vendor tipping

I emailed my day-of coordinator to ask her this question. Waiting to hear back.

I've heard both. I think I am just going to send them flowers with a nice thank you note or write a crap ton of reviews online about how amazing they are. We came up with a total on the "etiquette" of tipping and it came up to around $700. Sorry not happening.

The owning the biz thing is not relevant. The "they did a fabulous job' thing is. The person who owns the business is very often the last person to get paid.

Find out if what you THINK is a tip for the wait staff is a tip or their salary.

I found this pretty helpful:

https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/etiquette-advice/wedding-tipping-guide

We own the business, and we are routinely tipped. It's usually a random amount that isn't a percentage of the total due. It can (and has been) as small as $35, and it's been as large as $2K. Sometimes, the tip is a tangible gift -- something personal, like jewelry.

Whatever amount you tip, the message is the same. It says, "I don't care if you're a business owner or an employee of a business. You were there when I needed you, you helped me, your talent blew me away, and I wanted you to know that." It doesn't matter if it's $25 or $200 (the typical tip, at least for us). Every tip we receive sends a fantastic message. Forget the formulas -- just do what you think is right.

Would love to hear from you. Our wedding planner from venue said only to tip maitre d and person who will be bride and grooms personal attendant through the night. If all goes well, I will tip her with a thank you note after the wedding. Our photographer owns business but bringing another photographer and assistant so tip all three? Everyone else owns their business. I am actually helping florist set things up ahead of time to help her out. Maybe I should tip myself. lol

A detailed, fabulous review is the best tip.

@Centerpeices, do you go to each wedding you work or are there ones that an assistant or someone else delivers instead? We are having very simple flowers so the florist is having an assistant deliver. In that case do we tip the person delivering AND send you/owner a tip through them since you technically created the bouquets?

Thanks for responses. I am very much for thanking and tipping when I've been happy with service whether it be a wedding or not. Just don't like feeling it's a must either way. Also, I would love to send a thank you with the tip after wedding, but venue planner said vendors do prefer to get cash the night of. Which leads to someone being in charge of a lot of cash in envelopes.

I have heard that when they own the business, an additional tip for a job well done is appreciated but not expected. We sent our officiant a thank you card and a check for gratuity after the wedding because she was so awesome! I think its fine to wait until after the wedding for those "above and beyond" tips.

Tulip, it's very rare that I don't show up at the wedding itself (as I do a lot of table-scape pieces), but it does happen. There are times when my partner has to hire a delivery person to carry things into the reception area (although she always goes directly to the bridal suite to deliver the bouquets and personal pieces herself). To be very honest, it's my partner who truly earns the tips. She does all of the sales, correspondence, and face to face meetings. Our clients bond with her -- no doubt about that. I work on the designs, go to the wholesalers to pick up the product, and put in lots of hours with her in the days before the wedding. While the personal gifts truly belong to her, she is adamant that any cash tips just back into the business. She's a doll, and without her, there wouldn't be a business.

In your case, you can tip the delivery guy, but I'd keep it to a minimum (like a few bucks -- kind of like the guy who delivers your take out food to your front door). However, a real tip, if you're so inclined, should go to the individual who turned your vision into a reality while keeping the budget at your comfort level (it's more difficult than many people imagine). I'd send a tip back with the delivery guy and put your florist's name on the envelope. Within 24 hours, you should hear from the tipped individual. I promise -- he/she will sincerely appreciate it.

Oh, and I second what Celia said. A great review keeps your vendor in the game and booking more work. Don't ever underestimate the power of a review -- positive or negative.

We tipped all of our vendors. Some we tipped 20% (makeup/hair) and others we gave between $25-150.

@debbie - i'm not a photographer, but i do makeup and hair and bring an assistant to most weddings. She gets tipped out of the 20% gratuity included on my invoices, same if the size of the group/time constraints call for more than one stylist. It all gets split between everyone.

Also, please change your avatar to something other than the rings! They are associated with spam/trolls, so it may help you get more responses and it makes the forum easier for the rest of us to navigate. Thanks!

I don't think anything has to be done that night. I would much rather have a thoughtful note with or without a gratuity after the couple has had time to consider how the night went.

@Centerpiece - Thank you so very much! It's also great that you speak so highly of your partner!

I found this on pinterest and found it useful. Hope this helps!

https://www.weddingdash.com/tips-tipping/

If you feel the need to tip due to exceptional service, then I would do it by a flat amount rather than a percentage for the higher priced vendors. $2000 in tips for a band is over the top. $50 to each band member is fine.

We had a string quartet for the ceremony and cocktail hour and I tipped each of them $40. I also tipped $50 to each of the serving staff, $150 to the bartender, $200 to the service captain and $200 to the DOC.

Also, I think 20% for the hair and makeup person is very appropriate. So you can decided on a case by case basis.

We did not tip our floral designer or DJ. In my opinion, the business owner aspect IS relevant. Both of these vendors are owners and are able to set their own fees to ensure they are well compensated. They were among the highest priced vendors in my area for their services, and I was happy to pay that high price as they were great. But I didn't feel the need to give extra money when I had spent so much already. I did leave great reviews though.

How does it work for tipping the catering company. We could be look at 10 plus people. I know they add a service charge but I'm not sure if we tip on top of that

@Emily-- Out of curiosity, did you have to pay a 20% gratuity in your contract to your venue/caterer and you still tipped the waitstaff? My gratuity is included, but I am still trying to decide if I should tip on top of that. Glad to hear that 20% for larger priced vendors may not be expected. If I do splurge on this $4k wedding planner, I will certainly not have $800 to tip her the day of.