Vent! Bridesmaid bailed 2 weeks before wedding.

I phoned her about 1.5 months before wedding and asked if she was okay and still wanted to be a bridesmaids. I told her I didn't want her to feel financially obligated to buy a dress. She said she still wanted to be a BM and that she was just busy and that everything was ok.

Wow. How many kids does she have????

Talk to her and see if it was just a stressful reply on her part. She might not have meant it and everything will be okay! Congrats on your wedding!

I am sorry she bailed on you. Have you taken the time to connect with her outside of calling for wedding related issues? If she feels like you only call to talk about your wedding I could see her being upset. I hope I am misunderstanding you but it sounds like in the past month and a half you have reached out to her only to ask if she has gotten a dress or to ask if she still wants to be in your wedding.

Not that my way was better (it worked for me). I didn't ask my bridal party if they had gotten their dresses at all. I did mention once to them that if they wanted me to go shopping with them I was available and then I left it alone. My feeling was if they showed up on wedding day without a dress then they would be guests. I made bouquets to them and gave them their gifts as if I was certain they will follow through with their attire on their own. They all (8 if you count my MOH) showed up on wedding day in the dress color I requested. It was less stressful for me as it became one less detail for me to worry about.

Have you tried talking to her? She may have a lot going on in her life right now. A 12-year friendship is not something I would just throw away over this. Try to talk to her and see what's going on. Is she still going to attend the wedding?

She dosen't want to attend the wedding either! Said she was too busy and her "future" is her priority right now.

She has two kids. 12 and 2.

I have very little respect for flaky people, personally.

Unless there were serious extenuating circumstances (financial or health issues or similar emergencies), I would have a REAL hard time not finding her behavior a deal breaker.

It takes a serious amount of disrespect to not bother to tell someone you're not being a part of their wedding party until 2 weeks before the big day.

Has she been flakey in the past? Honestly it sounds like somethings really wrong, and I think I'd be worried if I got that message. I hope she's OK. That really sucks, and I bet you're disappointed in her.

I agree with Niki... That's some seriously rude behavior and I hope you get a decent explanation

What @Niki said is everything.

Sorry this happened to you. I think that's really low of her unless she has an understandable and valid excuse.

I would ask for a reason for closure sake but honestly, sounds like the trash is taking itself out here (which I know isn't what you want to hear, but when all the dust has settled, you'll realize this was for the best).

What a dick. That's not cool

I suspect she's too embarrassed to show up to your wedding as a guest after backing out of the bridal party so late in the game. I'm sorry that this is happening to you. All the advice I have to offer is that you have 5 other bridesmaids to just try to focus on how great those 5 women have been for you rather than the 1 who isn't.

'future is her priority'

Is she ill? Does she have marital problems? Is she taking classes?

No advice but so sorry this happened to you.

@Theresa,

Yes, I have

I made a few inititives to go spend time with her, and even message to see how she and the kids were doing (no reply)

That's why I just left her alone for a bit. One can only do so much too, I can only ask, but if she does not want to talk about what's going on or if there is anything I did or said, I am not being told just left in the dust... it's fustrating lol

I even went as far to ask the other bm's, "Honestly, am I talking to much about the wedding?" All of them said I was fine and that I never asked anything from them! (Except my moh planning a bachelorette) I didn't even have an engagement party or bridal party for her to take the time to attend.

I honestly don't know what I did.

Oh well. I am just going to enjoy my wedding and not let it get me down.

Thanks everyone for your responses, it helps!!

I feel your pain. I had a bridesmaid who told another bridesmaid the week of my wedding she wasn't going. BUT she waited until 9 PM THE NIGHT BEFORE MY WEDDING to send me a text that she was going home for the weekend instead because her sister was having a baby shower (which I found out was on Saturday, and I got married on Friday....)We also have been friends for 12 years, and while I'm not saying our friendship is over, I will not be reaching out to her to talk or hang out anytime soon (if ever).