Vendor tips

You can always send tips after the wedding via mail. We tipped some of our vendors that night, others we either mailed or met them somewhere in person to drop off.

I had originally planned to put my wedding planner in charge of handing out tips the night of the wedding. However, after giving it consideration, I think we are going to wait until after the wedding to send tips to our vendors. Not only will that be one less thing my coordinator needs to worry about (no having to track down vendors during that already busy night), but it will also give us a chance to reflect on the service we received. When you preload envelopes with tips, you usually choose the “standard amount” listed on a random online guide to tipping. But what if the vendor provides amazing service above and beyond your expectations? Or (Lord forbid) they provide extremely subpar service? I would rather wait until a few days after the wedding (when you will have already heard from others if anything went wrong with a vendor) to reflect on each vendor’s service, and tip accordingly. This also provides me the opportunity to write a sincere, heartfelt and personalized thank you card to each vendor (and include the tip in the card). Or, if the vendor accepts online payments, I will simply write them an email instead of sending a physical card. The only exception is the wait staff. I plan to ensure they are all tipped out that night because it would likely be difficult to disperse that money to each person later, and there is no guarantee the catering company actually gives the money to them.

Tips in the everyday world are only given for stellar above and beyond the call of duty service. They are not given for bad service, no shows, and just simply doing their job. A wedding isn’t any different. If a vendor is horrible, it makes zero sense to tip them because you are saying “thank you so much for treating us like dirt, have our blessing to do it to someone else “.

It’s recommended to wait until after the wedding is over (home from your honeymoon if you took one) when you are in a much clearer mindset and can objectively assess the quality of their work. Give out tips at that time, along with reviews. You can’t do that on the wedding day.

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I was thinking about mailing them afterwards too! But I would really hate for a great vendor to think that I wasn't going to tip them after providing excellent service. I also would hate for the tip to get lost in the mail or to forget with all of the other thank you notes and stuff that happens after the wedding. Thank you for ideas to think about!

View Quoted Comment If they are local, you can always drop them off in person if Venmo services are unavailable.

We tipped all of our vendors the night of our wedding. We did thank you cards with cash inside and tipped according to the level of service we expected to receive. Our best man was in charge of doling tips out before the end of the night. If for some reason something was a disaster, we could have removed all or a portion of the money in each envelope before it was handed off. Fortunately all of our vendors were great and we had no issue with tipping the amount we prepared.

Photo and video is really one of the only services I can think of that isn't more or less complete by the end of the night, so I could see waiting to tip those vendors until after the final product is received. In our case, our photographer (whom I trusted completely and didn't have an ounce of doubt about from the beginning) photographed our elopement last year when things had to change due to Covid, so we already had a preview of her professionalism in terms of working with her, getting our images back in a timely manner, and the quality of the final set of images. So I would say if you didn't have an engagement shoot with your photographer or have hesitation about them based on the service/communication you have gotten so far, I would hold off on tipping them, but I would probably tip most of the other vendors the day of your event once their services have been completed.

Preparing tips as cash (vs a check) and using smaller bills gives you the option to discretely change the amount you tip if needed and also makes it easier for your vendors to split up the tip among support staff. If you have a vendor who works as a team or has helpers, its probably much easier for them to divide the tip among their team when everyone is still at your event, as opposed to receiving a tip after the fact, especially for servers/catering staff, or creative artists like photographers or stylists, who often don't see each other outside of wedding events, and may not work together more than once or twice a year.

We will be putting cash in envelopes for our wedding planner to give out to each of the vendors at the end of the night! She gave us a list of the standard tips for each vendor and that’s what we will be giving!