day .
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Expert August 2021
Molly · on July 29, 2020 at 8:43 PM
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This makes me sad that someone made you feel this way! You deserve to have the day you want! Who cares if there are similarities. I agree with a pp that I would keep future ideas under wraps. I've heard of others who hear what another family member is doing (say using the colors red and ivory) and stops their foot and whines that they were going those colors and now they can't do what THEY want. Just to avoid family drama I would only talk about details with those who know the situation and can be trusted. This sounds a little cynical but to avoid drama you can't be too careful.
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Expert May 2021
Michelle · on July 29, 2020 at 8:46 PM
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Agree. Couldn’t have said it any better.
Stay strong, and don’t be let people push you around!
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Master October 2022
Jana · on July 29, 2020 at 8:49 PM
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You plan the wedding you want and she can plan hers. No one has the right to tell you that her plans take priority.

Don't talk about your plans with them and be very selective who you invite.
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Devoted August 2022
Sinaya · on July 29, 2020 at 8:57 PM
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Wait what? No way! You should not make any changes to your wedding just because this is your 2nd one. Especially in regards to the date because your venue is already booked. I can't believe the audacity of some people. Carry on with planning your day the way you want it.
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Expert August 2020
Heather · on July 29, 2020 at 9:01 PM
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It sounds like the people telling you that you need to change your big day to accommodate your cousin are the “zillas” In this scenario. Just because it’s your second wedding doesn’t cheapen the importance of it. I wouldn’t dress about it, and I would just move forward as planned.
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Dedicated August 2020
Chelsea · on July 29, 2020 at 10:12 PM
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This is YOUR wedding not a shared event that I’m pretty sure YOUR paying for. It doesn’t matter which wedding this is for you. Whatever your wishes are you should be able to do them without any commentary about this is your cousins first wedding.... okay and? Move on with your planning as you wish!
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on July 30, 2020 at 12:42 AM
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Not sure who told you that but do not share any details with them anymore. That’s pure silliness! You plan your wedding, your cousin plans hers. No dibs on dates, venues, colors or anything.
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Super October 2021
Ashley · on July 30, 2020 at 2:08 AM
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That is completely ridiculous. It doesn’t matter if it’s your second wedding; it’s still your wedding! You and your future spouse deserve the wedding you want, and there’s no reason to let anyone take that from you. You already have stuff booked so keep moving forward. Do not worry about what she’s doing and just focus on you. It’s not your job to tiptoe around someone else. If your cousin said that, it’s time to stop talking weddings with her. If it was someone else, that person needs to mind their own business, especially if your cousin may not feel that way at all. I’m so sorry that someone said this to you in the first place.
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Vent long my cousin got engaged

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